Ah, if they only existed, I would love to. The books were funny. At least as I remember them, it’s been a while.
They did exist, but only for nine years almost 250 years ago. And besides being too late for them, do you really want to join a Bavarian political organisation? 
Well, I could look past the Bavarian part if need be. And Bamberg is in Bavaria: good beer! Pity about the accent they speak though. It can verge in incomprehensible.
ETA: Of course Bambergers would strongly object to being called Bavarians. They are Franken (Franconians).
AFAIK the Illuminati were founded and based in Ingolstadt, in “real” Bavaria. I don’t know how good their beer is, but I’ve heard their cars are the shit.
I hear you! In Latin: Audi.
Horch, horch!
Now this thread is getting silly! Serves me right. 
I’m sorry (not really) to contribute to the silliness, but I’ve always thought that being a member of a so-called secret society, with ridiculous initiation and other rituals, just to bond in another men’s club, was silly anyway. The Simpsons (of course) had a good episode about it:
I was a mason for a few years when I was younger. Very similar to the Rotary club, but a lot sillier. When you are initiated, there is a particular ceremony, which involves dressing in a funny costume. Apparently sensing that I was nervous about the whole affair, the old Mason that was handing the ceremony discretely told me, “don’t worry, the goat feels just like a woman.” I was five steps out the door before they started laughing and told me to come back.
Most of the meetings were spent talking, usually talking about other meetings, other members, other chapters, etc. I found it not to be worth my time after a while and just stopped attending. They called to encourage me to come back for a few meetings, but that was that.
I see you are no longer interested, but they don’t make joining too hard. In the US, there is a website and they run tv commercials trying to get people to join.
We Freemasons aren’t allowed to recruit. We are supposed to gain members simply by possible new members’ attraction to the way we comport ourselves in daily life. To become a Mason, one must ask a Mason. Hence the “To Be One, Ask One.” We spell it out in Georgia.
Thank you for the clarification!
I was all set to answer “be the son of a Mason, or save the life of a Mason.”
And how does that work if the other person doesn’t know you’re a mason? I’ve met many people I admired in my life, but it never occurred to me to ask them “I like your style and your ways, Are you by chance a mason? Can I join?”. So you must tell them before of your membership, maybe with some information about the organisation, which would count as recruiting in my book.
The religious stuff makes me suspect they are not about structural engineering at all. If they were really based on masonry, rather than “masonry” as a religious metaphor, what’s with (in modern times, at least) the blatant sexism and supreme being stuff?
I had an uncle who was a Mason when I was a kid. He was dumb as a box of rocks, and since that was my only personal contact with the organization, I thought he was typical. Didn’t impress me much.
Do you have a second hand apron?
My dad was a Mason, and a mason contractor which confused me for years. My mom belonged to the Eastern Star, the ladies’ auxiliary of the Masons. Neither were active in their lodges, but I do have my grandpa’s Mason ring.
For women, there is the Order of the Eastern Star.
Does Europe have anything analogous to the Elks Lodge, the Moose Lodge, or the Fraternal Order of Eagles?
I can’t speak for whole Europe, only for Germany, but I’ve never heard about it. I know that we have Freemason’s lodges, but I don’t know about any other.
“Who holds back the electric car?”
They seem to be falling down on the job.
Hey, that episode was from thirty years ago, I think they did a good job.