I feel kinda stupid for having to ask this but here goes.
OK here’s my situation. I got a new boss a couple or 3 weeks ago and I’m very attracted to her. Problem one is my job doesn’t really require much personal interaction with her. We have a weekly meeting of our group to discuss stuff and they just about drive me crazy. I want to ask her out to lunch at least but I don’t want to do it in email since that feels cowardly and I don’t want to ask her at her cube since it’s likely to be overheard and I’m just not comfortable with public humiliation. We work on different floors too.
I think she’s single, at least she doesn’t wear a ring so I’m assuming.
How do I approach her? help. help help help.
I feel like a kid again. I need ideas.
The short answer is: you don’t
Uh, she’s your boss. Unless a person you are interested in at the same company is: a) working in a completely different area than yours; and b) not capable of influencing how you are perceived at work, don’t go near them. That’s just common sense - don’t even get me started on the legal, harassment potential from this one…
Very bad idea. Very bad. Very very bad. Bad idea. Very bad.
I just don’t think I can say that enough.
Wise old camping tale, that goes back to the cavemen.
Don’t poop where you eat.
Same goes here.
I agree 100%, DO NOT DATE YOUR BOSS.
If she isn’t interested it’s bad.
If she is interested it’s bad.
If you date her it’s bad.
If you breakup with her it’s bad.
If she breaks up with you it’s bad.
If you marry her it’s bad.
I cannot think of a single instance where any part of the situation will turn out good.
That beign said, NurseCarmen, I thought the saying was don’t eat where you poop…
Do what I did with my boss:
Wait for her to seduce you, keep it a secret from everybody, then marry her. 
:sigh: I knew that. really, I did.
I guess my next question is, do cold showers really help? 
You guys are uptight. You can ask your boss out. Just write ‘call me’ and your phone number at the end of your letter of resignation.
God damn, I can’t believe Dumbguy beat me to it.
Well, I for one, would. I would just say something like, ‘I want to celebrate your being my
boss by taking you to lunch…’ Of course, this isn’t a date thing.
Just cause she don’t’ have a ring don’t mean she don’t have a boyfriend or girlfriend (whatever its called these days).
Also my opinion of sexual harrassment laws is those laws can kick in when the person you’re
getting sexually involved in is above you, e.g. your boss, or your sgt. or supervisor…
I dated my boss - years ago. It was a very very bad idea. I can’t even begin to tell you what a bad idea it was. Learn from my extremely poor judgment, Grasshopper, and search for someone besides She Who Must Be Obeyed.
My favorite euphamisms for this is - Don’t ride the working stock.
Maybe you should get to know her as a person first? Like say, I want to show my appreciation for your hard work by taking you to lunch or something?
What kind of work setting is this?
Other than that, I’d say don’t shit where you eat.
That’s just it. I don’t have any way of getting to know her better. While technicially, I report to her, I don’t have much reason to actually speak with her. I rarely need her decisions on anything or input since she’s not technical and my job as a unix admin doesn’t really require management input.
I afraid the excuse to take her to lunch would seem too transparent.
yeah I got that message. Actually I’ve heard all that before but I’ve never needed to hear it before since it didn’t apply to me.
I was kinda hoping people would surface with stories about it not being as bad as all that and we’re grownups here but oh well.
She seems so reasonable and down to earth.
I hate you all.
Are you willing to find a new job? If you are, start looking and working on her now.
Make lots of eye contact. Trite but it works.
Never email her except to ask for (short) appointments to discuss work in person.
Loose track of what she is saying occasionally (because you are so overwhelmed by her beauty.)
Can you blush deliberately?
Sigh very gently if she ever stands too close to you.
Admire women who look like her in her presenceor in her hearing.
Never invite her out for a drink; invite her out for coffee.
And when you find a new job, tell her why you are leaving.
And if she is new to the company she will not want to endanger her job by hitting on you.
What’s the saying? ‘Don’t dip your penis in the company ink’ or something like that?
Sorry, but I’d have to agree that dating your boss or even making an advance is a terrible idea! I’ve dated co-workers (you’d think I would have learned after the first few times but noooo.) and when you break up (which you inevitably will) - it is awkward beyond belief. And, they were just co-workers with NO power over me whatsoever. I can’t imagine it being someone in a position to take me down or make my life miserable.
If you really must get irrational - let her make the first moves. Which she probably won’t. But, at least you’re safe from a sexual harrassment conking-over-the-head. If it goes well, quit your job and write a movie about your miracle relationship - if it sours, see you in the BBQ pit.
-pinky
Unless you want to have to look for a new job soon, I wouldn’t.
Or, what LiquidLobotomy said.
Sorry, but I’d have to agree that dating your boss or even making an advance is a terrible idea! I’ve dated co-workers (you’d think I would have learned after the first few times but noooo) and, then, when you break up (which you inevitably will) - it is awkward beyond belief. Or, if they start up with someone else and you see it everyday at work - it can be really annoying. Either way, they were just co-workers with NO power over me whatsoever. I can’t imagine it being someone in a position to take me down or make my life miserable.
If you really must get irrational - let her make the first moves. Which she probably won’t. But, at least you’re safe from a sexual harrassment conking-over-the-head. If it goes well, quit your job and write a movie about your miracle relationship - if it sours, see you in the BBQ pit.
-pinky
Plus she could be one of these puppy eating types that will fire your ass on the spot for fake sexual harassment or something.
I am in the same situation as ArchiveGuy.
We became friends. We became involved. We got married.
Having said that, I would not recomend it to everyone.