We’ve all heard about those wildly decorated and heavily overspent sweet sixteen parties. The funny thing is I don’t think I’ve ever known anyone who held a sweet sixteen party that was any different than regular teenage birthdays. (Then as a Mexican-American quinceaneras often filled the role of big teenage celebrations.) Were the big parties common among you or your friends? Is it more a regional/generational/class thing?
I’m in my mid-thirties now, grew up middle class in the Midwest. I never heard of any peers having a Sweet Sixteen party.
My mother, born circa 1950 in the Ohio River Valley to working class parents, did have one.
May be generational, or may be class-/community-based. It never occurred to me that I’d get a “sweet sixteen” party. It never occurred to my parents, either, although they would have been perfectly fine with me having the regular loud-teenagers-in-the-pool kind of shindig. My grandmother, on the other hand, apparently thought that it went without saying, and was flummoxed when told that nothing of the sort was going to happen. My mother got her to funnel the party money into buying me a Playstation instead, which she correctly predicted I’d enjoy a lot more.
The family has never been super-rich, but both my mother and my grandmother grew up as “society” girls around St Louis, MO. (My mother’s father was an architect, and my grandmother’s father started a baker and ended up owning bakeries, plural, in the area. They both had enough clout to be active in politics; my mother and her sisters have told me about being “Goldwater Girls” at official functions.) I grew up in a middle/upper middle class family in an area where quinceañeras were popular in Mexican-American circles. The poorer families had less grandiose parties, but they were treated a bit like bat mitzvahs, in that it was customary to have one whether the girl wanted to go on display in a giant froofy dress or not.
When I was a kid, thru my teen years, we didn’t have birthday parties at all. With 5 kids, my folks couldn’t afford to throw parties. Instead, we got our choice of dinner, plus a cake, plus $3. This was 60s & 70s.
When my daughter turned 16, she had a bunch of friends over for pizza and videos. No big to-do there either.
Dunno if it ‘counts’ but my wife had a Quinceañera. According to her she was really ambivalent about the idea, but her mom pressed the issue. 4 daughters, 4 Quinceañeras. At my wife’s Quinceañera, there were five hundred guests :eek: which were all extended family. I asked how they provided food for so many people, and apparently they all cooked it themselves which was even more impressive.
Having been to a few from my wife’s family, I told her if we had a daughter I would be fine with having one for her, but only if she wanted it- if she was super against it I wouldn’t mind saving all that money. However for us having big parties is a lot of fun, and if two parents making minimum wage were able to afford to have these huge parties for 4 daughters without ever going into debt in the process, my wife and I could certainly afford to do it!
It’s weird that this post was started today. Forty-five years ago, I attended a young woman’s sweet sixteen party - I was 18 she was ummm let me think LOL.
I believe something else was happening that night - but I decided to attend the party instead!!
Anyway, even though it was a “Sweet Sixteen” party, it was not a special occasion “invitation only” event. To me it seemed as if it was a typical birthday party but because she was turning 16, they made a special attempt at emphasizing her age with party decorations, etc.
That was 45 years ago so I would imagine that sweet 16 parties have even less significance than they did then.
What is the point these days of sweet sixteen parties, quinceañeras, or debutante balls? With coed high schools the potential suitors in town already know the girl exists and has reached sexual maturity.
I think I had a pretty ordinary teen birthday party at 16, but I seem to recall some half-ironic sweet 16 decorations.
What’s the point of anything? Humans have had coming of age rituals since they climbed down from the trees. They mark time and build social cohesion through shared experiences, and encourage overproduction by incentivizing consumption.
At 16, I had a regular birthday party with my family at home. My choice of dinner and a cake my mom made from a box. They bought be a bicycle. My boyfriend cooked a nice spaghetti dinner for me the next day and we celebrated with a stolen bottle of wine from his dad’s stash. That’s about it.
I wasn’t aware of anyone in my peer group, or lately their children, having any sweet 16 parties. But I grew up in a predomintately hispanic region, so much so that a fair few non-hispanics have adopted the quinceanara tradition.
So are you saying that burning cash on a big party is good for the economy, or that it’s bad for the economy?
I lived in a middle-upper middle class suburb and nobody I knew had a sweet sixteen party that went beyond a basic birthday party. It was looked on as something from the 40s or 50s and totally uncool, which is saying something because most of my friends were on the uncool side of the ledger. You dressed up for prom.
Nope, I just did the hang-out with my friends, cake, presents, that sort of thing. For my fifteenth my parents took me and my two best friends to a local amusement park, but that was it. I don’t know anyone who had a special “Sweet Sixteen” party either. First Communion parties were usually the big event in my circle, and even then you didn’t see the big, catered affairs.
I don’t know about the modern economy. In the agricultural society most modern humans lived in until a few generations ago, this kind of thing encouraged people to plant a few extra rows of wheat or raise a few extra goats. Most years this would go to “wasteful” parties that seen to only exist as a competition for social status. But in famine years that little bit of extra could be what saves the village.
I had a Sweet Sixteen party … 37 years ago. It was combined with my religious school confirmation and held at a country club banquet room, kind of like a wedding reception. Most of my friends had them.
It doesn’t matter how big or expensive, every quinceañera I’ve been to, whether in Socal, Baja, or Colombia, has been way too long and therefore ultimately just excruciatingly boring. It’s a glut of pomp that no one really buys into, except the mother. The only thing worse is a baby shower.
One of my college classmates was complaining about having to attend a debut (the official name is presentacion en sociedad, introduction to Society), which as she said “is ok when it’s yours but the height of boredom when it’s somebody else’s”.
She eventually realized we were all looking at her funny, “what?”
“Eight girls standing here and you’re the only one who’s debuted. It’s… interesting to know there’s still people who do that. I mean, we’d seen the debut notices in Hola and Lecturas, but it all just sounds completely alien to us.” We checked and there was one other girl in the class who’d debuted, plus the sisters and female cousins of some of the guys. Some girls wished they had, since the people who do are in the social class to which they aspired, but wishing was all they’d been able to do.
Every debutante already knows every person her age who’s going to be there (with the possible exception of any out of town visitors) but, like having a cocktail party the day before a wedding (another thing that rarified social stratum does) it’s all about the hobnobbing really. Actual newcomers get introduced around, people who don’t have much occasion to see each other casually can talk informally, etc.
Roses are red
And ready for plucking.
Now you’re sixteen
And ready for high school.
~ Kurt Vonnegut.
Don’t have many chances to quote that.
Moving from MPSIMS to IMHO.
Iggyette has just announced that she does not want a party for her quinceañera . She is asking for a trip or possibly a moped instead. I’m voting for a trip!
I didn’t have anything special for my 16th birthday, family over, had cake.
TheKid had a little bit of a party. She and four of her best friends dressed up and we took them to a very nice restaurant. I splurged on a fancy-schmancy cake, served there at the restaurant. She enjoyed it.