Well, so at 11:30 tonight I finally got back from that great trans-Atlantic flight deal (I was supposed to be back at 5, thanks Continental) and saw what the boyfriend had done to the house in my absence. He sins not out of malice, but out of ignorance.
The newest thing (and we’re talking about just a few hours since I’ve been home, you’ll note) is his attempt to totally destroy my coffee table. He left a Burger King waxed paper cup on a coaster (see, he figured the coaster was magic) probably with some Coke and some ice in it, and left it for - well, I’ve been gone 3 weeks, pick any time lower than that. Those of us with enclosed cupholders know that that waxed paper doesn’t stay watertight forever - there must have been some quantity of spill, maybe a square foot, and everywhere there was a piece of paper - a napkin, a business card, whatever - some of the finish of the table has lifted. The paper is all colored a sort of mottled sepia with whatever it is it pulled up.
No idea what kind of finish it is - it’s a cheapie table from World Market, but all hardwood and weighs a ton. It’s that really dark espresso color, sort of. I quite like it. I haven’t yet cleared it off to see the real extent of the damage - I feel sick thinking about it. (Imagine how I felt when I realized the kitchen garbage I’d thrown out to keep the fridge from spoiling was still there, because he figured since he didn’t throw anything out the trash didn’t need taking out. Or poor Dewey’s litterbox, full of cat shit because he misread the calendar I left. Forget that the house was actually clean when I left - I mean, I’m a slob, the Coke cans he left don’t bother me although I wish he’d at least made a cleaning effort. But you know, I’ve been thinking for the past few days about how great it was going to feel to get back to my own house, and then, bam, cat shit. I am afraid to turn the light on in the fish tank. The thing is, though, he really did try to do what I asked him to - he’s just clueless about houses and things that have to do with things, particularly nice things. My plants, on the other hand, while he let the cat pull the sphagnum from their pots, are doing great - I never remember to water them as often as I had him do it on his calendar!)
So anyway, is there something I can do for the table that’s quick, cheap, and easy? If your first words are “find a good stripper”, or possible “borrow a belt sander”, go elsewhere - it’s okay, I’ll find a doily.