Here’s the scenario. Imagine that instead of elections to decide leaders, we emulated ancient Athens and used sortition to pick our public officials - the same way juries are picked.
Just like jury duty, you can’t get out of it. You get a letter through your door stating that, starting at the beginning of the next term, you must serve as the head of government (President in the United States, Prime Minister in Canada and the U.K., etc.).
How scared should we be?
I hope I wouldn’t do anything terribly terrible, but… I’d have to be diplomatic? Me? That’s like asking Kobe Bryant to become a dwarf.
I should also mention that Jimmy Carter as history’s greatest monster is a reference to one of my favourite Simpsons jokes, more seriously for the U.S.'s crappiest leaders you can sub in the likes of Buchanan, Johnson, Harding.
glad you clarified the Carter reference, as I didn’t get it. Either way, I’m pretty confident in my abilities to be a crappy leader.
I’m too analytically inclined to make a confident decision.
I’d be terrible, just terrible. I’m not very good at getting people to buy into my ideas and go along with what I want. My attempts to be a leader of any kind in my career have amply demonstrated that, even when my ideas are great, I just suck at motivating and organizing people to implement them. I’m not good at confrontation, and I don’t do well at extemporaneous speaking or debate. Also I’m vindictive and I carry grudges, so I’d be tempted to abuse my power in petty ways.
All in all, I shouldn’t really be in charge of much.
I’d sell out so fast, I like money.
If the victor, I would try to run as a technocrat but I’m sure I’d just end up being manipulated by people smarter than me.
I’d be horrible. I have absolutely no tolerance for the “games for games sake” politics at the national level.
If Ted Cruz and the Tea party ever tried to hold the budget hostage on me I’d not only shut down the government, I’d close the ports of entry for cargo and people, suspend FAA ops/ground stop the airlines, stop sending social security checks, turn off the power at the Capitol and make them meet outside on the lawn under a damn tent. AND I’d be on national TV twice a day reminding everyone which party and which individuals are trying to throw out the Constitution and hold them hostage. I’d use terms like “The people of the United States don’t give in to threats and intimidation. Ever.”
I’d make it so bad no party would try it again for fifty years and they’d recall Cruz and every Tea-tard that supported him.
It’s not about winning. It’s about not playing fucking games in the first place. :mad:
Hate that stuff. Hate it so much. And this is the important part, regardless of party. If the D’s try the games, I burn their ass to the ground too.
National Security:
I’d make energy independence the number one national security concern of the US.
Repurpose NASA, give them and DoE 35% of the defense budget and tell them to come up with renewable energy sources (biofuels, solar, wind, hydro) and a distributed power grid.
I’d reform social security:
If you’re physically able to work and can’t get a job? You just got a state job picking up trash by the side of the road (or whatever) at minimum wage.
If you’re on Aid to Dependent Children or WIC? Yeah, you have mandatory Norplant (and whatever is the reversible male equivalent for babydaddy). We have a responsibility to help you, and we will, but you also have a responsibility not to increase our burden. Further, once the child is of school age? It’s time for you to get a jobby-job (or go pick up trash at minimum wage).
I’d let people contribute up to 150k a year in 401Ks. Hell I’d make 401Ks completely transferable.
National health insurance. Done.
Caps on legal damage awards for anything besides criminal gross behavior or negligence. Lawsuits are not a way of life. Done.
Mandatory confiscation of homes, property and assets of persons convicted of financial crimes and mandatory prison time in Pelican Bay or other maximum security prison. Fuck you Goldman-Sachs. Done.
Weed, legalized and taxed like a mofo. Done.
Pain meds, no limit on a Doctors discretion unless a crime has been proven. Done.
Assisted end-of-life at terminal patients discretion. Done.
Term limits at the state and federal level. Say 18 years total in any combination house/senate. One term limits for governors (works well for VA). Done.
Constitutional REQUIREMENT for a balanced budget with a maximum 40% “rainy day fund” unless Congress declares war.
I’d be impeached within hours. 
Regards,
-Bouncer-
Well, I can’t be bought/bribed/pork barreled. I have a stubborn streak when I’m threatened. I have a strong need to see justice carried out to the very end, and I have an old fashioned temper when I’m pissed.
I can’t think of a single elected president who that describes.
I lack tact and patience and am easily irritated. I strongly admire Obama’s patience; if I were in his position I think I’d have considered drone strikes against some of the Republicans by now. :eek:
I checked “By the time I’m finished, they’ll be no-one left to remember” though that’s an exaggeration: I’d probably be able to avoid “pushing the button.”
The worrying part is how many voters think Ted Cruz and the current GOP aren’t extreme enough. They think that they are sellouts.
Like others I would be terrible at allowing business as usual to continue in DC. I would strive towards a balanced budget and get rid of a lot of agencies, which would save the taxpayers a lot of money but cost a lot of government workers their jobs.
I would be ranked right there among Chester A. Arthur or Franklin Pearce, not even up to the notoriety of Millard Fillmore. A footnote to history or a joke category on Jeopardy!
Kill all opposition.
I don’t suffer fools very well, so I expect that by the middle of my term I’d have alienated whatever base of support elected me, and consequently I’d get little done. I’d have no chance in hell of getting re-elected for a second term.
I figure I’d end up in the Franklin Pierce Gallery of Footnote Presidents[sup]TM[/sup]. Altho that would probably be better than ending up in the George W Bush/Barak Obama Hall of Presidents That Most People Ended Up Hating[sup]TM[/sup]. (I’ve never believed in the idea that it’s better to reign in Hell than to serve in Heaven.)
I’d be terrible at public speaking. I can barely come up with anything to say in any speech longer than 30 seconds. And in televised debates I’d be toast.
That being said, my policies would be:
I wouldn’t be the top 5 because I can’t stand people and don’t like to manage them. However, my ultraliberal stances make me historically in tune with what Americans want, and my legacy in terms of laws and precedence will stand the test of time. Eventually, Americans will catch up to what I was promoting and realize how far ahead of the game I was
I’d consider every decision to be a choice between doing nothing and pushing the big red button.
Somewhere between Millard Filmore and Rutherford B Hayes.
The one talent I have that might be helpful is that I can listen to just about any crazy opinion or theory, and sit there and smile and nod in response. Everybody could tell me their plans and I’d just smile and nod. Then I’d go and do whatever I wanted.
