How can I get my wife to appreciate Automobiles? Is there a Gender issue here?

I love cars. I like going to car shows to look at the craftmanship of the old muscle cars, and the new sleek designs of the modern cars. When I am driving with my wife and I see a nice car I’ll say something like: “wow…do you know what it took to make that thing? It’s got over 500 horsepower under that hood…”
Her reaction is a blank stare. Or even a sly remark, “I just don’t care honey, a car is a car…”

This irks me to no end. My wife drives a very nice one of these and doesn’t even care that it is an extremely efficient machine that will run for a very long time. I think she just likes the way it looks, and could care less about the reason it drives so well.

The other day we were hiking in north Phoenix at Squaw Peak. When we came down from the trail there was one of these parked in the parking lot, I was completely awestruck when I saw it. I had to take a closer look. When my wife saw me walking over towards it she got agitated saying that she just wanted to go, and that it was just some dumb car… Or something along those lines.

Some dumb car huh?? an 06’ Bentley is not some dumb car!

So can anyone shed some light on this phenomenon? I know it is not just a guy thing…as I know women who love autos (granted they are in a slight minority) so what is it? Any doper women want to shed some light on this? Or doper guys? Any guys deal with the same problem?

Guy here. I agree with the wife. A car is a way to get from one place to another. Preferably without breaking down on the way. 500 HP? Who cares? I’m not going to be using it to pull stumps in the back 40.

The other day, I was walking down the street with a friend, and a woman walking in the other direction was wearing this really great skirt. “Great skirt!” said I. “Didn’t notice” said he. “Check it out” said I – so we stopped and turned around so he could look at this great skirt.

He shrugged after getting a good look at it! :eek:

I’m a guy, too, and couldn’t care less about cars. If it gets me where I need to go, then I don’t care how it looks or who made it.

I’m married to a muscle car owner/fanatic. I can appreciate a car as a piece of sculpture, but once you get to the speed crap, you’ve lost me.

My reply timed out, so let me try again.

Cars are boring! And this is coming from a girl who likes things traditionally considered “guy stuff”. Yeah, someone made it, someone wil make more and more impressive ones.

And Bentleys are fugly.


They’re hand made.

That doesn’t make them attractive, not to me anyway. I find the Vanquish a much more attractive car.

Bentley looks like a box on wheels.

True, but surely not as boxy as the Honda Element…

I just like driving nice vehicles that are well made and attractive to me. I just test drove the Cadillac CTS 06 and really like that, but I don’t think at 35 I am a Cadillac guy just yet.

Part of appreciating something is knowing about them.

I used to couldn’t have cared less, but then I got a job researching vehicles for a computer game company. And since then I have been perfectly interested, just because now I have opinions and irrational loyalties and all that fun stuff.

Or, to cite another example. I am bored out of my mind watching basketball (w00t, ping pong on X10 zoom!), but because I played pool every day for three years in college and know what actually makes someone skilled and know why the person shooting is choosing the ball and lay they got, I find a pool tournament perfectly thrilling to watch.

'Tis true.

One thing I do like about the Bentley, is in Good Omens by Neil Gaiman and Terry Pratchett, one of the main characters drives a Bentley. How can I say this without spoiling the book. Well, he’s got it for a good many years, much longer than a normal person could own a Bentley. And takes exceedingly good care of it!
What happens to it is funny, though.

He’s a demon, see. And he’s trying to get somewhere in a hurry…and it lights up, and starts burning…but he’s a demon, so he keeps driving it, passing people with this fully aflame Bentley. And then he stops to ask for directions!

Same here.

Well, what do you have no interest in that your wife does? You can’t necessarily claim you want her to be interested in what you like if you can’t compromise.

If she doesn’t like it, she doesn’t like it.

I’m female and adore muscle and sports cars (and to some extent motorcycles) like mad. To me the noise of a 455 SD is one of the prettiest sounds in the world. But they’ve always appealed to me without anyone trying to get me into them; even as a very little kid I was drawn to them so it’s probably an innate thing. If your wife doesn’t have that taste to begin with then it’s probably going to be impossible to teach her or instill the appreciation in her to any great extent.
Small consolation but at least you can take heart that you live in a climate that’s ever so friendly to antique cars. I remember seeing many superb examples of Detroit (and British) steel on wheels during the two years I lived in AZ.

Why do you need her to like what you like?

Do you go with her to her karate exhibitions or whatever? Does she demand that you stop what you are doing and look/do/see X?

If that were me on that path, out for a nice walk–I’d say it was a dumb car, too.

(maybe not, I think antique cars are neat, but I give them no more than a passing glance and a wave).

Now, she has no room to complain if she agrees to go to a car show with you…

Dear Abby,

How can I get my husband to appreciate collectible dolls?

I love dolls. I like going to doll shows to look at the craftmanship of the old porcelain, and the new sleek designs of the modern Barbies. When I am shopping with my husband and I see a nice doll I’ll say something like: “wow…do you know what it took to make that thing? It’s got over 500 stitches in the dress.”
His reaction is a blank stare. Or even a sly remark, “I just don’t care honey, a doll is a doll…”

The other day we were walking down Main Street north of Columbus Ave. When we came to the crafts store was one of these in the front window, I was completely awestruck when I saw it. I had to take a closer look. When my husband saw me walking over towards it he got agitated saying that he just wanted to go, and that it was just some dumb doll… Or something along those lines.

Some dumb doll huh?? a 19th Century German Bisque doll is not some dumb doll!

So can anyone shed some light on this phenomenon? I know it is not just a girl thing…as I know guys who love dolls (granted they are working down at the beauty shop) so what is it?

Doll Phlosphr

Dear Doll Phlosphr,

While we sometimes wish that our partner in holy matrimony shared all of our interests and enthusiams it is usually the case that we enjoy certain hobbies that our spouse is not interested in. Rather than take umbrage in their disinterest, revel in the fact that you have a private hobby of your own with which you do not need to compete with your husband. Indeed, your seperate interest in collecting dolls may lead you to friendships outside the marriage with other collectors, which can be a healthy way of blowing off steam and keeping the pressure cooker of marraige under control. Mr. Phlospher may have his own enthusiasms, such as cars, which you don’t share. Enjoy your differences and keep an open mind.

As always, make sure to consult your clergyman to make sure that your dolls are blessed, and seek therapy whenever you feel discouraged.


I hate cars.

I didn’t used to hate them, but now? I hate them.

The advent of the hate was when my husband got his car. Cars cars cars. Blah blah blah blah blah.

And people ask him about his car all the freaking time. Does anyone really care? My eyes are rolling back in my head as I type this.

Really old cars are neat to look at, but I don’t care much about fancy new ones. My dad used to take me to antique car museums, and that was a lot of fun. Can’t say I know much about them, but it’s really cool to look at a car that’s something like a hundred years old.

I do love my car, but because it’s mine, not because there’s anything else special about it.

My SO, male, isn’t into cars at all either.

I’m sure I made this out to be something it is not. My wife and I do a plethora of things together that we both enjoy. We are very outdoorsy and love hiking fishing, etc…etc… it is reallyl just cars and taxes that we don’t see eye to eye on :slight_smile:

Oh and Stranger on a train I copied your post to my wife and she absolutley loves it! :slight_smile: That was cool.

Soooo what kind of car does he have? :slight_smile: