PSA: With a foster child, you may actually not be *allowed *to put them to sleep on their stomach, at least without a doctor’s note. I’ve heard that in NC foster parents can’t share a bedroom with a baby (even thought that’s protective against SIDS), and it wouldn’t surprise me if there was some issue with going against general AAP recommendations for something like this.
So, the crying.
1.) Explore reflux with the doctor. If they don’t ask you if the baby coughs or is hoarse, whether she seems to be distressed by spitting up, whether she cries more when she’s changed (bending the knees up in a supine position can really flare up the reflux) and so forth, probably a good time to explore other doctors. If it’s reflux, there are lifestyle options for controlling it, as well as medications babies seem to tolerate well. General advice in either case is to avoid early solids, as that can exacerbate digestive upset.
2.) If medical conditions don’t seem to be the problem, try the soothing ideas here. Also, taking a baby outside or putting them in water can often calm them when nothing else will.
3.) If that doesn’t work, hold them while they cry and manage your reaction to the crying - make sure your daughter has plenty of support, some time to herself (in a quiet place!), seriously, the earplug suggestion above is genius. And don’t get frantic with the thought that you HAVE to stop the crying. Sometimes babies cry, and all we can do is be there for them through it.
4.) If holding helps, and if it’s allowed, I highly recommend some form of sling, wrap, or Ergo type thing (not the Bjorn as it’s hard on the back and not a terribly comforting position for most babies).
Gripe water is what my mother always used for all (six) of us and her (seventeen) grandchildren have all been given it too. It works like a charm. In fact I still keep a bottle in the house despite having no offspring of my own, and have a drop if I’m feeling a little odd in the stomach. It’s great stuff, and tastes wonderful! Checking the bottle, the main ingredients are dill seed oil and sodium hydrogen carbonate: a carminative and an antacid, so whether it’s wind or reflux or a combination of the two, it should help.
Just wondering, how many children have you raised? Because I just had one,but when he got colicky best solution we found was to pick him up and walk around the house while gently rocking him at he same time. Didn’t do much good to our sleep patterns, but it sure seemed to alleviate his symptoms – to the point where he’d fall asleep in our arms.
Though there were a couple of times that when truly desperate, putting him in his car seat and driving around aimlessly at 2/3 AM did the the trick as well.
I just remembered: if your daughter suspects it might actually be reflux, and if the baby seems most uncomfortable just after eating, she could try taking a phone video of the baby after a feed and showing that to the paediatrician. My brother did that, when they had no clue what was wrong with my nephew, and the doctor took one look and said ‘Looks like reflux.’ There was a bunch of other stuff involved in actually making the diagnosis (I don’t remember the details), but that was what put them on the right track.
I think there’s some extra-thick formula that helps reflux babies (doesn’t come back up as easily?). Again, everything I know is second-hand, but for what it’s worth…
That’s an excellent idea for all sorts of medical issues, but especially with babies who can’t possibly be acting - if the baby’s fine when you get to the dr then it’d be so helpful to show the dr what she’s like at other times.
I used to put a warm (not hot) wheat bag or hot water bottle on my lap, lengthwise along my legs, and then put the baby, tummy down, across it. Her torso was fully supported and she could rest her cheek on my leg, and her legs could dangle down a little. I’d then pat and rub her back. This seemed to give her relief and would calm her down, and would give my back and arms a break.
This was my Mum’s favourite remedy; my Grandmother’s trick involved a few drops of brandy. Needless to say, I stuck with my mother’s advice.