How Can I Keep My Doppelganger Anonymous But "Legal"?

OK, so a “me” from an alternate world has “fallen into” our own world. He’s shocked, but realizes sadly that he’s stuck in our own universe forever until he dies like any other human. How does he know this? Because, from the alternate universe that he comes from, there have been numerous stories about people going missing for no apparent reason and “never returning” - so he puts two and two together.

He’s able to deal with this quickly. My “doppelganger” is much taller, much stronger and better than I am. He’s also got excellent sporting skills - such skills that could probably land him a millionaire sportsman career (e.g. NBA or world-class swimming).

I’m not wealthy or particularly financially strong, so how exactly can I “exploit” his talents (he’s consented)? He looks very similar to me - but I just have to tell friends that he’s a really close cousin. I can’t exactly get him to assume my identity because friends would wonder how on earth I’ve suddenly grown 19 inches (he’s about 6’11) overnight!

So is there no way that I can get some sort of ID and identity for him so that he can travel and so that the intelligence services don’t smell a rat and so that he can compete in sporting competitions? I don’t want the government to “take him in” and I want no publicity - we have both decided to keep this quiet; it’d only attract so much negativity (fear from the general populace; religious craziness and dysphoria etc).

Help? (He has been seen in public with me and people have remarked how similar he looks to me and asked if he’s my brother or something).

Is this a new definition of “doppelganger” I haven’t encountered yet?

Yeah, according to Webster, the synonyms for doppelganger are:

So, someone 19 inches taller is just a guy that looks a bit like you.

OK, to avoid confusion - I’ll just say “an alternate me”. Now, do you see where I’m at? :slight_smile:

Take note everyone - when I say “doppelganger”, what I really mean is “an alternate version of me” from an alternate universe - an Earth largely similar to ours - i.e. another universe in the bubble universe multiverse etc…

Two problems: You don’t have the means or the contacts to get identification that will hold up under scrutiny, and the sucker’s got your fingerprints.

Somewhere there’s a guy asking for advice on how to discreetly rid the world of a shorter, shoddier copy of himself before it finds a way to embarrass him.

Has he? Identical twins don’t have identical fingerprints, so why would he?

The real question is, would you and he have sex?

Could have been worse! He could have been a duck !

We’ll cross that bridge when we come to it. :dubious:

I’m scared.
There was another post recently about whether or not people would be suspicious if someone suddenly grew much taller and changed appearance.

It seems like something strange is happing with that OP and this one and they’re testing people’s reactions on the SDMB.

Something very fishy is happening . . .

If you were willing to give up your personal life and pull up roots, you could probably pull it off.

Take him to a walk-on camp with the NFL or some other league, give him your ID, and let him try-out. Once he’s on the team, and making millions, you guys go live in a mansion together, where he does his millionaire athlete thing, and you do your living off the millionaire athlete thing.

Go to the DMV, and say you lost your license to get a new one, now you each have a copy. When he goes in to pick it up, he has them correct the height, which is clearly a typo, since it’s off by 19".

You, or he, would use your middle name as their given name.

If you stay out of trouble, the authorities won’t take much interest in you. Neither will anyone else for that matter. You’re just some guy with the same last name as a pro athlete, who looks kind of like him. The brother or cousin story becomes more and more plausible.

I’m going to suggest taking this in a completely different direction: take the other you down to the DMV and ask their advice on getting him an ID. Take him the the Social Security Administration. The Health Department (or whomever handles birth records). Drop by Homeland Security.
Eventually, if he keeps insisting that he is a visitor from a parallel Earth, somebody is going to get him committed for a psychiatric evaluation. That evaluation will find that he is clearly delusional, but otherwise does not pose a threat to himself or others, so they can’t keep him institutionalized. They will have to release him and help him to become as productive a member of society as his disability will allow. Which means they will solve that ID problem for you.

And there’s nothing that says crazy people can’t play for the NBA.