Are you serious?
By saying that this man asked “what’s the problem?” on his own, unprompted by any question on my part, it completely changes the nature of the event. It suggests that the man walks up to a scene that he sees and considers to be problematic or distressing in some way. Rather than what really happened; which is the the “what’s the problem?” query came in response to me asking him about a nearby car that was parked next to mine.
And this changes your expectations of his behavior how?
Huh? I don’t even know how to respond to this.
It was a dishonest tactic by Acsenray to try to distort the picture in that way. It was not a true characterization of events.
I’ll accept “wrong,” but with “dishonest,” you’re escalating things in a way that, hey, does it make you seem dickish?
Anyway, even with your revision of the facts, my analysis of the situation doesn’t change. The fundamental problem isn’t the exact sequence of events. It’s the obstinate narrowness of your viewpoint.
You’re just quibbling about the facts and calling me dishonest. My point all along isn’t that I know better than you what happened. My point is that whatever happened can, in context, seem dickish. The difference between the events as I described them and you described them doesn’t make a difference at all.
Umkay. Such a “mistake” doesn’t happen accidentally. Come on. It was done to fit your narrative of the events and to cast me as behaving “dickish”. It DOES make a difference: If the man comes up, without any word from me, and says something like, “Hey, what’s going on here?” it suggests some sort of malfeasance. This is the EXACT scenario you laid out with your “mistake”. The ACTUAL words by the man weere a follow up to an answer to a question of “is this your car?”.
I don’t think either of the 2 versions make you seem more or less dickish. “Is this your car?” is when it happened. Anyone who hears that question automatically knows that the person asking it is getting ready to deliver a lecture. Lectures are dickish. It doesn’t matter if Acsenray got the order wrong, because your question was the only piece of the story that mattered.
“Is this your car?” is when what happened? Because it’s definitely not when Acsenray said that the interaction between the man and myself began. He said that it began when this man walked up and said, “What’s the problem?”, as if he was encountering something that looked potentially problematic, and only after he asked me that did I ask him if the car was his. Instead, the “what’s the problem?” question was in reference to the specific question of “Is this your car?”; which, to someone not used to parking in handicap spaces, might not appear to be doing anything wrong.
The dickishness.
Nobody gives a damn when he asked what the problem was.
Well give it a shot. It was a pretty simple question. Regardless of Ascenray’s account you clearly didn’t like the response from the elder man to your question about the car. What were your expectations of the response?
I don’t see where it was a dishonest tactic. Acsenray isn’t trying to win an argument for the sake of it. Either version doesn’t change his point. Your question to the man in the parking lot was not received well.
Look, you can ride this horse as far as you want to go. But I’m accepting your correction at face value and I’m telling you it makes no difference to my view of the situation. It doesn’t matter who asked what first or who said what first. It’s the totality of the circumstances. One again, you were out there giving the stink eye to a car and ready to stir up trouble. The guy saw you and interacted with you and learned—by whatever series of circumstances—that here you were looking at a car, inquiring about the owner, and on the brink of stirring up trouble. Now you can either accept this or you can keep harping on my inaccurate summary of the action, but it makes no difference. My evaluation of the circumstances applies equally.
So, what’s it going to be? Is this still a genuine inquiry into the question of what possibly might make this guy think you were behaving dickishly? Because if it is, then you’ll stop quibbling with me and actually try to look at the situation from someone else’s point of view.
But if that’s not what it’s about, then, fine, you can keep harping on how I gave an inaccurate description of the events—a description that I have nothing invested in and no reason to defend.
Uh, except that when it’s asked changes the scene entirely. But otherwise, I agree.
Well, it was a rude, disrespectful response which was entirely uncalled for and without reason. I, as a handicapped person, was asking a passing man (who very well could have been the owner) if the illegally parked car in the handicapped parking spot next to my vehicle was in fact his. To this, he accuses me of “continuing to act like a dick”. I absolutely do not expect such disrespect or rudeness to come from anyone in response to a fair, reasonable question about a situation in which a law was currently being broken.
If the car wasn’t his, all he had to do was tell me “no”; and if anything, I would have expected some sympathy from the guy, seeing as how I am a disabled man who has to constantly deal with the inconsiderate asses who park illegally like the person did who parked that car.
Only from your point of view, which you seem to think is the only possible one.
No it doesn’t. There’s only one part of the scene that matters, if you’re looking to find out the point at which you came across as dickish. When the gentleman in the parking lot asks the question changes nothing. You’re only harping on it because you want to accuse Acsenray of being dishonest. He admitted the mistake, owned it, and moved on. You should, too.
Ok, I’ll agree with you with what could have possibly made this guy think I was behaving dickishly but I will say that if this is so, the man was himself behaving entirely inappropriately and he was incorrect in his interpretation of my behavior. My behavior itself was entirely appropriate considering the circumstances of that situation.
You didn’t have to deal with shit. The illegally parked car inconvenienced you in no way.
If you want to get angry that someone was breaking the law, fine. That’s legit. But don’t act like it had any other negative consequences on your ability to function in a wheelchair.
So was his response. He was being provoked by someone acting like a dick.
Like I just answered in my previous post, ok, I’ll acknowledge that perhaps to this man, my behavior came across as “dickish” but if this is so, he was entirely incorrect in his assessment of that behavior and that said behavior was appropriate considering the circumstances. Asking if a car belongs to a person is not grounds for such disrespectful, rude comments. From an objective POV, his behavior was “dickish”; not mine.
The only difference is that he was provoked.
And here’s where you start measuring opinions by purported objective standards?