I am/was disorganized as all heck when I was in high school. My backpack resembled the contents of a paper factory explosion. One year, I had to throw out my backpack rather than clean it (though it was over 4 years old by that time, and a Wal-Mart backpack to boot!). Organization and I were on different planes of existence.
Now, I more or less know where everything is. It may look messy, but I can dive into the mess and pull out my syllabus, or a particular article or whatever.
IMNSHO, I think you need to help him develop his own system. Some people are going to be disorganized/messy, and there’s really not much you can do to change that. However, you can get him to know where his assignments are.
If a folder doesn’t work, have him designate a spot in his backpack, or have him stick all of his assignments in the book for the class, and bring all the books home. It’s not exactly ideal, but it’s better than him not turning in his homework.
And, to those of you who’re posting this, it is entirely possible that Ivyboy is NOT ADD or ADHD. Being disorganized and 14 does not automatically give you one of these diagnoses. He might just be a not-organized person; god knows I’m not, and I’m not ADD. I’m not saying that it isn’t possible, but that suggesting it every time a kid has a problem gets a wee bit tiresome (not that any posters have done that, mind you, but it may SEEM as though every time someone brings something like this up, SOMEONE says “ADD”).
Hmm prehaps that last message didn’t come out as I planned. I’ve in a bit of a strop as I’ve recently had a nasty e-mail complaining about my lack of attendence at a meeting I didn’t know about. As I’m rather proud of actually getting my act together, it really annoys me when people think I’m disorganised! I makes me feel like I’m at school again…
Well, Daft, I’m not here to win a popularity contest with my children. Their father and I have the not inconsiderable task of raising two children to be functioning, contributing members of society, and if they curse my name under their breath along the way, more power to them. I have to make sure they are ready to go out on their own and support themselves. That includes knowing how to cook, iron, vacuum, do laundry, and have their workspace organized for when BossMan comes by looking for that report.
One more note, ivylass. You’re right about not trying to win popularity contests. And don’t buy into that “he’s just disorganized” stuff. Organization can definately be taught. It sounds to me like you are on the right track.
I always have several working-lists. Lists of what I need to do in the near future, before the year is over, and in the next year or two. You may also want to make instruction sheets. When you need to do “this”, make sure you have done “that”. I guess I am somewhat obs/com, but I have some “instruction sheets” memorized. Like … OK, I am mailing a response to someone: did I sign it?, did I include everything in the envelope I wanted to send?, did I address it right?, did I return address it right?, do I have the right stamp?. It all sounds a bit crazy I suppose, but I rarely make “silly” mistakes.
It sounds like you’ve definitely got a start to things. My only piece of advice is that if he continues to screw up with the agenda, offer him the chance to make his own system. Give him a week [or other length of time… it doesn’t matter really] to try it out. I was [and still am, to a certain extent] the sort of person who would resist doing it that way because that was the way I was told to do it. So if your son discovers that writing his assignments upside down in pictograms on a post-it note stuck to the front of his sneaker works for him, go with it. But make him prove his system works - check at the end of the trial period that all his work got turned in, and whatever else was supposed to happen happened. Let him know ahead of time that if his system doesn’t work, he needs to use yours… and be enthusiastic about it. ;^)
Again - it may not be a problem at all, and all he needs is a bit of an incentive to be organized - which you’re giving him. But if things don’t get better over the next couple of weeks, it might be worth considering.
Well, he did note everything in his agenda last night, so he’s earned one day off from grounding. I also confirmed his homework is complete and in his homework folder.
I don’t want to bore you with daily updates, and I thank everyone for their advice. If something huge changes I will let you know!
