A guy gets into a cab in Boston and asks the driver, “Can I get scrod at the Parker House?” The driver says “Yeah, but you can get laid even cheaper down on Stuart Street”.
Part of the OP answer is that one of THEM is already dead, if it’s been out of water long.
by trout, you don’t perhaps mean a trouser trout?
It all depends on how friendly you are with the person you’re striking.
Wouldn’t want to chum a chum, now would we?
You know for years everyone has been going out of their way to specifically tell me when people are dead. I always try to show the proper respect, but no more. This guy deserved it, no one will miss him.
One part of answering this question is the question of how much force can the Op actually generate without resorting to mechanical tools. Now using advance skills of scientific deduction we know that **Autolycus ** is either a thief or ancient mathematician.
We know thieves rarely develop a high strength but do require a very high dexterity. We have to assume as a thief he will have little combat skill and probably attempt to back stab someone with said trout.
If he was an ancient mathematician we will have to assume that he has no ability to seriously injure anyone but himself with the trout.
Therefore we have to conclude that **Autolycus ** is actually *… wait for it … *
A WITCH
Jim {**Pinkfreud ** that was brilliant.}
Burn him!
I am not a witch! I merely dabble.
Well, she turned me into a newt!
Well, you can blame my girlfriend for that!
If the slappee has a face full of freckles would you use a speckled trout?
Autolycus–why didn’t you consult me, the Zen Master of Wet Trout slapping?
You are disrespectful.
You must be punished.
<SLAPS Autolycus with a Wet Trout>
This is the sound of one Wet Trout slapping, Grasshopper…
Bravo, Mindfield, bravo!
Put you in your plaice did she?
:: slaps you all in the face with a giant trout ::
Ow.
Anybody NOT know the original that Mindfield’s clever post was parodying? I suspect we might have some under-30 computer geeks in the crowd who didn’t grow up with IBM punch cards and never heard of pre-graphic games like Adventure.
I suspected it was taken from “The Hobbit” which is why I asked him if he’d played the game,
Matter of fact I played the game on a Commodore 64, never could finish it and would love to find it on CD. I’ve tried but no luck 
Actually, I had Infocom in mind. Somewhere between Planetfall and Nord and Bert Couldn’t Make Head or Tail of It. I didn’t know The Hobbit was intended to be humerous, though I remember a Spectrum parody called Bored of the Rings.
If only King Arthur was armed with a trout, he could of actually killed the Black Knight, instead of merely inflicting flesh wounds.
“You are indeed brave Sir Knight, but the fight is mine.”
“Had enough?”
“You stupid bastard, you haven’t got any arms left!”
“Course I have.”
“Look!”
“What? It’s just a fish wound.”
On behalf of all fishmongers I have to say:
Fish don’t kill people, people kill people.
Stop the fishmonger hatemongering!