Remember, too, that the girls will pick up on your disapproval but register it as a disapproval of them, not of their mother. Do you really want them to spend the next 50 years uncomfortable eating around/in front of you?
I agree, mind your own business. I’m waiting to be insulted and pouted on now.:rolleyes:
Psst- you haven’t been very gracious in this thread, OP. Not one of your finest moments, this.
What are you going to do when you need your mother-in-law to watch your kids for a weekend, and when you pick them up, they’re polishing off a big bowl of chocolate pudding for breakfast? That’s what you need advice about. Let me know what you find out.
I understand the OP’s concern about her future sisters-in-law, and it bugs me too when kids eat badly with the parents’ approval. Since these are children sometimes under your care, then I would suggest (as other people have) that you encourage them to eat vegetables, avoid processed foods, etc… when at your house. To avoid arguments, don’t have the “junk food” around the house. When kids come to my house and ask for soda, I can tell them “sorry, don’t have any” with a clear conscience - I really don’t have any.
For the rest of their eating habits, you could occasionally and discreetly make suggestions to your future mother-in-law that the kids should eat healthier, but I wouldn’t push it because in general people don’t appreciate good advice that can be construed as criticism. Sorry, but as other posters have said, it’s really out of your hands when they are at their mother’s house.
By the way, not that this is relevant, but I will have to disagree with this portion of the OP:
I am not a vegetarian, but in general being a vegetarian is a “better eating habit” than having meat in your diet - for dietary reasons and ecological reasons (sample article), so I would say that you may have done your SO a disservice by convincing him to add meat to his diet.
I will say that when she watches the kids, though, there’s no reason to have to offer pop. Oh noes, water or milk for one meal!
And now that I’ve read past the OP, agreed with this, too. Oy.
Another vote for mind your own business and lead by example.
I have two somewhat-related questions:
How were you planning to slowly intervene?
Why did you encourage your SO to eat meat?
Not so, a diet with a small amount of meat is just fine. The 4oz lean cutlet, not the triple cheeseburger.
Anything you say to your MIL will be seen as criticising her. Search out interesting tasty foods that the siblings can have when they’re visiting you, and, like others have said, they’ll ask their mom to buy it.
Trade ya my veggies for that burger…
Butt out. None of your business.
OK, let’s flip the sitch. Let’s say one night, when you’re watching the girls because Lisa is going to a lecture, Lisa drops the girls off at your house and hands you a bag of junk food because her girls want it, and you never have it? Are you offended?
I know I would be! She is trying to tell me how to run my home! Even though they are her kids, it’s my house, there are my rules. Conversely, when it’s her house, there are her rules.
This a joke, right?
I didn’t suggest that it’s not possible to eat a healthy diet that includes meat. Fish, in particular is a very good addition to a diet.
However, generally, a vegetarian diet is healthier.
Hahahahaha, did you really find it necessary to say that? “I had more fun elsewhere, na na na na na naaaaah”.
This is a good idea. Usually I try and help out Lisa by cleaning (folding laundry, organizing, picking up, etc) which she really appreciates, but I’m going to focus on doing more stuff with the kids outside. Great idea, actually.
I guess I didn’t mention this, but he’s 100% with me on this, actually leads the charge so to speak. Actually, I’m the one reining him in on commenting on their diet - he can be pretty negative about it.
C’mon dude, don’t violate the #1 rule of the SDMB. Knock it off.
shudders The thought is…absolutely horrifying. We’re waaaaaay far away from kids in my mind (like, 10 years away, 8 minimum) but she always cheerfully brings them up. Jeez. You really made me think about something I never would have otherwise.
Heh, this was kind of like the soda thing. She said verbatim “But the girls ALWAYS have soda with pizza!” Another time, she scolded me for giving the girls (as an after school snack) some sliced bell peppers and carrots from the fridge, instead of encouraging them to eat the rest of their lunch they’d brought home (one had brought back chips, the other cookies!).
Basically I was looking for pointers that the helpful (albeit few and far between) posters have said - take them on walks, do physical stuff with them, lead by example basically.
Initially because he said he hated the taste. I couldn’t believe it, so I encouraged him to try some I and a good friend had prepared. I never encouraged him to start a meat-eating lifestyle, I just wanted him to try it, since he hadn’t in 10 years and he was the only vegetarian I’ve ever met who did so for taste reasons, not ethical. (Cue the 9 thousand vegetarians who do so for taste). I certainly didn’t hold a gun to his head - we’ve both gotten each other to try new things. Months later, he started tagging along with me when I went to the gym. He really liked it, and eventually he started lifting weights. He became chronically hungry, complaining that he was never able to fill up on vegetarian food. He disliked having more than 1-2 protein shakes per day, and got tired of eggs easily, so he made the choice himself to eat meat more often, usually in the form of fish. He’s naturally thin and has low BP and cholesterol levels (and good genes on both ends) so he’s fine with the added meat intake.
Thanks to everyone who made positive and helpful contributions. It’s really hard for me not to want to take all their junk and drive it to the food pantry when I’m there, but this thread is giving me a positive outlet for the frustration, and some great pointers about the future.
MYOB - obviously not your style, but maybe if you hear i enough you’ll figure it out
I wouldn’t count on the OP figuring too much out, as it’s obvious that she thinks she already knows everything worth knowing…
Do you *really *find it necessary to quote by quote take offense and/or be insulting to everyone who dares to disagree with you? Why on earth did you bother to ask anyone’s opinion if you’re just going to be snotty about it? Seriously?
Absolutely agreed.
It was a serious question. But nice junior modding!
Weight management issues can be very delicate between some mothers and daughters. My mother used to position the peanut butter jar in a certain way to see if I was having a forbidden snack after school! When she finally dragged me to the scales to see what I weighed, I was at 130. I was 5’3". She was horrified. That made her more determined to control me and it made me more determined to defy her. I eventually ate myself into morbid obesity.
I would not dare to bring up the issue of weight control with either of the children. Healthy eating habits are a different topic and one her parents are responsible for handling.
All of us would like to “fix” things for people we love – especially when we are just certain that we are right. One member of my family is an authority on what everyone else should be doing, but her own life keeps wrecking. Such irony.
Face up to the fact that you were the one who encouraged your husband to take his first steps on his return to the tasty world of meat-eating. If he is still eating meat, he is responsible, not you.
Your food sounds delicious!