My sleep quality always feels somewhat less than mediocre, and it takes me awhile to fall asleep. While the first problem may have many possible causes, I know exactly what the cause of the latter problem is. Once I put my book on my nightstand, turn the lights out, and pull up the covers, I absolutely cannot keep a handle on my racing mind. If there’s anything in this universe capable of faster-than-light travel, it is my thoughts while I’m trying to get to sleep.
I think I know why this is, too. Once I turn the lights off and get settled under the covers, there’s a total lack of stimuli. I always read for 15-30 minutes before bed to try to “wind down,” but this has limited success. With nothing to look at, nothing to hear, nothing to smell, nothing to feel, and nothing to taste, my mind fills in the void. Sometimes I replay the day’s events in my head; sometimes I imagine hypothetical conversations with people I know (from imagining what they’d say or how they’d respond to some subject to what they’d likely do in some situation); sometimes I think about events to come in the near future; I think you get the point by now.
I’ve tried counting sheep upward, counting sheep backward, just plain counting, counting intervals of 2, 3, 4, etc., but to no avail. The only reason I seem to fall asleep is because sheer exhaustion overtakes my speeding thoughts. Fortunately, it’s not full-blown insomnia, because I never lose a night’s sleep (or even a significant portion thereof), but it would be nice to not toss and turn and hope sleep overtakes me sooner rather than later.
I tell myself stories. It takes me a half-hour or longer to fall asleep. If I’m not sleepy at all, I’ll take a couple of Benadryl, just to help knock me out.
I try to concentrate on relaxing my body completely and focusing on breathing slowly and deeply. I also think about the dream I had the night before, which often summons a dream-like feeling that I can concentrate on that often leads to sleep. Or I try to bring on the feeling of just-about-to-fall-asleep from what I remember it feeling like before.
I also use a meditation technique (I think it is, anyway - I haven’t delved too deeply into meditation) where you lead your mind back to nothingness whenever you notice it chattering, which is very often and very repetitive in the beginning. In my case, that generally means back to concentrating on breathing and sleepy feelings.
Edit: it doesn’t sound like your thoughts are anxious, but if they are, or just preoccupied with what you plan to do the next day, it helps me a lot to write that all out in a notebook I keep next to my bed.
I picture a gray wall. I may have to remind myself after my mind wanders a couple of times, but if I concentrate on it on just a plain gray wall, my mind shuts off and I can go to sleep. It’s the only thing I’ve ever found to work for me.
I go through the alphabet, mentally saying the first word that comes to mind for each letter. This is boring enough to sometimes put me to sleep, but requires enough mental focus to stop me from thinking of other random things. Sometimes. I’ve tried every trick (except the gray way thing–will try that tonight). I’ve had this problem as long as I can remember. Drives me insane.
Back when I was an orchid enthusiast in the 1970’s, I used to recite the alphabet by way of reciting orchid species: a (I forget now), B = Bletilla, C = Cattleya, D= Dendrobium … etc. There are species (usually several) for every letter. Try doing this backwards: Z = Zygopetalum …
I am still an orchid enthusiast; but I only have two plants now, and my memory is shot!
I’m going to try the gray wall scenario tonight. I have ferocious chatterbrain insomnia + anxiety (my apt. was burglarized 10 days ago; my car was stolen on the Nov. 8th). When the guy upstairs walks around, it sounds JUST LIKE somebody is creeping by my bedroom window, crunching the snow. Brrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
If counting sheep or something similar doesn’t work, imagine yourself in an excellent position. Improbably excellent. You know, a bus full of supermodels stops in front of your house because they need help licking chocolate and cream off their bodies. Or, if that stimulates you too much, imagine a lifelong dream has come true - you are now a famous actor, or you are a CEO, or a bus full of supermodels stops in front of your house because they need help licking chocolate and cream off their bodies. You know, good stuff.
Some of the stuff is actually useful to think through, and I find that I almost have to complete those thoughts before I’m able to rest, or they just keep coming back. So I deal with them first. It’s pre-processing your thoughts before letting the unconscious mind take over and complete their integration.
The conversations and potential events bullshit I find most frustrating. They’re like weeds you have to keep pulling. The best option, which doesn’t always happen, is to catch yourself doing it and choose to set the idea aside.
The general pressure of thoughts is probably the hardest skill to master but the simplest to understand. Let it flow. Don’t embrace it, don’t grasp and think the thoughts, just let it flow like a river of energy, a subterranean (read: almost unconscious) flow of ideas and words. Don’t reach into that river, don’t look at it too hard, just let it flow on of it’s own accord. Instead, actively think and act on relaxing your body and being comfortable. Think about those moments when you awake in the morning, or during a lazy afternoon nap, and everything is perfect, quiet, warm and soft. Work (mentally) on making the Now like those moments.
Get some kind of white noise generator so that you don’t have complete silence in your bedroom - I find that helps a lot. Don’t go to bed if you’re not tired. Sometimes I find that thinking about music helps - not a particular song, just some pointless meandering tune that you make up in your head. Do NOT think about sex! It’s impossible to fall asleep while thinking about sex.
I would suggest stopping your reading in bed. For me, reading in bed trained my body to remain awake and alert when in bed, and thus made it difficult to then turn around and try to sleep. You may want to find a nearby place to do just-before-bedtime reading, a nearby chair or something. If you have a small table, you can also enjoy a nightcap of some sort: some chamomile tea or warm milk.
I often dress myself for when I accept my Oscar. Since I don’t act, it isn’t likely to be a required dress in the near future, but I can endlessly tweak it in my mind.
When I’m actually stressed, I take valarian about half an hour before bedtime, which goes a long way to shutting down my brain.