How do people's opinions about homosexuality change?

In My Humble Opinion
21

Full immersion therapy.

Homosexuals have often been portrayed like a punchline in popular culture and I think that’s what informed my opinion the most, because it wasn’t really discussed anywhere else. When I was a kid (80’s), much like everybody else in school, I routinely threw around “gay” and “fag” as an epithet, using them the same way I would use “lame” or “sucks,” though I didn’t truly have any hatred towards homosexuals, neither did I have any empathy for them. I never even knew any. Or so I thought.

When I was a senior in high school, my brother, nine years my senior, came out to me, not long after he told the rest of the family. Even ours is a family “from the heartland (WI),” we were all fairly “okay with it” to varying degrees. But even though I didn’t love my brother any less because of his sexuality, I still didn’t really understand what it meant and what it didn’t. Fast-forward one year.

After my first year of art school, I moved back home for the summer and was looking for a temporary art-related job for the summer to no avail. Having previously mentioned this to my brother, he had proposed I work for a friend of his who had need of some low-level graphic art help. The thing is, they all live in Seattle and I obviously needed to move out there for the summer. While it was a decently-paid temporary job for 19-year old, it wasn’t enough to afford to be able to afford decent rent, groceries, living expenses and the like for the duration. Part of the offer was that my brother’s friend also lent out rooms in his house and I could stay in one of the rooms for super cheap. But as you might guess, this boiled down to living in an unfamiliar city in a household of gay men. I was up for it, but I was nervous. My brother had to assure me (and our parents) that I would not be sexually assaulted, because there were still parts of us that equated “homosexuals” with “predators” to some degree. So after assurances from my brother, I was off to Seattle.

It honestly didn’t take long after living with these guys and spending time with them that homosexuals are just like heterosexuals (with the one obvious exception). They were really normal. I commented one time that they behave just like straight guys do, except that instead of talking about a cute girl, for instance, it was a cute guy. Living with them really cemented that these are people, that have the same emotions, hang-ups, challenges, work problems, frustrations as everybody else. I honestly came to the point where I saw the preference for one gender as no more important than the preference for one hair color or body type. It was a life-changing experience.

After I flew back to the midwest, and on the drive back to the house, my Dad asked, “So how was it?” Knowing full well what I was doing, I said “It was the greatest thing that could have happened to me,” and — devilishly — said nothing else. His demeanor visibly changed, thinking he “had lost another one,” and asked “What do you mean?” With a smile I responded that even though I was “okay” with my brother being gay, it wasn’t until I went out there that I truly understood what a non-issue it was, that homosexuals are just like everybody else and should be treated that way.

In short, it was not totally unlike a version of the 30 Days episode 104: Straight Man in a Gay World.

How do people’s views change on homosexuality? Pressing the issue. Good ambassadorship. Real-world first-hand experience that demonstrates their preconceived notions are mistaken. Time. And while the lost battles are maddening, I’ve never once doubted that the winning this war was anything but inevitable.

22

I grew up in a household where I was taught to distrust homosexuals, but for an unusual reason. I have an uncle who was openly gay, but was also a dispicable human being. He was a drug-dealer/fraud/thief/liar. Every relationship he had was an excuse to steal or otherwise take advantage. He defrauded a large number of elderly people of thier life savings, including his own father.

As a result, as he was the only gay person I ever knew, I associated homosexuality with being a thief. If you told my 17-year-old self someone was gay, I would have been much more concerned about my wallet than my virtue.

As I went to college, then law school, I met many honest, bright and friendly gays and lesbians. That, frankly, is what changed my mind. (I also met some who were evil, slimy, unfriendly, etc. . .)

I think its a general principle - when you stop dealing with stereotypes and get to know people, your view changes, be it different races, cultures religions, etc. Also, an asshole can ruin the reputation of a lot of people.

23

The fastest way to get someones views to change is during an re-election

24

I think exposure has a lot to do with it.

I remember in my 20’s I was hanging out with this group one night. Mostly females and gay men. Now that I think about it, I was the only straight male there.

At the time, I didn’t consider myself a 'phobe. As I was friends with the gay men in that group. That said, I’m a little ashamed to admit I put way too much worth in the stereotypes.

The group I was with that night suggested we go to Oaklawn. (The gay part of Dallas)
I agreed to go. I didn’t say anything at the time but I was very nervous about the whole idea. I was absolutely convinced the gay men would be smothering me left and right once I got there.

How stupid of me. We went and no “smothering” occurred. Not even in the men’s restroom!

Heck! A female friend of mine and me stepped up to the bar at the same time. When we stepped up, the bartender had his back to us and did not know we were there yet.

I jokingly leaned over to my female friend and whispered in her ear: “Hey watch this. I’ll betcha he’ll serve me before he serves you.”

Well, the bartender turned around and he did NOT serve me first! :mad: :slight_smile:

I mean, I know I went there not wanting to be smothered but at least acknowledge my existence guys. Jeesh!

25

I’ve grown to be accepting of LGBT folk.

I grew up in the 60-70s, and anti-gay attitudes were pretty common. It didn’t help that a neighbor (male, late teens) tried to seduce me and another neighborhood boy. Further, I was bullied a lot in school, and I think getting bullied made me want to find someone I could bully. (kind of like how child abusers were often abused themselves). I think it was more a case of him being a teenager with raging hormones than a pedophile though. He actually sent me a facebook message a while back. Did he really think I had forgotten that? Maybe he just wanted me to see he was married to a woman and had kids. But I digress. College didn’t help. There was serious stall crawling or whatever it is called that Sen. WideStance was doing happening in the bathroom of the building where I needed to spend most of my time on campus. Sorry, I came here for a BM, not a BJ, and as soon as I get my BS, I’ll no longer be defecating in your cruising bar. The AIDS epidemic hadn’t really kicked in outside San Francisco at that point, and it was a pretty active scene from what I saw while trying not to see.

When I graduated I ended up working with a very personable and very out gay man, and another pretty obvious pre-op transgender. As others have said, actually getting to know people stopped them from being “disgusting other” to being people with good points to go with the bad, and hopes and dreams not so different from my own. I am sometimes mistaken for a “bear”. I’m old enough now that I don’t get hit on anymore, (and it was never often) but the last couple of times I was able to say “I’m flattered, but straight…” and mean it.

26

Shakes,

Maybe you were giving straight-guy-visiting-gay-place-for-the-first-time-and-afraid-to-be-smothered vibes.
I forgot to add in the OP: If homosexuals have seen an individual reaction/treatment of them change, I’d be quite interested in knowing how it occured.

27

I think part of the process is a natural consequence of gay people living openly and honestly. Because every single gay person who comes out has a family, friends and co-workers who now no longer get to thing “Those horrible homos are disgusting”, they have to think “This person, whom I like, or even love, is one of those disgusting homes. Can I still still like/love him/her?”. For most people, to the credit of the human race, the answer is “yes”. And once homosexuality is no an abstract, but actually embodied in someone close to them, most people come around.

28

For me, it was school in the 1980s. I was brought up in a very right-wing home, though patrician rather than authoritarian. My father was busy in local politics and Margaret Thatcher was the Divine Margaret etc. But at school I studied Latin and Greek, read Greek and Roman philosophy, and learned about classical culture. That, of course, included classical sexuality and how it differed from ours. And that was it really.

29

Mine’s a pretty minor change, but: I used to merely figure as per the famous Thomas Jefferson quote, that, hey, so long as they’re not picking my pocket or breaking my leg, they can do as they please; makes no difference to me; I don’t mind it being legal so long as it’s not compulsory; and et cetera.

And then came the day – it’s so contrived I’d almost swear I only saw it in a sitcom, but if that’s what happened I nevertheless remember it as if living through it: my fiancée and I were heading in to pick out silver and place settings and the rest of the wedding registry, which means I pointed out in typical-guy fashion that you know, this is all really more your sort of thing, because I don’t much care which ones we get, and, hey, when you get right down to it, wouldn’t the ideal husband-to-be let you pick anything you want?

She insisted, with more than a bit of emotion in her voice, that, no, it’s really important to her that we do it as a couple; it’s the whole point! Don’t you see that?

And so we spent a lot of time shopping together. And as we left, two men were walking in: one wearily pointing out in typical-guy fashion that, look, I don’t really care which stuff you pick out, it’s not really my thing – and the other explaining, in a higher-pitched and emotional voice, that, no, it’s really important to me that we do this together!

And, by God, I sympathized. Or empathized. Or something. I didn’t put myself in his shoes as an intellectual exercise in fair play; I did it because, dammit, how could I not?

30

Generally, Gay people came to be accepted after the AIDS epidemic. In my parents generation they all knew sometime who died from it, it forced them to acknowage thier existance and activities. Over time acknowagement has turned into acceptance.
Also in Australia where I live, the prevention of AIDS campaines resulted in numerous advertisments on the advantages of wearing condoms. These were usually marketed towards the Gay Communitiy. This forced the behaviour to become accepted, acknowaged and in some cases legalised. The same case can be fairly accurately be given for prostitution too.

31

Ha! That’s great! I almost wouldn’t believe it too but that was perfect!

32

Definitely.

Growing up christan, I knew the bible said gay people are bad. I didn’t know a single gay person who was open about their orientation, so they were a nebulous group of people I’d never even met. So I didn’t really give that much thought one way or the other, not any more than the bible also saying that we shouldn’t eat shellfish or wear mixed fibers.

Then I got to college and made friends with some girls who liked girls. And when I was 23 my best guy friend from high school came out (we’re still friends more than half a lifetime later, ftr). And I worked with more gay men and lesbians in my early-to-mid twenties…

Gay people ceased to be this nameless faceless group that I didn’t care about one way or the other. They became some of the people I know and care about. Now what happens to them matters quite a bit to me.

33

Are you sure about that assumption? Most of the homophobic comments I hear are from teenagers and people in their twenties.

34

As I remember the AIDS pandemic, as an American, was the attitude was: “Those fags are getting what they deserve!” (i.e. AIDS was punishment for homosexuality)

35

Pretty much every poll on homosexuality that breaks down the responses by respondent’s age shows that support/acceptance for homosexuality declines as the age of the polled group increases.

Here’s one example: In May 2010, the percentage of respondents that called gay/lesbian relationships “morally acceptable” was 62% for men under 50 and 44% for men over 50. For women under 50, 59%. Over 50, 43%.

36

Stolen from a John Stewart line about tolerance for Muslims, to give credit where credit’s due. I do use it a lot, though. :slight_smile:

37

But homophobic comments often don’t mean underlying homophobia. I hear them also - from people who have no problem at all with gay couples going to the prom. I’d think that this is healthier than the opposite - control of speech while shutting down a prom to keep the gays out.

38

I was going to say this same thing. There is a nice gay couple who lives down the hill from me and they have told me that they get ignorant comments from young people, but most of their retired neighbors don’t seem to care at all.

I had a funny conversation with one of the retired neighbors about them. The retired guy was saying how nice their yard looked and wondered if they were gay because straight guys don’t usually care that much. I told the retired guy that I knew they were gay because I once saw them making love in their hot tub.

The retired guy got totally outraged over this. He thought that I had NO business invading their privacy like that and stomped off in a huff. It might be worth mentioning that retired guy is a white guy in his 70’s who has been married to a black lady for over 40 years.

That being said, I didn’t use to care about gay marriage. I thought that love is all that mattered.

Now that I’m older and wiser, I do care about it a lot. When I get married, I will have the legal right to visit my sweetie if he’s in intensive care because I’m family. Long time G/L couples don’t have that right. If my sweetie dies, his family won’t be able to throw me out of our home and take our property. There are a lot of things that being married will allow me to do that G/L couples can’t. This is wrong.

39

I don’t think I had an opinion one way or the other when I was a kid, but society and Catholic school ‘forced’ one upon me, in that homosexuality was unnatural and wrong and all that guff.

Also my father was a homophobe - he didn’t rant about it on a day to day basis, but if he saw what he perceived to be something ‘gay’ on TV - like men’s gymnastics or something, he’d let rip.

and shows like Queer Eye and Glee ‘humanised’ what had been demonised

(and daymn, but them gay fellas know how to dress up smart and take care of their skin and hair!! :smiley: )

40

This. I read once that we can only hate and fear that which we don’t understand. I suspect that homophobia can’t survive the befriending of a homosexual.