Getting back to the OP for a moment, I think you can find the answer here.
You are a God.
A 10 kg trout swung at 5 m/s… sounds like a hypothesis to me! Any volunteers?
Oh, stop. Demi-god maybe. 
Hold still.
Tell that to Steve Irwin.
“Salmon enchanted evening”
homo sapiens?
And just where do you wear your codpieces? :eek:
On his face obviously. To protect his eyeballs
slaps Ferd Burfel around a bit with a wet Homo sapiens
Mindfield, I think I’m in love. That was bloody marvelous.
Quoth What Exit?:
Hmm, good point. As of the third edition rules, the extra damage done by a rogue’s sneak attack doesn’t depend on the weapon, but only on the rogue’s level. So a sufficiently high-level rogue, even with no strength bonus, could do up to 10d6+1d2 damage with a trout. Except I think that wet trouts probably normally deal subdual damage, not deadly, so the rogue would have to accept a -4 penalty to hit if he wanted to kill.
And the text-adventure snippet clearly had at least some influence from Zork, as evidenced by the grue which is likely to eat the adventurer. He should have gotten one of these from the aquarium in the living room.
There were grues in Wishbringer, as well. Infocom used them as a semi-generic monster. Their games were quite gruesome.
True, but though you may acquire the tool, you lack the expertise. Picking open the chest in such away still damages the jewel encrusted clockwork lure, which will only catch the golden bass if it is attached to your fishing pole’s line and wound before you cast. The damage you do by opening the box in such a manner prevents the lure from being wound.
I’m not prepared to pursue my line of inquiry any longer, as I think this is getting too silly.
Grues were featured in most of the Infocom games. They’d sort of become an out-joke among the game developers.
Apparently you haven’t been to see Edna the Frump. She’s an expert in deftly picking locks with swordfish, and will teach you to open the chest without damage in exchange for a hat made from the sock lint of the Ravenous Dodecapedal Megabunny and a half-eaten stick of peppermint chewing gum. Lacking the knitting skills yourself, you’ll have to pay a visit to The Yodeling Tailor of Buxton-Upon-Twill, who will gladly do the work for you while wailing a startling rendition of Run DMC’s Mary Mary in exchange for James Last’s phone number, which you will find in the men’s bathroom at The Wobbly Badger.
Why thank you m’dear. Give me a tingly feeling in my codpiece, that does.
Hey! What’s all this gaming talk? What happened to all the hot fish-slapping action?
Fish always get gamy after a few days.
Mindfield slaps Wile E in the face with a hot, sexy, very naughty trout
We made Threadspotting? Now that’s fishy if you ask me.
Oh oh, me next!
Yeah, but Tuba apparently didn’t like my suggested tag: “Take that, fish-face!”