A post was merged into an existing topic: Walker99 Sock Posts, rapid fired 5 posts and a long OP
I started babysitting neighborhood kids when I was eleven and a half. By the time I was 13/14 I had parents picking me up and driving me miles away to babysit. Nobody batted an eye.
But I think it’s why I never wanted kids. I got that all out of my system before I graduated high school.
I had to cross two busy streets to get to my elementary school which was almost a mile away. ** And I often walked alone even though my siblings attended the same school. Once when I was in the first grade I was walking alone and dropped my lunchbox at the corner of Washington Blvd and Clarington (cattycorner from the Thalberg Building). I had one of those old glass lined thermoses and it broke, so I started to cry. A nice lady waiting at the bus stop took pity and gave me a nickel to buy milk at school. I also never had money on me. No allowance so money other than what I’d find on the sidewalk.
** Heh, Google says it was exactly a mile.
As far as laws go - few (if any) states have a bright line rule such as it’s illlegal to leave a child under 14 home alone or that it’s legal to leave a child over 14 home alone and the same goes for walking to a store or to school or a friends house. For the most part laws are written like Illinois Statutes Chapter 705. Courts § 405/2-3. Neglected or abused minor which includes this regarding minors under 14 :
d) any minor under the age of 14 years whose parent or other person responsible for the minor’s welfare leaves the minor without supervision for an unreasonable period of time without regard for the mental or physical health, safety, or welfare of that minor;
and following that is a long list of factors ( 15, including a catchall) to be used to determine whether the minor was left without regard for the mental or physical health, safety, or welfare of that minor or the period of time was unreasonable. *
When I worked in CPS , the NYS registry wouldn’t even accept a report of a child over 7 home alone without additional details - because it matters what “alone” actually means. If the report said an 8 year old was left home alone all day while the parents worked, they would have accepted it for investigation. But not if the 8 year old was left alone for 15 minutes while the parent put a sibling on the school bus stopped in fromt of the house.
About the OP - I asked exactly what alone meant because it matters. There’s a difference between a ten year old walking alone and two or three ten year olds walking without an adult.
I’m not sure that distance matters nearly as much as the streets being traveled on - are they suburban residential streets, small city streets or is the kid walking along ( and maybe crossing) an eight or more lane road ? I grew up a city kid - but I rarely walked more than a couple of blocks alone and I wouldn’t have walked a mile even with friends until high school. Not because I wasn’t allowed to , not because it wasn’t safe - but because there wasn’t any reason to walk more than a mile. I didn’t need to walk even half a mile to get to a convenience store, a pizzeria or a movie theater. Anyplace else I might have wanted to go ( ice rink, mall , beach ) was far enough that I would have taken a bus or train ( almost certainly with friends)
My kids had the same experience as I did. But (and this is important ) we live in NYC which is much safer than It was when I was growing up in the 70s and also still has lots of people , including kids walking on the street. My suburban relatives didn’t have all that much freedom even back in the 70s , mostly because there was no place to go within walking distance, not even a park but also because they lived in the kind of suburb where you never saw anyone walking on the street, not even to get to their car. ( Not all suburbs are like that, but some are)
* And some of those laws/guidelines are weird. I saw a lot of this when I was looking up Georgia
There are no laws regarding the supervision of your kids and DFCS has guidelines that could help parents determine what is best for their child.
According to the Georgia Department of Human Services (DHS), children between the ages of nine and twelve can be left alone for less than two hours and children who are 13 or older can be left alone and perform the role of a babysitter.
So according to their guidelines,a 12 year old can only be left alone for less than two hours - but a 13 year old can not only be left alone for longer, but can be responsible for younger children.
Geez, what the heck? I was babysitting other peoples’ kids at 11!
I walked only about 1/4 mile when I was 9. But I had to cross US Route 1. There was a stop sign.
My mother had severe agoraphobia and she would order clothes from a downtown dept. store (usually Gimbels) and I would be tasked frequently with returning the ones she didn’t want. This meant walking a half mile to the trolley stop and taking it downtown to return her crap. Then home. I was about 10 when this started. When I was 13 I went to the all-academic HS. This involved a bus, changing to the El, then the subway and then a 3 block walk.
Starting at 9 or 10 I rode my bike, alone, to the grocery store / arcade to spend my allowance. It was a mile each way down a fairly busy road. I could have gone farther if I wanted.
The three of us were stopped needing an outside babysitter by the time I was 5 or so. When mom and dad went out, oldest was “in charge,” we’d cook ourselves fish sticks and tater tots, and play video games or Legos or whatever. We were 100% 80s free-range kids.
Fast forward to today. My kid is 8. He can play outside without constant supervision. We are fortunate enough to live in an insulated neighborhood - a loop with one outlet, so only neighborhood cars. But that means isolation. The closest convenience store is 3 miles away on terrain unforgiving to a kid in a bike, let alone walking.
As for leaving him home alone. We probably couldn’t do a date night. A grocery run maybe. Give him Minecraft and he might not even notice we were gone.
Mine was 1.1 miles- and not uphill nor any snow. 
No bus was available. No one thought that was weird, And crime was higher back then.
It seems like just over a mile to school here is pretty common.
Yep- less crime, and the air is cleaner, too.
That’s what I get for taking the info off a lawyer’s website without verifying the actual wording of the law.
ETA: Actually, I should have read on to the second paragraph, but it was written quite authoratatively and without exceptions in the first:
Stupid lawyer writing contradictory garbage.
When I was a kid, I was constrained by “busy streets” - which occur every 1/2 mile. So by age 10, I had pretty free rein to walk or bike in an area of 1/2 mile x 1/2 mile. Grade school was approx 1/2 mile walk, but I was usually with my older sisters, and there was a crossing guard at the busy street.
Between then and 8th grade, all rules were off. I was regularly taking the bus/el, or biking several miles to the lakefront or downtown alone.
When our kids were young we had them walk to and from school - maybe 1/2 mile. One time our oldest was in 3d grade and stayed after for Brownies. The leaders called and said they wouldn’t let her walk home alone. We said we’d send her brother to walk with her, which they were fine with. Her brother was in 1st grade. 
Often they would walk to a friend’s house, and the friend’s mom would not let the walk home alone, but would drive them. 
My daughter has her 10 year old walk or bike alone to school or the library, or to friends’ houses. She has been going to school alone at least the past 2 years. She had to learn how to safely cross the one busier street which lacks any control devices or a crossing guard. She says none of the other kids in the neighborhood walk as far alone. Her pre-K younger sister regularly walks down the block alone to see if her friend is home and wants to play.
Today’s kids are way infantalized.
It’s because we’ll get arrested if we do.
My kid is developmentally behind with this sort of thing so his timeline’s gonna be longer than mine was, but I started staying home alone when I was eight. By the time I was eleven I spent all summer day outside doing whatever the hell I wanted to, with or without friends, a mile or two from home. I grew up in a rural area. After school since my parents worked late I was alone until eleven or twelve at night.
People have gone insane, social norms have changed in a way that (I believe) actively harms kids, but if I want to keep my kid, there’s nothing I can do about it.
When I was twelve I was left at home alone to babysit my two nieces. No phone, and the nearest neighbours were at least a quarter mile away.
My walk (from age 8) was school to home, .9 miles, or school to my parents’ store, 1.0 miles. No issues, including busy streets with no crossing guards (but with traffic lights).
A friend who has kids now pointed out that her kids were old enough to travel on their own, in terms of navigation and risk assessment, FAR before they were old enough to deal with well-meaning busybodies who would approach the children and interrogate them. She witnessed one of these incidents (her older daughter had gone ahead, but was in sight and earshot). An adult pulled their car over, got out, and started peppering the child with questions, which was stressful for the kid.
That was a factor that hadn’t occurred to me, because it wasn’t a thing in my childhood.
Like many replies here, I walked about 0.7 miles to school daily starting from 4th grade. Sometimes with other neighbor kids, sometimes alone if the timing didn’t mesh. We used to regularly make the 1.3 mile trek to the strip mall at a busy intersection with a Ben Franklin and an ice cream shop. And all the usual GenX “We ran feral from 7am to 11pm daily during the summer” stuff.
IIRC, my daughter specifically educated her kid in how to deal with adults she didn’t know, well-meaning or otherwise. Don’t recall exactly what the kid was told to say/do. I’ll ask next time I see them.
Never a parent, but that was eye-opening to me too. Not a problem I’d have thought to prepare my hypothetical 8yo to deal with.
New Zealand seems to agree.
You can leave a child under 14 at home or in another place if you’ve made reasonable provisions to have them supervised and cared for safely, and they’re not left for a long time.
From about age 7, my mum would walk my sister(s) to school and leave me to follow on my own, because even as a young child I was chronically unable to get ready on time. The school was just around the corner though. Country roads, so they were quiet, but no pavement/sidewalk. Maybe a little older than that we were allowed to go to the school on weekends to play in the playground or meet up with friends. We also roamed pretty freely in the wood behind our house. By 10 I was allowed to walk all around the village by myself, though there wasn’t much to walk to.
Age 12 was when kids where allowed to stay home alone or watch siblings for a couple of hours, 14 was the minimum age to be a babysitter. Not sure if anyone still follows those rules.
My daughter is only 5, and hasn’t been anywhere alone so far. My rule is that she can go ahead, eg at the park or when walking from the car too school, but she has to stay in sight. Her school has a rule that kids can’t walk home alone until IIRC year 5, ie ages 9-10. And this seems pretty standard. Another mother was complaining about this rule to me, not because it was too restrictive, but because she didn’t think her perfectly normal 10 year old was ready to cross a somewhat-busy road by himself yet!
Kinda unfortunately, we live in a tiny village, and the only other child her age is non-verbal, so there is no chance of sending her out to play with other kids. On the plus side, it’s very quiet traffic-wise, and there are few busybodies around to complain. I’d be much happier sending her off with another child than completely alone, but that means finding another parent who is happy doing that, and most of them seem pretty risk-averse.
I remember that my brother explained to his kid that, as a child, she’d had to learn to deal with people being rude to her, and that as she got older, she’d have to learn to deal with people being polite to her.
Got home from an overnight trip during which my daughter’s family watched our dog. When we picked the dog up, our SIL said that while his wife worked, he left their 2 daughters (5 and 10) home with the dog while he grocery shopped. The store is maybe a mile from his house. I imagine he was gone no more than 30-45 minutes. He had his phone and the 10-yr old has a watch she could use to text him.
IMO that is exactly the type of progressive loosening up of the reins that a responsible parent does if they want to raise responsible children/adults. And I’m certain that what he did was illegal.
Stranger Danger, FYI is now considered a poor idea. Most abusers are someone they know and trust. And if kids are taught to be afraid of strangers, they will hide if they get lost, etc.