How Do You Know You're Drunk?

In My Humble Opinion
1

Pretty self explanatory, I think. What symptoms do you exhibit that show you’re beyond the toasty stage, and are flat-out drunk?

Mine is a feeling akin to sticking my finger in an electrical socket that travels up my arms to my shoulder and then hits my head and brain, making me feel like someone has lit a match and stuck it next to an alcohol soaked cotton swab. I realize it sounds unpleasant but it’s not, really. It feels … warm, I guess. I feel content afterward, and don’t have a care in the world. When I feel the percolation and realize what’s coming, I actually smile a little in anticipation of the final wave.

How about you?

2

I dunno… a slight… ummm… I don’t know how to describe it. A slight brain-fog.

3

I don’t talk anymore, except to answer questions.

4

When you can’t focus clearly enough to read the breathalyzer?

5

My brain to mouth filter stops working, but that happens fairly early on. Beyond that, my drunk sensation is consistent until my head spins and I feel like throwing up.

6

You can’t trust your brain, counting is the only way to know for sure.

7

When I feel like my lips are numb, that’s the sign to slow down or stop drinking. The spinning room and throw up feeling are right around the corner.

8

My teeth start to feel funny, almost numb.

9

When I fall through the Memory Hole. This timestamp mismatch has me tripping balls right now, and I have had nary a drop.

10

At some point I will look up and my eyes will focus on something far in the distance. I will get a warm feeling in my back and neck that spreads out to my arms. I will take and deep breath and slowly exhale and it will feel like I’m going falling into a big fuzzy lazy boy of relaxation.

11

I once read that Australian outback cowboys have a saying: “you’re not drunk until you vomit on your shoes.”

12

Can you elaborate here? Do you mean you just can’t, like, count to ten, or something else?

Because I’ve met people who seem at least capable of that while drunk.

13

I think “man I’m drunk!”. Seriously. Before then I’ll know I’m tipsy, but don’t think I’m drunk. Then something will happen at random; a silly stumble, saying a word with the wrong emphasis, or ending a sentence with the word “the”. Then I think “Man I’m drunk!”

14

My teeth feel numb. I’m also a victim to the Asian glow… After about half a drink, my face will be pretty red. I know I’m drunk when the inside of my elbows are red.

Outside of physical symptoms, I usually realise that I’m drunk when I think, “I THINK I could drive… if I concentrated hard enough.” I’m not endorsing drinking & driving; I’m just saying that I know I’m too drunk to drive when that particular thought crosses my mind.

15

My face used to flush too. Now that I’m older that doesn’t happen.

When I start to think I can keep drinking with no ill effects is the first sign.

Thinking everything I say is either hysterically funny or very profound is the 2nd.

16

When I have to hold onto the grass to keep from spinning off of the earth.

17

When I tell people I’m not drunk.

18

That’s not a fog. That’s a brain cloud. Sorry, but there’s no cure. Now… I’d like to hire you to jump into a volcano.

19

I’m pretty sure that’s the coke. :slight_smile:

20

When I start talking to myself out loud.