I have a tablet for notes about our house and finances. But a sticky note on the kitchen counter is a great way to let the other know that you took the dog for a walk or whatever.
Beeps and bloops have overcome our lives. I do find it funny that my Wife’s ring tone is howler monkeys. She has a lot of friends
Cell phones are phones. And text. I do make lists for shopping on mine but my wife does not. She wouldn’t look at it.
I usually shop specifically for meals. I have the makings for egg foo young in the fridge. That’s probably tomorrow. She does more general stuff.
I had a child when I was 37 and I often wonder what I did before I had kids. I barely remember it. Probably a lot of writing. I must have had a vast expanse of time.
I don’t generally try to save time, but one thing that helps reduce the burden of housework is to do regular maintenance tasks. For example loading the dishwasher every night and putting it away every morning.
Author Dana White calls it dishes math.
She used to think it took hours to do the dishes and so she would never want to do them two days in a row. But once she realized if you do them every day it doesn’t take hours and hours, she was a convert.
I also ruthlessly purge useless and unwanted things from my home so that I can tidy up a space in about five minutes. The less stuff you have, faster you can clean.
We do that. We also have a stackable washer/dryer in our master bath. I can take off my clothes and put them directly in the washer. I bet we run it every day. We’re never behind on our laundry. And the small loads don’t take long to fold and put away. (and we never even have to leave the master bedroom)
I’ve always felt parents exaggerate how much time it takes care of a kid. For the most part it doesn’t seem much harder than keeping a house plant alive.
As mentioned many times, I’m child-free. Now that I’m old enough to look like a grandpa I enjoy seeing parents herding their horde of kidlets here and there. And commenting to the parents in a knowing tone of voice: “They don’t keep you busy, do they?” The answers are always friendly, but often rueful. And invariably amount to “Why yes; they do utterly dominate our every waking second.”
Got to do that twice just tonight while stopping for a snack at an ice cream shop. One couple herding 3 girls aged ~6, 8, & 10 and another couple with 3 boys ages ~2, 4, & 6. Whole lotta seething going on.
For my part, when I was younger and my late wife was still with us, my response to questions about my family was always: “No kids, no pets, no houseplants. If it eats, it’s too much trouble!”
So yeah, kids and houseplants are about the same effort. NOT!
I’m thinking the boys have to be the worst, but you never know.
My next door neighbours on one side are a fine and quiet pair of grandparents. But it’s absolute bedlam over there when some of the extended family come to visit – who for some reason often stay for weeks at a time!
On one noisy occasion I looked out the window and saw a 6-something-year-old hellion running around screeching, and I thought, ah, so that was the noise. But then to my horror, another one appeared, and then to my final despair, yet a third hellion of about the same age.
These have plagued me from time to time but fortunately it’s been quiet for months now. But I dread what fearful noises summer may bring, especially in the transition season when windows are open and screeching hellions and badly trained barking dogs dominate the environment.
Back to the topic. I have a terrific technique for saving time in my retired old age:
I find that procrastination and outright ignoring your obligations saves a tremendous amount of time!
It’s not so much that one or the other is “worst”. It’s that you have to ferry them to and from school and their various activities (or pay someone to do it).
I mostly just block off every activity in my work and personal calendar. That includes time spent in transit.
That way I can just look at my calendar and see where I need to be at any given time and no one schedules meetings with me when I don’t want to speak with them
I leave early to get to places and events. Whoa, how does that save time? No stress, no hurrying, no bad. decisions like speeding. I run Google maps even for known routes; helps to see traffic snarls, delays, and alternate routes.
That doesn’t bode well for my kid. I’ve managed to keep him alive for six years, but the houseplants have been less fortunate.
I can’t speculate about what the average parent experiences. What I can tell you for sure is that I want more free time than I have. I don’t want more free time than I want a child, though, so it’s kind of a moot point. It does usually become less time-consuming as they get older. Although, if mine could not require therapy three nights a week, that would be great. Technically this year is logistically harder than last year. I am exhausted. But next year promises to be easier.
My life before having a kid was pretty well balanced between free time and productive time and now I feel like the kid takes up most of the time and the productivity and free time just have to fit in the cracks whenever possible.
There’s also like an overhead tax. There’s the time you have to physically take care of the child and then there’s all the time you have to spend thinking about what’s best for him and talking about it ad nauseam with your partner. I call this the de minimus time expense of parenthood. It’s higher for a child with autism. There are entire days that just vanish. Yesterday was a good example. Started the day with a three-hour IEP meeting with the school, followed by conversation in car with husband about said meeting, got home just in time to go pick child up and take him to therapy. Total productivity time: 2 hours.
Just kidding, you think I did anything productive with the only two hours I had to myself yesterday?
I plan to make any stops/chores after school on the way home as opposed to coming home and then dragging myself out again. I also plan them so that I’m able to take the most efficient time/distance route possible.
It took me forever to find time blocking useful, but it finally clicked when I started using Trello. I can create a Trello task and then drag and drop it into the time block planner, which is integrated with my Outlook calendar.
I don’t know if I’m getting more done per se, but I’m having less anxiety about it because it allows me to clearly see that I have time to do all the stuff on my list. It also helps when I’m feeling lost and thinking “what now?” I schedule specific tasks and then blocks of uncommitted time to just do whatever admin needs doing that day. The regular uncommitted time gives me a sense of freedom even when I have committed tasks.
NOT!
