If you care what you look like why is your wife buying your clothes?
I had to buy my husband’s clothes because left unattended he would go out in Bermuda shorts and a Nehru jacket so I went the Garanimals route and picked him things easily matchable with very little thought.
If you have a specific “look” you are into man up and buy your own clothes. If you are short of time go online and buy 20 of each in different colors.
The way you say this is “I’ll be buying my clothes from now on, don’t worry about it.” Your wife is not your mom.
Just don’t wear them. She’ll get the hint. If she asks, just say you’re waiting for the appropriate occasion [which is never]. Compliment her on any gift she gives you that you really like.
I agree that it’s better to just suck it up this one time, never wear the damn stuff (and if she asks then say that you’re waiting for the right occasion like John Mace said), and next time gift-giving comes around, really stress some specific clothing that you WOULD like to receive.
“Honey, stop trying to turn me into something I’m not. Buying me young, cool clothing won’t make me any younger or cooler.”
An excerpt from an actual conversation I had with my wife. There were a few tears, but since then, we shop for any6thing more expensive than a T-shirt together.
Why don’t people just talk? First time out of the gate, “This isn’t me. I don’t like it. But I love you.” (Just don’t do it again.)
In fact, if people did talk, honestly, less mistakes would be made from not knowing. Mystery is for mystics. Understanding comes from listening. “Coy” is fish(y).
My mother keeps trying to buy me the kind of clothes she thinks she’d wear if she was my age and size (we do not like the same colors, cuts or prints - other than that sure, she can buy me anything… as long as it’s panties and they’re my size, lace-free and bows-free). The first time she told me something was “youthful-looking”, I said “ok, guess that means you just called me old… and I refuse to be one of those old women who try to dress like they’re their own daughters!”
It was the last time she tried that particular tack. And any time a store attendant tries it, that particular piece goes to the “discards” pile as soon as I can move it there without hitting anybody. I’m my age, I don’t need to look like anybody else’s age.
The “don’t wear stuff” doesn’t work by itself. It took my mother over 30 years and endless repeats of “because I don’t like how I look in it” before she started saying “oh wait, if I buy you something you’ve already said ‘no’ to, it will just die in the wardrobe, won’t it?” “Well, not really, Mom, nowadays there’s the clothes-recicling bins.”
I do buy my own and have too many clothes already. She does it because she thinks she is being nice, but I hate the fact that I don’t need them or like them.
She bought me jeans I hate to wear that are loose up top and tight in the legs, just the opposite of what I can wear, and that was $100 down the drain.
Even after that she buys me shirts I would never wear that are way overpriced IMO.
I give her money to go shop with her friends and she buys me stuff not her. Nice, except its a waste of money. Then I have to hear how I never like anything she buys me, blah, blah blah. Well, why do you keep doing it.
She bought me a sweat jacket when I have three, and it is a US Navy emblem, but I was in the US Army. That matters to me. Another $50 down the drain.
If only it was as easy as just talking about it. Woman, most anyway, still will hold a grudge. It’s their nature. You think they understand, then BOOM, one year later they will bring it up in an argument.
Coming in late to an old thread. But this is the idea I like:
Suck it up and go shopping with her for the specific purpose of buying you clothes. You can pick out clothes you like and get her opinions on them (she may hate the kind of things you’ve been buying for yourself). And she can pick out clothes for you and you can tell her if you don’t like them. You’re in a store and the clothes haven’t been purchased so there’s no emotional involvement. Hopefully by the end of the day, you will have found clothes you both like on you. And you’ll both have a better awareness of the other person’s taste, so that if she buys you clothes as gifts in the future she’ll have an idea what you like.
When we were out shopping my wife was always trying to get me to buy clothes that I thought were way too young for me. I would refuse to even try them on and tell her if she ever bought me stuff like that it would go straight in the wardrobe and stay there. She did it once and I never wore the thing.
I guess those shopping trips together worked because after that she never bought me anything I didn’t like.
My advice would be to gently tell her that you don’t feel comfortable in the things she bought you and, as has already been said, arrange to go shopping together.
Failing that, prepare to look like a dork next year as well!
Mr. Kiz and I have an agreement: Don’t buy each other clothing unless the clothing is specified. Not “Gee, honey, I could use a new X” but “You know what I’d like? I need a new jacket, similar to the one I’m currently wearing and will retire when I have a new one.” Or “You can get me some pants as close as possible to X if not X.”
I’m more successful at buying him clothing than he is buying me something. I have to get very specific if I want something, whereas if he isn’t specific, I can usually (successfully) pick out something he’ll like. This cracks me up because I’m generally the world’s worst clothes shopper.
Share your pain. My mother lives in the Southwest, I live in the east. The clothes she buys me are cute for casual wear to a BBQ there, but would rate funny looks here.
What a cute little stereotype you’ve got there. You’re dating the wrong women.
Sneaky subtle stuff is cute in the movies, and rarely gets you anywhere in real life. Say what you mean, so nobody misinterprets what you’re getting at. If you don’t like receiving clothes as gifts at all, say so. If it’s just those specific styles that are way off, say so. You don’t have to be an ass about it to be direct. I don’t know why people conflate “being honest and clear” with “being a dick.” It’s not hard to be one without the other.