It’s fine to model good eating habits but don’t be preachy about it. If the girls ask why you’re ordering a certain item saying something like “I’m eating it because it’s healthier” sounds preachy and miserable. Just say “I like how it tastes” or “I feel less full it I skip the potatoes”. It’s like the squash casserole example. No one wants to hear the judgment of the food, just say “hey, here’s the squash casserole try it while it’s still hot”
The other side is to model moderation in eating crap. If they bring chips over to watch a movie get everyone a small bowl of chips and leave the rest in the kitchen. Eat your bowl and stop, they can have more but they’ll see you eating a normal portion.
That’s simply not true. A vegetarian diet is healthier than the standard American fast food diet, no doubt.
But I see no benefits of a vegetarian diet over (for example) the mediteranian diet. In fact, likely the Pollan “Eat Food” diet is best. Eat Food. Not too much. Mostly veggies. Not mostly veggies.
I believe that you are genuinely concerned for these kids, but this is not your issue to deal with, and it is out of your control.
Think about how you would react to your mother in law attempting to change the way you raised your kids.
Anything more than modelling good behaviour (and enforcing your rules when they eat with you) will just alienate your mother in law, and won’t change what she feeds the kids.
I have the glimmerings here… of a new superhero character. She saves people’s lives by changing their diets. Her utility belt is a spice rack. She carries a set of throwable seak knives. She drives an RV with a full kitchen. Her x-ray vision lets her see everyones’ stomach contents.
I was in pretty much the same situation in my ex marriage. My step-mother-in-law was the worst cook I’ve ever met - e.g. to cook Brussels sprouts she pressure-cooked them for two freaking hours; they came out gray and the texture of papier mache.
She has two daughters, one of whom is overweight and the other is obese. I sat down to have dinner at her house, and she fed her seven-year-old granddaughter the same portion as she fed me - two overcooked 4 oz steaks and an entire plate of undercooked oven fries (with canned peas). I presume her daughter inherited the same cluelessness about nutrition, as that granddaughter, now sixteen, is obese too, and her grandson is overweight despite being amazingly sporty.
What could we do about it? Nothing. Not our business.
The only protective measure was to save our own palates and waistlines when visiting - my ex couched me as “the world’s greatest cook” and therefore I’d do them a huge favour and cook for them whenever we visited. Thankfully they loved my cooking.
It was sad to observe what was going on, and to see how easy it would be to fix, while not being able to do or say anything, but that’s the way it goes with families.
Sure - I just don’t know ANYONE who actually eats the mediteranian diet (I don’t actually know anyone in the mediteranian).
I’ve found in North America where meat is cheap and plentiful people who eat it eat a LOT of it.
So, all things being equal, a person in North America is likely to be healthier if they eat a vegetarian diet. Like I said, it’s totally possible to eat a healthy diet that includes meat products (fish, generally) - it just doesn’t happen all that often, and the OP suggesting that her addition of meat to her SO’s diet has made him more healthy than when he was a vegetarian is…funny. Not impossible, but funny.
It depends on the nature of his “vegetarian diet”, now doesn’t it? It is entirely possible to subsist on vegetarian junk food, or leave out important food groups in a meatless diet. In other words, a diet can be vegetarian AND bad for you at the same time.
If the guy went veggie because mom was such a lousy cook he might well have an unbalanced, unhealthy vegetarian diet. We just don’t know, do we?
I’m not usually one to defend this particular poster, but the only way you can ask this in good faith is if you didn’t read the thread.
She has made it quite clear that the question is not “Should I get involved?” but “HOW should I get involved?” Everyone who responded to the former question after she made this clear is doing so with the clear idea that such a response will insult her. Thus they should be expected to be insulted back, especially with someone like the OP who had made it clear that she has no problem responding in that manner.
Some of you really need to take your own advice and MYOB. You can’t make the OP take your advice. Nor can you make her respond favorably to it.
Now for what I actually came in to post:
My mom’s best friend has the opposite problem. Her grandkids have been confirmed by the doctor to be severely underweight. She has responded by offering to take care of the kids quite often, and, when they are with her, they get all the food they want. The result is kids that are still underweight, but not significantly so
The thing is, there are still fights about this amongst her and her daughter, although it’s finally cooled down a lot. She has had to walk a tight line to keep those kids properly nourished, without completely alienating their parents so that she doesn’t get to keep them.
So, even with the advice to only concern yourself when they are under your care, you’re still going to run into social problems. What you really need advice on is how to deal with this, as, based on your posts in this thread, your first instinct is to respond very negatively when someone disagrees with you… I hope that is just because of the venue.
And the answer still stands: she should not get involved, no matter if she wants to, no matter what. The OP can frame the question any way she likes. That doesn’t mean that she’s going to get answers that she wants. That’s life.
Sure, as opposed to the Fast Food diet, Veg is great. The mediterannian diet is fairly common, not as common as vegetarian, of course.
It’s also possible to eat a terrible Vegetarian diet- one with scads of macadamia nuts is bad too.
There is no source of vitamin B-12 in vegetables. You either need to eat animal products or take supplements. Maybe he was anti-pill and thus had a B12 shortage.
How wonderful it must be to, at 23yrs, already know what’s best for everyone. To think it’s okay to tell someone else how to raise their children. To justify it by saying, “I have their best interest at heart, though!” To be so full of oneself that they honestly believe they, clearly know best. And so egotistical as to rebuff sound advice, when offered, following your own request.
It’s not your business.
You are not entitled to direct how her children eat, or what, (except when they are in your care, then - have at it, otherwise, mind your own business).
Tell me, will you be okay with her ‘influencing’ how your children eat? Or do you expect to determine what and how they eat because, well, they’re your children? I didn’t think you’d be up for that.
This isn’t really about children or diet or obesity. It’s about an enormous freaking ego.
So interested in telling everyone else how to live, tch, tch. When your clue by four arrives it is really going to pack a punch, hope you enjoy it!!
Again - totally agree. Oreos are actually vegan but no one considers them health food - well, some dopey people probably do - I know when I make vegan deserts people will have extra helpings and say ‘Oh it’s vegan so I’ll have more because it’s so healthy!!’ Uh, you know that sugar, is vegan, right???
As to B12, both eggs and milk are good sources, and the OP indicated that her SO eats (ate?) a lot of eggs, so I don’t think that’s the issue.
