How do I get old? Let me count the ways...

I feel old when I take notice of the secondary sex characteristics of some female and suddenly realize that I am twice (or worse, thrice) her age.

I held the door open for a pretty girl leaving a bar last night and she said “Thank You Sir” and walked on. Ouch.

Last football that landed on my porch roof I threw away in the trash.

Do you know how many times I chased after someone in a parking lot to tell them they left their lights on? Then I get this look of pity…

When the hair that used to be on top of your head has moved to your ears.

My friends were shocked - SHOCKED! - when they learned our mutual friend was dating a woman who has a 14-year-old kid. The woman is 33 and we’re all 28-31.

I told them that doesn’t mean she’s old, it means we’re old. Old enough to date people who aren’t much older than us and have 14-year-old kids.

First you notice how young cops are . Bus drivers get younger too.
Now judges are looking young. When I was a kid judges were ancient. Now some look hot. I am sure they must be younger that they were when I was growing up.
Teachers look like they should be students .
A few years ago, I worked with a guy who told me I worked with his father and grandfather. I hate him.

This year it’ll be 30 years since my mother died. I was like DAMN that was a LONG time ago.

When you’re mother has been dead longer than most people you know have been alive, it kind of hits home, especially when you think I’ve now lived almost two times as long without her than with her.

when you can’t put your socks on without sitting down.

Younger teachers is something I also noticed when I was doing the temp work at my old high school. I wondered if there actually are younger teachers now or if, when I was a student, a lot of the teachers seemed older to me than they actually were.

Or the female version: where the hell have my eyebrows gone (and no, I didn’t pluck them to death)? They must be sneaking across the pillow at night and joining forces over there – threatening to make the husband look like Andy Rooney.

Kids that were born the year I graduated from college (1976) would be old enough to be President if they ran and won in 2012.

ETA: Oh, and kids born on my 35th birthday can now drink legally.

When I mention to someone that my birthday is coming up and they ask how old I’m going to be, and I have to stop and do the math before I can answer. (But hey, at least I can remember how to do the math!)

I am now the downstairs neighbor who pounds on the ceiling to “turn that fucking music down or I’ll call the cops!”

You know you’re getting old when you’re asked your age and you do the old"I’m this many" and your hands get tired.

The way I put it - the other day I told someone I stopped keeping track when my career got old enough to drink.

I started collecting “early” Social Security 3 years ago, and as of last month I’m on Medicare. In the next few months I’ll be having cataract surgery and two knee surgeries.

My next high school reunion will be in less than 3 years. Our 50th. :eek:

Heh. In a GD thread someone was mad at me for saying old economists were handwavers, and did use math. It turned out old for him was 1971 - which was when I was taking (mathematical) econ in college.

The old music my mother listened to when I was a kid, like Benny Goodman, was much more recent than the music I listen to now. A conference I attend seemed to be around forever (10 years) when I started attending it. It is now on its 41st year. I still think of Isaac Asimov’s SF Magazine as the new one.

Plus <Tom Lehrer> when Mozart was my age he’d been dead for 23 years.</Tom>

no, its the doctors who are younger than your children - and you don’t have that much respect for your children’s maturity! :eek:

When the damned President is younger than I am!