The concept of ego defense mechanisms is really interesting to me, several of the coping tools I have used to avoid facing and accepting pain, limitations, humiliations or traumas are almost verbatim to the defense mechanisms I found when I started learning about ego defense mechanisms. Jung once said that ‘neurosis is always a substitute for legitimate suffering’, which is really insightful and pretty true.
I understand that the concept is just that when the integrity of the ego is under attack, and the pain/anxiety caused by it is too much to bear, defense mechanisms are used to suppress whatever pain and anxiety integrating the new experiences and knowledge would cause. And that some of these tools can create entirely new problems (paranoia, desperate attempts to become perfect, etc).
But by and large all ego defense mechanisms seem designed to help people escape from reality rather than confront and integrate it. So how can that possibly be healthy? On wikipedia they divide ego defense mechanisms into categories based on how healthy or unhealthy they are, from pathological to mature.
But how can any tool that is based on escaping reality be healthy over the long term?
Are the only truly healthy defense mechanisms those that integrate painful facts and experiences into the ego? Things like self acceptance, seeking acceptance from a group, or forgiveness (either seeking it or giving it) are the only ones I can think of where painful experiences are integrated into the psyche (rather than hidden from the psyche with ego defense mechanisms). Are there other tools? Is accepting and experiencing your pain, failures and limitations the only truly effective ego defense mechanism (since you’d no longer need to defend your ego after doing so)? Are there negative effects from accepting your imperfections and limitations? I once read a blurb about self forgiveness claiming those higher in self forgiveness aren’t as ambitious as those who can’t self-forgive (since the punishments of failure aren’t as high for those with more self acceptance). Aside from that I don’t think I’ve heard of negative effects.
If so, has anyone written on integrating painful experiences into the ego and bypassing ego defense mechanisms?
0 replies here we come. I love my esoteric posts.