Cost, process, etc.
First hit on google: http://www.uspto.gov/web/patents/howtopat.htm
Second hit on google: http://www.uspto.gov/web/offices/com/iip/
IIRC the literal requirement is that you send an application with a fee to the United States Patent and Trademark Office. The application has to be written in a certain way, most importantly including “claims”. A claim is a description of exactly what technology you want to protect or claim as your own, and you might think of it as like the part of a deed that describes the boundary of a property. Each claim must build upon or be supported by text that proceeds the claims and explains the invention. Claims may also build upon prior claims, as in “Claim 2: The device of Claim 1, in which the handle is more specifically made of plastic.” Oh, and for some reason each claim must be written as one single sentence. The patent also has to state who the inventor is, and a few other things. Typically the patent further explains background, gives examples of the best working versions known (the “preferred embodiments”), and often provides other teachings.
In practice, these applications are written by patent attorneys, who are hired by or for the inventor.
The whole point of the thing is to facilitate a bargain between the inventor and the state. What the state provides is a license to sue anybody else who practices the technology; in other words, the state offers to enforce a compulsory monopoly through the courts, as provided in (I think) Article 8 of the Constitution. What the inventor provides is a public document describing the technology in sufficient detail to allow anybody skilled in the art to practice it in the best ways known to the inventor at the time of the patent application. Note that the inventor could have tried to keep the technology secret forever, and might well succeed in doing so for more than the 20 years of monopoly protection provided by the patent, so the state has an interest in inducing inventors to write patents instead.
So does a patent take a looong time to get?
Do manufacturers begin to mass produce their product well before receiving the actual patent?
I have seen tons of products marked with Pat.Pend. but never with a straight patent number.
From what I have seen in my life Don Lancaster has it right:
http://www.tinaja.com/patnt01.asp
Especially his “case against patents”:
I’ve also worked professionally with patent attorneys. Even at best, they are a huge time and money sink…and there are a lot of scammers about. I’ listed as inventor on a half dozon patents. If it were not required by my employers, I damned sure wouldn’t have bothered…I hate working with patent lawyers…even the cute-as-a-bugs-ear female one. Well maybe not so much her.
Patents tend to use obscure and peculiar language. A transistor, for example, might be discribed as an “amplifying device”, so as to keep someone from copying the invention using vacuum tubes or relays. Until you get used to the form and language, reading patents is pretty exasperating.
IF you are an expert in the field of the patent (don’t even bother otherwise) it is not too hard to learn enough to prosicute it pro-se. This will cost you around $500 in filing fees, and will probably take less of your time than getting a patent attorney to get your invention discribed properly. Online patent searches make it much easier to locate “prior art” (previous, similar inventions, patented or otherwise) which used to be where patent attorneys earned thier keep.
From what I have seen, even with the best of patents, an infringer can outlawyer you if they are well funded and determined. Or they can license your invention, make thier money, and then “forget” to pay the royalties. You can then sue them, and they can then declare bankruptcy, and you can get a judgment from the bankruptcy court that will cover about half what you spent on lawyers. Exactly that happend to a good friend of mine.
You need to realize that there are no “patent police”. Your patent is only a license to litigate. You have to sue, at your own expense, any infringers. AND you must do this if you know of infringment. Knowingly permitting infringment, basically gives everyone “squatters rights”. US customs sometimes helps with stopping import of “pirate” goods, but that is about it.
A few more things:
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There are a lot of rip-off companies out there that claim to help you get a patent. Avoid them like the plague.
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A patent only gives you the right to sue someone. That’s it.
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A patent will probably not make you rich. Quite the contrary… IMO there’s a much greater chance that you’ll lose more money in the process of getting the patent than the monetary benefit you will receive from holding the patent.
Kevbo:
Being an electronics geek, I’m also a big fan of Don Lancaster. 
And he’s right… getting a patent very very rarely leads to a “oad of riches.” I mean, I can’t think of one person I know who has “gotten rich” off a patent. Yet most people have the notion that patent = $$. Well, it does, but only for the lawyers. 
IMO, a lone inventor working from his garage would be wise to stay far far away from the patent system, regardless of how good he thinks his invention is.
Hiring a patent attorney to file a pattent costs about 10,000 to 15,000.
The suggestions above are all for your run-of-the-mill ideas. If you want a patent on a really, really big idea, I handle them. Just send me your idea in a double-selaed envelope to SDMB and have them forward it to me.
I was with you up to here… I’m not aware of a patent prosecuted pro se that could ever be successfully litigated (except maybe patents written by patent attorney inventors). There are a lot of pitfalls that you won’t see in Patents for Dummies. Generally speaking, pro se applications, if they issue at all, are crap. Plus people accidentally let them go abandoned all the time (for example by not looking carefully at the instructions on deadlines for response to a final rejection).
Also, as a patent attorney, it’s not uncommon for me to not do a prior art search at all. It depends a lot on the nature of the invention and the familiarity of the inventor with the art. But sometimes it costs more to find prior art than it does to just file the darn thing and let the PTO do the searching.
I used to bend over backwards to help save small inventors money, though. (I’m in-house now, so I don’t have any small clients any more.) I would let them write the thing (after a short lecture on never using words like “always” or “must”), and just write the claims. When office actions came in, I would also have them do the art analysis, and I would just write the argument part. $10-15k is pretty typical for a client who just gives you a disclosure and says go, but I could often get it to a few thousand for a well-written small inventor.
Finally, there is the strategy of filing a provisional application ($150 fee), and trying to get funding for the “real” application (which must be filed within a year after the provisional). This can often be the way to go for small inventors. (My own company buys many patent applications and patents outright, often from individuals.)
The three patents of which I’m a co-holder cost the S-Corp approximately $5K each, which included the search of prior art, legal hoohah, and drawings. Part of the deal on patent infringement is that it may look as though someone has plainly stolen your idea, and they may well have, but if they alter what you patented sufficiently that it’s a spin on your particular mousetrap, proving damages can be dicey.
The three patents of which I am the inventor or co-inventor took varying amounts of time to get through the system. The shortest took two years. The longest took over five years. That’s from submission to the patent office until the final granting of the patent.
Oh, and to echo what’s been said before, it would have been impossible to write the patents without a patent attorney.
Ed
if your patent is serious about making money you do need a patent attourney to write it. I am currently advising in a technical sense on a patent battle. My client is trying to beat down a poorly written (though essentially correct patent). One wrong word or sentence may either invalidate your patent due to prior art (or just as likely allow someone’s else to be valid when it shouldnt be). The patents use a lot of words like “obvious” that may not quite mean what you think it should. One company I helped develop had to fight 3 court battles over the meaning of english sentence rather than the science. We won, though probably closer than it should be. I should say that the company still hasnt made money after 15 years though still raising venture capital.
Your best bet to make a bit of money is to take your idea to a big company and license it - though many people still get ripped off here.