My dream job is to be surrounded by yipping beasties while never having to bathe. How do I get to become a doggie trainer?
Train dogs. Sell your services to others. Voila.
There is no licensing or certification requirement.
Paging Elenfair. (Bet she bathes, though.)
You rang? 
Hey AlbertRose - let me guess, Shiela has you still totally wrapped around her little paw, doesn’t she…
There are many ways to “get there”, as it were. As Hello Again said, there is no real form of certification for dog trainers in the US, but there are things one should learn, and some services one should not offer unless one has the training for it (like, for example, working with aggressive dogs on behavior modification.)
So - routes to accomplish your new goal o’ dropping math and teens and teaching dogs instead:
a) work with one of your own dogs and start training it for obedience trials, agility trials, rally-o trials, and trials related to the dog’s breed/type (retrieving, herding, whatever). Work with a local trainer you trust. Let them know you’re interested in becoming a trainer. Ask to assist in teaching classes. Most of us got our start that way.
b) go to a fancy “dog training school”. Most of these are a waste of your money, though you might learn a thing or two about behavior mod.
c) go to http://www.apdt.com/ and read all you can. Ask questions. Go to the conferences. Combine this path with path (a) and you’re set.
Wufs and wiggles from my crew of crazies.
Elly
Elly’s the best!!! Thanks. You’re right, little miss Sheila-Bunz has both Mrs. Albert and I jumping at her command.
I sure would like to email Sheila pics to everyone. Hint,hint.