You light a cigarrette only to realize that one is already lit in the ashtray, with less than one inch consumed.
When I feel those handcuffs click shut.
I turn my head about 45 degrees from an object while keeping my eyes focused on it. Intoxicated people’s eyes automatically want to return front and center so it looks like the object drifts to the side before their brain sends a signal to focus on the object again.
Basically it’s a variation of the horizontal gaze nystagmus test at a DWI stop.
I know I’m drunk when I can’t get the tanker safely through Prince William Sound.
I recently replied to “I have quit drinking” (Mundane Pointless Stuff I Must Share (MPSIMS) - Straight Dope Message Board). I have a tendency at times to drink myself into festive mode at which point I forget to track and control my drinking.
I will then think that I am gregarious and sort of Rodney Dangerfield-ish when in fact I am loud and obnoxious with a giant mega-grin. This doesn’t happen often but, regardless, it’s still too often when it happens.
Too soon, man.
I can usually sense a good glow after one drink which is usually a double. Then it seems to level out for a while and on about my 4th or 5th drink I am starting to slur my words a little and notice my own coordination being off.
Tipsy is when I start getting a brain fog, drunk is when I stand up and my legs don’t work properly.