Avoid the wind and get the job done quickly.
http://www.polarexplorers.com/component/k2/item/33-the-scoop-on-poop
Read Solar by Ian McEwan some time.
Not that you will find an answer, but there’s a hilarious part where the protagonist takes a leak in the arctic and is convinced his dick froze off and is rolling around in his suit somewhere.
Doesn’t it involve green peas, a polar bear and an ice-hole?
This book may help… Everybody Poos
I wonder if they train in this procedure – and gain a title for their explorations – here
Don’t arctic explorers need the cold weather if they plan on traveling on ice? I’m currently reading North to the Pole, which is about an unsupported dogsled expedition to the north pole. They started their journey at the beginning of March and frequently experienced -60F temps. A constant concern was not moving fast enough and being stuck when the ice started to break up.
As far as the thread topic - Some of the crew members had diarrhea for much of the trip due to a high fat diet. It sounds like they just did their business wherever they could as fast as they could.
In one of Tom Bodett’s books about living in Alaska, he described hanging his toilet seat on the stovepipe of the wood stove so he could carry a toasty warm seat to the outhouse.
That’s the older edition. There’s the expanded ninth edition now: Everybody Poos Except Martian Bigfoot: And He Doesn’t Pee Either.
I remember reading about a woman who went on a polar expedition with four men. She mentioned that they were pretty good about turning their backs while she used the communal ‘bucket’. They have to eat a huge amount of calories including a lot of fat to keep their bodies going. Shitting in a bucket with three men in a tiny tent was one of the lesser problems she had to face. Another was wearing the same clothes, day and night, for the whole trek.
I can personally testify that doing the business in (fairly windless) -15F doesn’t cause any permanent damage or even really significant discomfort. Not exactly a relaxing ‘Read the Sunday Paper’ kind of experience, but surprisingly not-uncomfortable either. Though I was lucky enough to have a log to sit on/hang over, so I didn’t need to remove my pants, which would have made it more chilly, I suppose.
In the deep freeze, thermal conductivity will get you in three ways: wind, water, and duration of exposure. If you keep out of the wind, keep dry, and don’t dawdle, you will not get frostbite when taking care of business.
To avoid making a mess when squatting, do not urinate and defecate at the same time.
To avoid exposure to the wind, and to avoid the difficulty of dropping your inner base and insulation lawyers while not dropping your outer windproof layer, try to time your bodily functions for when you are about to enter or are about to leave your sleeping bag, and perform them inside your tent. The tent will protect you from the wind, so you are not going to get frostbite in the short time it takes for you to do your business inside the tent.
Keep a bottle with you at night so that you don’t have to leave the tent. Keep that bottle in the same place in the tent every night so as to avoid confusion with drinking bottles, and put a big label on it to avoid confusion in the day. Empty the bottle in your vestibule immediately after use before it freezes up.
If you must do your business outside, you will have to use your fingers to deal with velcro and zippers, so to avoid getting frostbite to your fingers, work quickly, take off your outer and inner mitts, but do not take off your thin silk glove liners, and take care to not get any moisture on them.
Always keep a spare pair of thin silk glove liners in your pocket, so that when the liners you are wearing get damp (perspiration, snow, etc.) you can swap them out and let them dry out. Same goes with socks.
For guys, peeing outside is not too much of a problem as long as you go quickly, nor is peeing in a bottle in the tent a problem. For women, urination (inside the tent into a bottle or outside the tend while removing as little clothing as possible) is easier through the use of a very flexible silicone funnel (e.g. GoGirl, etc.).
Male of female, it can be problematic if the last few drips wet the underwear (that pesky thermal conduction problem arising with moisture). Male urethras are about six inches longer than female urethras, so there is more drippage for men. As the head boy of a school said to his mother during a formal dinner, “No matter how many times you shake it, the last drop ends up in your pants.” It was a conversation stopper. Even although it is cold, try to wait as long as possible after you have finished for your urethra to fully drain. If it is super cold, place a piece of folded-up shop towel where you might drip before you zip up, and then remove it post-drip a minute or so later so as to to avoid frostbite due to moisture.
On a related note, guys should consider adding a lawyer of fleece in front the penis if they are skiing at speed in the deep freeze, simply because the head of the penis needs more insulation to protect from frostbite than the surrounding areas. It’s a matter of having enough insulation in the right areas so that everything is kept safe from frostbite without causing general overheating and perspiration, for it is vital to keep both warm and dry if you wish to avoid frostbite in the deep freeze.
Defecate in the tent on a paper shop towel and cover it with another paper shop towel that you have used for wiping, and then place it outside in the vestibule to freeze up.
An outer windproof layer with a drop-seat / rear-hatch will significantly limit how much skin you must expose when doing your business, but dropping enough of your base and thermal lawyers without dropping your outer windproof layer takes a bit of practice. A word to the wise when selecting an outer windproof layer: forget fashion and go with something that is roomy enough to permit you to lower your inner layers.
Will it work on a contingency basis?
If the lawyer is a dick he might fleece you.
Lawyers are experienced with briefs.
Less of a problem, I assume, for those of us who still have a foreskin.
True.
I grew up with an outhouse. When you’ve had a few days of 45 C (113 F) since the bucket was last emptied, I’d rather go in the cold thanks.
I’ve read the slopes of Mt. Everest have dead bodies on them. Lord knows how much excreta, liquid and solid, must also litter those icy environments.
This reminds me of an old joke. Why to arctic explorers wash their clothes in tide? Because it’s too cold out-tide.
Peeing in -40 is no big problem. The only bad part is breaking off the icicle when you’re done.