How can I avoid getting old?

Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports
1

I have to interject a couple of points regarding the answer to this question, which I found a little misleading.

  1. Stop thinking

While not thinking may slow the aging process down so far as superficial attributes (wrinkles, hair loss) are concerned, it would not help us live to be 100. The key to that kind of longevity is a healthy mind as well as a healthy body, and a healthy brain requires constant mental stimulation. Lack of it is why the majority of people pass away in their sleep. So read, travel, learn new things, have interesting conversations, think hard, and never stop thinking.

  1. Drink

I hate to sound like a party pooper, but while research does show the antioxidants and resveratrol in red wine may have certain health benefits, the dominant ingredient in wine is still alcohol, and alcohol is bad for you, plain and simple. The negative effects of the alcohol will always outweigh the positive effects of the other ingredients. The whole wine-is-good-for-you craze in the US is ridiculous. Drink it because you like it, not because of some fantasy that you’re being a health nut when you reach for the pinot noir.

It is the same with pot smokers. You’re not fighting the threat of future Alzheimer’s by lighting up a spliff, you’re jusy inhaling unhealthy plant matter into your lungs. It’s perfectly healthy to have some pressure behind your eyeballs. Just because some Indian woman has lived to be 120 and attributes her longevity to smoking weed everyday doesn’t mean you’re going to outlive her as long as you keep filling your bong with fresh water everyday after polishing off your $5 foot long and barbecue chips.

Well, anyway, end of criticism/rant.

2

There’s only one way to avoid getting old and that is to die young.

Not much of an option, is it?

3

Can you provide some medical evidence for this? I find it hard to believe.

I would also ask for evidence that alcohol is bad in all amounts, but I don’t believe there is any, plain and simple. And I say that as a recovering alcoholic.

4

Is there a particular Straight Dope column that this is relevant to?

5

This oneI guess…

6

Thanks; somehow I missed that one on the front page.

I’d also like to see a cite to back up this statement.

7

You really need to read up on the reduction in mortality and relative risk of cardiovascular disease and stroke at low levels of alcohol consumption. While for some there may be an increase in the risk of liver disease or cancers, the net effect AFAIK is that at the 1-2 drinks per diem level, there is nonetheless a net decrease in relative risk.

Here’s a sample cite of one: http://circ.ahajournals.org/cgi/content/full/94/11/3023

8

I wonder if Vladimir was maybe thinking of all risk factors associated with alcohol consumption, like maybe traffic deaths, deaths by violence, and such. I don’t know how those might figure in, though.
RR

9

If that really is true, then you should make sure you drink a lot, because it’ll definately keep you from getting old.

10

The fountain of youth perhaps lies in understanding the secrets of “negligible senescene,” and figuring out if there is a way to apply it to humans. Some scientific groups are working on such projects.