[QUOTE=borschevsky]
FICS is good. There are several interface programs available; I like BabasChess. As well, most of the pay servers (PlayChess, ICC) allow you to play as a free guest with restricted features, or allow a free trial period.
I would also suggest that you take a look at the Novice Nook column at ChessCafe.com. I think it has a lot of good advice that can help with the problems you describe. ChessCafe has archives of this column going back years.
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I have to disagree with most of the comments in this thread except for the one quoted above. I see the problem as a lack of strategic understanding of the position, and of the opening pase in general. In the beginning of any chess game, three themes are dominant: development, center control and King safety. All three factored into White’s demise. At many points d4 by White would have been preferable, and this should be seen not as a tactical move but as a strategic move, as White exerts an influence in the center while challening Black’s stake, and promotes development of the dark squared bishop.
The other comments in the OP that concern me are an emphasis on thinking ahead, that is, searching for a list opponents moves and the variety of responses. While calculation is important after a position is understood, to verify the means of executiong a plan, it is not the way to form a plan. In fact, I tell my students that it’s not as important to think far ahead, as it is to think backwards. That is, before even considering what your move should be, you should ask yourself why the opponent made their last move. What did his last move do for him, and what did his move do to him? In short, understand why he made his last before before even thinking about what you might do.
Next, strategy is about identifing the relationships between the pieces/ For example, a queen and a rook on the same file have one relationship, and a queen and a rook on the same diagonal have a different relationship. These relationships help identify targets, and lines of force for you to make use of or be wary of.
Another important strategic principle is “space.” At the beginning levels, this means “who owns a square?” A square is owned when one side has more pieces attacking a square than the opponent does. Note that a piece on a square does not attack it and does not count towards ownership - in fact it can actually weaken the square as it can become a target. However, it’s the ownership of empty squares that determine what you (or your opponent) can do. That’s why center control is so essential. Center control allows you to have freedom in getting your pieces where you want them to go, and restricts where your opponent can land his pieces. Center control gives you flexibility in timing your attack, and makes it hard for your opponent to get close to you.
Tactical weapons like pins, forks, x-ray and discovered attacks, etc, are the result of strategic considerations. A position that is structurally sound does not allow for critical weak squares (occupied or not) for the enemy to target. A review of the strategic characteristics of a position identify possible targets, both in your position that may need shoring up and in your opponents position that may be exploited.
I could write lots more on these ideas (I am, for a chess site my club provides, www.mchenryareachess.org), but it’s one project of many I’m trying to do and progress has been slow. If you’d like, you can email me through that site, and I can give you specific tips and let you know when I have instructional material available.
But again, the most important single tip I can give you based on your post, is to think backwards first. This will do much to avoid tactical surprises, provided you have the strategic understanding to make use of what you discover his intent to be.