Might not be exactly what you want, since it’s not exactly poking fun at our language, but here is a video of someone speaking in ‘Fake English’. So you can see how foreigners percieve the sounds we make
His fake English kind of sounds like Dutch to me, for some reason. Then again, whenever I hear Dutch, it sounds like something I can almost understand, but not quite.
That guy actually SPEAKS English – I call shenanigans. I want to hear someone who speaks no English at all doing the equivalent of someone who doesn’t speak Chinese saying “ching chong bing bong ping pong”.
Broken for a lot of profanity. Pay attention to where they put the accents on the words, this is a (very overdone) American accent on Japanese. I think they also have one of these for French and maybe German. Granted, these guys do speak English (to my knowledge), but since it’s a comedy routine I doubt they’re pulling their punches.
Edit: I realize this isn’t exactly what the OP is looking for, it’s not “fake English,” but I think it gives a good perception of what they think we sound like.
He speaks English but it’s not his first language. I learnt French when I was younger but I could still make an attempt at the stereotypical French accent, in fact I’d say knowing the language a bit actually makes it easier to do a good “racist jerk impersonation”. That guy’s impersonation was pretty good - he sounded English, it took me a few seconds to realize he wasn’t actually saying any words! He used a lot of wide, open vowels and words ending abruptly with “-t” and “-s”.
A few years ago I met a young cousin (age 6) whose only language was German. After listening in on a conversation between me and my wife (both speaking American English) he turned to his mother, greatly amused, and began imitating us with a very nasal “wah-wah-wah,” not unlike the adults in Peanuts.
Usually when an American (as opposed to English or Australian) is mimicked , one usually stretches all the sounds, rolls the vowels and R’s and speaks very slowly (and usually portrays a cowboy). Most aussies do this and I have seen foreigners do it as well… You have to note that a lot of foreigners know bits of english (from movies at least), so they will use that as material.
" Hoooowwzziitt goowwyynnn paarrrddnnhhherr!! You AAAzziissss speeaaakk sooo faaannyy!! Not like aasss AAAmerrriiKKanss!! (and for added authenticity… Yeeeehaaa)"
Oh shit… I just typed a whole page of pronunciations and accidentally exited the window… Anyway, I was going to say, that I should have said empresise the R, rather than roll… like in car: US: kaR, AU: kha, UK: kAr (this typing emphasis is hard)… anyway, American’s DON’T roll R’s, but because they are stronger than the UK/AUS equivalents they seem rolled…
Just as I’ve never seen a Chinese person say ping pong chong in a high pitch, but that’s how they’re mimicked.
It probably depends on the native language of the imitator. When I lived in Brazil, sometimes people would describe English as sounding like a dog fight. Um, I would take that to mean that it sounded very gutteral (maybe like German sounds to a native English speaker?) with lots of R’s.
The R’s really seem to stick out, for some reason.
Actually, you’d think it would be the TH sound that would stick out, but that would be very difficult to imitate.
Victor Borge was the man for this. He did a hilarious ‘United Nations’ conference of gibberish. For German everything is staccato with lots of slushysounds, for French all vowels are ‘eu’ indeterminate and through the nose, for American, O becomes Aw and A becomes an ‘air’ sound and R is sounded at the end of a syllable, Australian and South African just shift vowels up so A becomes E and E becomes Uh and so on (“Claacke with en uh”) but South African is faster and the H more of a gargle - also helps to imagine it spoken in a rage where Australian is just relaxed in the sun. For Dutch, imagine German after gargling with mustard powder dissolved in Tabasco but less of the ‘Sssh’ sounds (Chaucerian English the same). Japanese is a sort of breathy military command that starts loud and runs out of breath. Chinese is like a challenge to a fight, all “Ho ha dzya mo wa shi tya kwa SHA! (so there!)”
