I’m very fascinated by outsider art. I don’t always enjoy it, but I like that I don’t always enjoy it. I like that there are still things in the world that feel completely alien to me.
I like to make art, especially collage, and this evening I tried my hand at ignoring convention and aesthetics, and just putting things on paper because they reflected my feelings, or made me laugh. Then I looked at the results. They were ugly, but they weren’t ugly in a raw, human way, they were ugly because they looked like I was trying too hard.
Is there a way to stop trying too hard, or is it too late for me now? I feel like I’ve always been a bit self-conscious as an artist and writer. At least, I was after (at age 6 or thereabouts) I gave up on insisting that horses did have round heads and looked exactly like I was drawing them. If only I had stopped while I was ahead*!
I know it’s a deep question, and probably difficult to answer, but if not for IMHO, where else would I ask?