Correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m seriously doubting that the girls who respond with “Oh my God, are you kidding?” when I tell them that I’m 22 (and not 16), are actually thinking “Ooh, I’m instantly more attracted to him now that I know he’s my age!”
I don’t know how much longer I can keep up with the shit-eating grin and the laughing and the “I get that ALL the time!” reply. Though I guess walking around with a constant scowl might make me look a bit older.
It gets better. People often don’t believe that I am 43.
Is the problem “seventeen-year-olds shy away when they learn you’re not near their age” or more “22-year-olds don’t take you seriously”?
As someone who looks much younger than they are (26 by most accounts…actual age 34), it depends. Adult women generally don’t want a guy who looks like a kid, but if you look like a young adult, you’ll be more approachable than someone who looks older.
In general, it’s better to look younger than you are because you’ll look older eventually anyway.
The latter.
What is it about your face that makes you look young? A friend of mine had a chin that was kind of pointy and elfin - he grew a beard and it aged him about 10 years (in a good way).
It depends on what the age is that he looks like. Maybe you could dress a bit more maturely. That could help. How do you dress? Do your clothes fit, or do you wear them too large? I ask because too-large clothes seem to be a common really-young-guy style, not because I’m trying to insinuate that you dress like a kid. Growing a beard is a good suggestion, but not all guys can grow a decent beard. Is it just your face that looks young, or your whole demeanor?
My clothes fit. I dunno, maybe it’s my chin. But I can’t grow facial hair. It takes me about 2 weeks just to grow something in the “goatee region” that is visible, but it makes me look skeevy, and I don’t think there’s any medical way for me to force the hair to grow in thicker.
Just say, “I’m remarkably well preserved.” Let others decide what to make of that. By the way, later in your life, when a lady tells you her age, it’s good to act surprised and say, “Well, you’re remarkably well preserved.”
I had a feeling that was the case. I think you just may be stuck. I still don’t look my age yet–everyone thinks I’m twenty-two or so when I’m really six years older. I’m female, though, so that’s apparently a good thing. :rolleyes:
It is driving me crazy. Mr SCL turned 50 in March and doesn’t look it at all. I’m 46 and pretty much look my age. If you click on this link and check out the third picture from the bottom - tell me if the guy in the brown leather jacket seated next to the redhead looks 50. I swear the man has a picture in the attic.
Hey, I get guessed at 6-12 years younger than I am; I’ve had coworkers in their '60s who looked older than my grandparents did (the oldsters were in their late 80s back then). Never gave it much thought to how it affects me on other people… I don’t like it when people try to dress over-young or over-old, but then, I don’t like it when people of any age wear fuchsia capris either.
I might be worried about the health of someone who looks a lot older than his biological years, taking it as indication that “something’s not right.” But being a “baby faced early-20s”? Nothing special 'bout that, half my college classmates could have passed for high school with a T-shirt a bit too loose on…
My other grandmother hated that, she looked younger than her years but not as much as the aforementioned oldsters so she got it a lot. Said it made her feel like a can of tomato sauce.
I like Margo Channing’s comment (Bette Davis in All About Eve.)
If you really want to look “older”–think about wearing something other than t-shirts & jeans. But the ladies might just be pleased that you aren’t jail bait.
Pfuh. You have no idea yet. I’m 29 and always get carded when I buy alcohol (age limit 20 here). People usually assume I’m in my late teens. When I tell them my age, their mouths hang open for seconds before they compose themselves. No-one believes I’ve been working for eight years.
Now I’m picturing the OP showing interested women his ID for proof of age. Either that, or wearing one of those fluorescent bracelets some bars and casinos give you to indicate that you really are of age and shouldn’t be thrown out.
Speaking as one who always has to wear those.
I’m 48, but I still look thirty-something. When I moved to the States, I was 39, and one of the first things that happened to me was that I got carded at the supermarket buying tobacco. I had a kid at work tell me one time, after he found out my age, “Wow! I had no idea you were so old!” Thanks, kid. My wife likes it that I don’t look my age. I’ve met other couples with an age difference of quite a few years where the husband looks like his wife’s dad. That’s kinda skeevy, if you ask me.
My boss is eight years younger than me, but he looks ten years older. My youngest brother looks older than me now. Maybe it’s the losing-the-hair thing. I’ve still got all of mine, and no wrinkles. I guess some of us are just lucky!
It’s undoubtedly small consolation to the OP that in 30 years, he’ll be glad he looks a good bit younger than his age. 30 years is a long time to wait for a payoff when you want women to take you seriously now, or at least within the next year or two, fercryinoutloud.
I transferred into my current branch when I was 49. At someone’s birthday party, I mentioned that my next one was one of those round numbers. The branch secretary looked at me and said, “no way you’re gonna be 40 already!” That was definitely worth a big grin.
The fact that you have women your own age thinking you’re 16 is a definite disadvantage, no doubt about it. But it’s not symmetric – if women immediately knew you were older by looking at you, that by itself wouldn’t make them any more attracted to you.
Far more important is to be comfortable in your own skin. This:
doesn’t speak of someone who is comfortable in their own skin. And women will pick up on it.
Don’t worry about the age thing. That will become an advantage in a few short years, when you’ll look early twenties instead of mid-twenties. But the only way it will matter is if you can focus on becoming someone you honestly think is attractive to both yourself and others. Go to the gym, acquire interesting skills, pick up a sport. All these things will build your confidence and make you an interesting person to talk to.
[/hijack] Noooooo! Never say that to a lady. “Well-preserved” is the ultimate back-handed compliment. It emphasizes the fact that the person is indeed old*. If you must engage in false flattery, just tell her that she looks young, or say you’d never have guessed, or something, anything, but “well-preserved”. Ugh.
From a young-looking (I’m told) 46-year old.
[/end hijack]
*IMO there is nothing unpleasant about looking old or being old. The phrase in question just brings to mind the opposite of what it is trying to convey.
I’m in the same 21 going on 17 boat, and dating younger is really the only option. When life hands you lemons, make sweet underage* lemonade.
*Drinking-wise.
“Well-preserved indeed! Why, I feel all thin, sort of stretched, if you know what I mean: like butter that has been scraped over too much bread.”