How do you think I should have felt about this?

[kambuckta]

@Ambivalid

…

I was visiting a business establishment yesterday and in order to get to the front door, I had to travel along a short sidewalk in front of the business. As I had just started out, I saw a guy who I had seen come out of the business as I was pulling in. He saw me as I passed by on the sidewalk and yelled out “Do you need a hand there?” I tried to be as emphatic as possible while remaining polite. I shook my head and waved my arms in a criss-cross “no” as well as said “No, thank you.” Well that should be adequate, right? No, this guy shut his car door and started jogging towards the door (the door that I was only a few feet from).

Goddamn it, I thought. Why does this shit happen? I told him I didn’t need help with the door as clearly and firmly as possible. It didn’t faze him at all. As i saw him approaching the door, I repeated myself, only quite a bit louder and more urgently. “I said no man, I don’t need help! No, stop, please!” His amazing response: “Well, I gonna give it to you anyway.” :eek:

At this point he had made it to the door and I stopped just in front of him. “I just want to make it perfectly clear that you are not doing this for me. You are not interested in making any aspect of my life easier. I told you repeatedly that I did not want or need your assistance, yet you continued. You are only doing this to make yourself feel good about yourself. It’s not me you’re doing this for, it’s you.” At that point I just wheeled thru the door and that was it.

^^ Dated 02/07/2017

@Ambivalid

To be clear, I am not asking for advice or guidance, I would just like to share this experience and get honest opinions about how it would make you feel if you were in my shoes.

A while back I was wheeling down the sidewalk that served as the path to the entryway to the establishment i was preparing to enter. Since the handicap parking spot was at the far end of this walkway (to coincide with the cut curb) i had to traverse the entire length of the sidewalk in order to get to the door.

Well just after i began to wheel myself down this little sidewalk, a gentleman who had already come out of the establishment and was halfway into his car to leave noticed me. Predictably, he asked me if i needed help with the door.

Being very very experienced with these offers i knew that i needed to communicate my needs extremely clearly and emphatically and perhaps a bit repetitely as well. If i didnt, many times my wishes would go unseen or interpreted as something other than what they meant on their face.

So i emphatically said “no thank you” while waving my arms in a “no” gesture and vigourously shaking my head. I even shouted “its actually easier for me if you dont.” I dont think i could have communicated myself any more clearly. How did this man respond? “Well, im gonna get it for you anyway.” And he rushed to get to the door before me.

I was shocked but unfortunately not surprised. I just continued on my way towards the door and stopped right in front of it and addressed him calmly. I said " Im going to go thru this door but i want to be clear, you did not do this for me. You did not do this to make my day any easier. You did this for yourself, to make yourself feel better, at my expense. So lets just be clear whats happening here." And i just went inside and went on with my day.

^^ Current thread.

Were these the same event Ambivalid? Because they sound identical to me…