My friend’s 4-year old son is a joy. However, it is nearly impossible to understand a thing he says. I don’t speak small-childese, so I am not sure if it is because I am not around kids on a regular basis, or if there really is something wrong with his speech patterns. To me, he just seems…I dunno, delayed somehow in comparison to other 4-year olds I have had exposure to.
You can tell HE knows what he is trying to say, but I swear I can’t figure it out for the life of me. Is it me? I am around the child fairly often. I’m thinking I just don’t have “the ear” for kidspeak?
Just curious, I am sure there has to be s speech specialist out there somewhere.
By three years of age, I was told, about 80 to 90% of what a child says should be intelligible – that is, should be understood both by people who know them and people who don’t. However, certain sounds can remain difficult, usually without any real problem in understanding what they say.
Can you pinpoint what it is that makes him hard to understand?
He seems like he’s struggling to put together sentences. It sounds like he’s flip-flopping his t’s and p’s (“skaPing” instead of “skating”), his R’s are alomst nonexistant, and it sounds like he is replacing words with just…nonsensical words or weird sounds.
His parents seem to understand, but I think both the parents and child are taking visual cues from each other. When Kid wants something, and the parents really don’t know what he’s asking for, they’ll follow his eye-line to see what he’s looking at. Or ask him to “show me.” The only phrases that are truly intelligible are “Where you going?” “What happened?” and “Ummmmm…insert parental person here”
I am wondering if it’s a hearing issue. Or if he has some kind of speech development problem. It’s none of my business of course, since I am not at all qualified to even be MAKING such statements, but I was just wondering for my own edification, I guess.
Sounds a lot like MiniWhatsit around age 3ish, who did have a mild speech delay caused by chronic ear fluid during her toddler years. (She’s fine now.) If you’re comfortable enough with your friends, you might casually suggest that they consider having her speech evaluated by her pediatrician. We didn’t realize anything was wrong with MiniWhatsit until her preschool teachers told us that they felt she was a bit behind in speech production.
We had a neighbor when I was growing up who had 4 children, about 1 - 2 years apart each. The youngest said nothing except an occasional garbled syllable. Turns out his intelligence was fine, hearing fine, everything in working order. The only problem was he didn’t need more than an occasional syllable to get what he wanted; someone else would always figure out what he was after. Plus he could hardly get a word in edgewise anyway. As soon as the family began insisting that he actually say the words, he began using them just fine. Not saying this is the case in this child, just a possibility.
When my brother was in preschool they called my mom to ask if he had some sort of medical/mental problem with his speech because he didn’t talk.
He didn’t have to - he had a bossy big sister around to interpret for him until then. After that he got better.
My youngest is much the same way. He talks (ALOT) but it is difficult for others to understand him sometimes and his brother will translate or sometimes I do. It isn’t a priority for him because his needs are being met with the level of communication he has. His speaking clears when he is with others.
Reminds me of one of my favourite clean jokes. A family has a child who is developing normally except for never saying a word. Everything checks out okay – the child is just not talking.
Finally around six years of age, the family is having breakfast when suddenly the child clearly says, “I didn’t get any strawberries on my cereal.”
The parents are relieved and overjoyed, but one has the presence of mind to ask, “Why haven’t you said anything before now?”
“Up until now,” the child says in irritation, “everything has been all right.”
The example letters are all hard to say and a speech specialist can teach the kid how to make the sounds. Those letters require a tongue position the kid may not know.
I think there’s just a huge variation in development. My parents have an audio cassette of me clearly reciting full nursery rhymes at my first birthday party. Listening to the tape, you’d think I was a very happy four-year-old.
My niece had some problems with her speech at 3, 3.5 years of age, and my sister enrolled her in “learning school” (that’s just what we call it - I think it’s actually a speech therapy center of some kind) along with the short, 1/2 day regular preschool class. It seems like it’s done her some good - her speech is really good now (she’ll be 5 in February.)
All that said, I’m not certain if it’s the therapists that’s done the most good, or simply the structure of the classroom and being around other adults and kids that’s caused the improvement. (Her mom’s a SAHM, and maybe could have been more proactive with learning activities at home.) The answer’s probably somewhere in the middle.
She’s got a little sister who’s three, and lil’sis’ speech is slightly better than hers was, so maybe the therapy was warranted. 'Course, as the oldest, she didn’t have the benefit of another kid in the house, either. It hasn’t hurt her any, that’s certain, so it can’t hurt to check into - I think they have some sort of assessment tools that will help you determine whether to go ahead with further classes.
I’m only around one four-year-old on a regular basis. I don’t generally enjoy children, but this kid is awesome. Her vocabulary is amazing.
Once, about a week before her fourth birthday, she was flipping through one of her Dora books on the couch, and i was harassing her, ticking her feet and such. She lowered the book, gave me a withering glance, and said, “Excuse me, can I have some privacy so I can concentrate on my reading?”
I backed away slowly and the Mom laughed. She said the little girl had heard that phrase many times before and picked up on it.
Before I married tygre and so was about to be graced with the presence of then-five-year-old L as a stepdaughter, tygre thought it necessary to write a brief “L-to-English” dictionary. Here is part of it:
As you can see, “sk” and “sp” sounds were a problem for L. Often she tried to compensate by throwing in an “s” somewhere else in the word (so spider’s “d” was randomly replaced by “s”, and “spoon” had an “s” thrown in at the end). “Sk” and “sp” were always replaced by “g” and “b” respectively.
In an earlier version of L lingo (“Old L”?), “scary” was “gacy.”
Kids will change their speech patterns depending on the company, their mood, and other such things. The Small One, who turned 3 just ten weeks ago, speaks very clearly when she’s around my wife and I, and speaks clearly when playing with friends. But when folks come over she gets quiet and stops using her words, at least for awhile, or if she gets really excited she’ll sometimes talk gobbledygook.
Your friend’s 4-year-old might not always be that unintelligible.
Some don’t speak clearly at all, and some get frustrated if you don’t understand what they mean right away. They know what they’re trying to say, but they don’t necessarily understand that you’re not plugged into their train of thought.
My mother informs me that I was a very slow talker; I got results by pointing and banging on stuff to indicate what I wanted. Apparently Little Audrey saw no point in bothering with language when I got what I wanted largely without it.
And then one day I got over it and began talking constantly.
However, delayed/garbled speech could also be a sign of hearing or cognitive problems, be they major or minor. Couldn’t hurt to get it checked out.
But I would feel very odd even mentioning this to the kid’s mom unless she and I were VERY good friends indeed. In another year when he’s in kindergarten, any real problems will become evident regardless.
Sometimes it is the child, and sometimes it really is the person listening. My son was a very early talker and for the most part very clear. He said a few words wrong, but his enunciation has always been very good. There are a few older friends of ours, who still can’t seem to understand him. It always amazes me, but then again, I am with him 24/7, so maybe I don’t always pick up on how fast he talks or something.
He is 5 now and in a 4K class with 4 and 5 year olds. There are about 20 kids in his class. I am always around children and can understand all kinds of kidspeak, but there are one or two of them in his class that leave me scratching my head. There are at least 10 kids between his T-Th group and the M-W group that have speech problems. They have a speech therapist come to the classroom once a week, and some of the kids go on a bus to another speech therapy program a few miles away. Those are the more severe cases. One boy is almost 5, and is just saying Mom and Dad. He grunts for most everything else. He is an only child, and probably has some other issues going on though.
I agree that you probably shouldn’t bring it up to the parent. I am sure she is aware. And if not, he will get help in school soon.
My son’s g’friend’s little guy just turned 5. His speech is almost 100% unintelligible, however, he’s in school and attending a speech class now, and is doing somewhat better. I’m really not sure what the problem is. He’s a bright, happy kid, but there is definitely something going on. I’m hoping this will improve quickly. There’s a marked improvement (I’d say I can make out 10% of his words now) just since September, so I think they’re on the right track.