There are always exceptions, to anything that anyone will say here. Art transcends rules. Still, where Citizen Kane, as an example, suffers most is in the unsubtlety of its subtext and the nakedness of its technique.
There are some good works that make no bones about their agenda. But the greatest works that I can think of simply treat humans honestly and the thematic subtext grows from that.
I’d have to vote that you’re talking about your personal preference. Among classics, there are not a large number that aren’t fairly agenda driven. Shakespeare, Dumas, the gothic tales (Dracula, Frankenstein, etc.) and…that’s about it.
“Has an agenda” != “agenda driven.”
Almost the same thing wrong with your first sentence in your link:
Bolding mine. “Busy bustle?” There is hardly any other kind; the noun you’re using there means “excited, noisy activity.” You can’t really have a bustle that isn’t busy. “the bustle of…” would have conveyed precisely the same idea without the ugly construction “busy bustle.”
And you’ve got two dangling modifiers, the first being “…the nearby Maxwell Street.” For one, you don’t need “the” there. What is Maxwell Street nearby? If it’s nearby Chinatown, why bother mentioning it, sinc Maxwell Street is not the topic? If it’s nearby Ann Siang Hill (and it is), then you’ve just contradicted yourself, because you also said is existed “far away” from it. And “…a haven of serenity…” could be modifying either Ann Siang Hill or Maxwell Street.
Your second sentence:
There appears to be no subject in this sentence; it’s really messed up. It should read something like “Ann Siang Hill is named after Chia Ann Siang, one of the pioneering entrepreneurs of Singapore and a noted timber merchant and landowner. A statue of Ann Siang stands in a nearby, secluded park.”
Next paragraph:
This should probably be broken into two sentences. Also, you mean “premises.” A “premise” is a set of facts or assumptions that lead to a conclusion; “premises” meaning a building and the land on which it stands is always written as a plural.
… Sorry. I’m not picking on your writing, just illustrating what others have said; to get better at writing you have to keep reading and writing. And it’s always a good idea to have someone who’s good at writing AND brutally honest to proofread your work.
Don’t let RickJay discourage you, Chop. Those are all minor problems that you can smooth out when it comes time to proofread and revise. In my opinion, your writing already suffers a bit from trying too hard to get all the details right: your sentences are a bit tight and self-conscious. Write the first draft without any thought toward getting every little detail right; just get the thoughts down. Then you can send it to RickJay to smooth out some of the minor wrinkles for you.
Just keep writing, and over time your voice will flow more smoothly, and your details will get cleaner.
I absolutely concur. I’m in the process of writing a story right now; after much writing and rewriting, I had occasion to return to the first few pages I wrote by way of an introductory scene. They weren’t particularly “grabbing,” so I wanted to revise them, but the problem was that I really liked most of the existing paragraphs. So my first attempts at revision were seriously hampered by the fact that I was always trying to retain a favorite paragraph here or a particularly excellent line of dialogue here, and the pressure of those misplaced elements was robbing the whole of cohesion and tension.
It didn’t take too long before I realized that I wasn’t going to be able to craft a good opening page out of anything in those paragraphs, no matter how well they were written in themselves, so I threw them all out and started fresh. It worked much better that way.
Some time back I calculated that, just while posting on this board, I had written the equivalent of War and Peace. Doesn’t seemed to have helped. 
Mr Henderson, Mr. Bodi, and Mr. Miller… I used to write quite well, wrote a composition journal daily… not quite sure what happened… my writing style has becomer brevitated and terse from various factors.
Maybe write with a purpose. Writing as a way to occupy your fingers isn’t a particularly fruitful method.
Not that I’m any judge. My writing is piecemeal and stunted for similar reasons.
Having said that, I must get back to my screenplay.
Just to add to RickJay’s excellent comments, your writing seems to lack detail. Avoid using generic expressions like “haven of serenity” and “busy bustle”. Try to visualize exactly what Ann Siang Hill looks and feels like and how it’s different from the business district. Then select the most interesting details which will bring out the contrast. Whether it’s places,characters or objects, you should have a lot more detail in your mind than what goes on paper.
Actually, this is what I am looking for. In a sense, I tend to mimic what I have read, so I guess I need to read better books. There are many words which I have an intutive grasp of its meaning, but not it’s full meaning. I quite sure I copied ‘busy bustle’ from somewhere I’ve read, for example. Quite a dangerous habit.
I am not a langauge guru, and at times I just write down what tend to sound ‘good’ when read, but don’t make sense. I’m sure that writing is an art more than a science, and I have difficulty writing interesting sentences that are not full of errors.
Few people are.
Remember, even the finest writers are usually VERY well edited by one or more professional editors. Keep reading and keep writing, and don’t be afraid to let picky jerks like me point out a zillion little errors (preferably at least TWO picky jerks, because everyone misses something.)
Top writers read a lot - you’ll find most professional authors read a staggering number of books.
And I’d suggest taking classes. Writing classes will punch the key rules into you. To sum up, though,
Omit unnecessary words.
Avoid cliches.
Avoid overly long and complex sentences.
Avoid fancy words where simpler ones are available. Do not say “utilize” if you mean “use,” do not say “necessitate” when you mean “require.”
Avoid using the passive voice (e.g. “The home run was hit by Garcia,” as opposed to the active voice, “Garcia hit the home run.”) Some people will tell you to NEVER use the passive voice, which is silly, but you should only use it if you have a reason to do so.
lissener’s rule: Cut stuff out. The edited version should be shorter.
Go ahead and write like a maniac and don’t worry about proofreading until you’ve got a draft done, but when you do, have a picky jerk proofread it. the more you subject yourself to crap from picky jerks the better you’ll get at the basic stuff like grammar.