Besides giving it an American Express card? I am doing a humorous Travel Tips video for the school TV show, and wanted to throw in outlandish stuff like that. The Worst Case Scenario Survival handbook says nothing on it. Please provide step-by-step instructions.
Thanks!
According to this site…
When rhinos attack, the charge is “blind” and it is quite dangerous to be in their path. Surprisingly, they are very agile and, after charging a tree or the wrong party due to their poor eyes, they can stop almost immeditely, turn around and charge again. It is said that it’s very dangerous when two males are fighting because the loser will charge any othe rcreature present in order to “save face.” The best way to evade a charging rhino is to run in a zig-zag towards the closest tree
The National Wildlife Foundation agrees:
Recently, he gave Garnier a hand and a future, too, helping her escape a charging rhino. “Kenneth climbed up a tree and pulled me up just in time,” says Garnier. “Quick tree-climbing is the key skill for working with rhino.”
Isn’t the urban legend version that you should light something on fire, like a paper bag, as then he’ll be distracted as rhinos can’t help but stop and stomp out fires? I know I heard this somewhere BEFORE I heard it on the SImpsons. . .
You want to get hold of footage of a TOW missile firing and travelling downrange. Swap in a rhino for the tank in the last frames.
Was it from the movie “The Gods Must Be Crazy”? A rhino stomped out a fire Kate needed to dry off by, but Kate didn’t believe Andrew when he said a rhino had just run by and stomped it out.
Seconding AWB, it’s from THE GODS MUST BE CRAZY, a very very funny movie. And it’s now passed into urban legend, amazingly enough… Around once a month, someone writes in to Cecil asking if it’s true that rhinos stop to put out forest fires. Sigh.
I always thought it was ducks that put out forest fires – that’s why they have those flat feet.
Of course, the reason rhinos have flat feet is to put out flaming ducks.
(quercus now tries to duck flames…)
This seems to contradict what Jophiel found, but I remember a technique from a book on big game hunting I read many years ago. Basically, you aren’t going to stop the rhino, the thing to do is to make sure he misses you. This is done by standing still until he’s nearly on top of you, then side-stepping at the last moment. His momentum will carry him a ways, giving you time to get somewhere safer.
Take away its credit card.
Sorry. Someone had to say it.
I thought you looked at the Rhino through the wrong end of a telescope and then picked him up with some tweezers and put him in an empty match box…
If that doesn’t work, maybe you could hold his nose till he turns blue and then shoot him with a blue elephant gun…
Good Luck!
Grab him in the biscuits.
Of course, this technique requires considerable practice. 
That’s why I eat animal crackers every day… just in case…
Ask him, “What is the airspeed velocity of a swallow…”
It’s my understanding that a creature that large carries a huge chunk of momentum with it when it begins charging. An object in motion tends to stay in motion, no?
The suggestion I have heard is that since rhinos have such stubby legs, you can actually stop a charging rhino (!) by destroying one of front knee joints, producing an effect similar to that of jamming a stick through the front spokes of a moving bicycle. I’m sure the knee isn’t a very big target, and you’d have to have a substantial weapon to make a dent in such a tough target, but such weapons do exist and I imagine are rather common in safari situations - the Holland and Holland Royal Double Rifle (.465) comes to mind.
If I remember correctly, Ted Nugent had some success violently castrating a charging rhino at 60 paces using nothing more than his Gibson Byrdland, but I don’t recall him mentioning whether that actually stopped the rhino.
While you may not be able to obtain actual footage of this method, including the rap from “Double Live Gonzo” where Ted recounts the ordeal in your video might prove to be entertaining.