GGGRRROOOOAAANNNNN!
That just left me floundering.
Ok, I haven’t read the whole thread, but on the assumption the question has been comprehensively answered now, can I ask:
How hard can I hit someone, other than in the face, with a trout, without them noticing?
Armed only with a trout, how could it best be applied (to an adult human) as a lethal weapon using the minimum of force?
And she wasn’t kidding either, cause in came the biggest, meanest looking haddock I’d ever seen come down the pike.
He was covered with mussels.
He came over to me, he said “Listen, shrimp, don’t you come trollin’ around here.”
What a crab. This guy was steamed. I could see the anchor in his eyes.
I turned to him, I said “A-balone. You’re just bein’ shellfish.”
The haddock hits me with a sucker punch.
I catch him with a left hook. He eels over.
It was a fluke, but there he was, lyin’ on the deck, flat as a mackerel. Kelpless.
(Nod to Kip Adadda, “Wet Dream”)
Ha! I knew once Tuba smelt that bouquet of flounders we’d be a lox for it.
I’m sorry, the trout needs a 24-hour recovery period before engaging in any further steamy fish-on-face action. Please try again later. In the mean time, please enjoy this song.
Fish on my face
And tell me that you love me!
I’ll fish on your face
And tell you I love you too…
Oooh! Yeah, baby! A piscine kiss!
Why hasn’t anyone asked Polycarp?
Rabbi: There is no doubt that the classical tradition is the curse of boils, bats, frogs, the curse of blood, the curse of rats, hail, of beasts, the locust, of course, the death of the first-born, and then, finally, of trouts.
Inspector Pike: Trouts, rabbi?
Rabbi: Yes. The final curse upon the land. To end forever the sleep of man.
This is possibly the funniest thing I’ve ever read on here.
Now why would that help? After all, a bunch of Goldfish hardly compares to one large trout.
snip
That is quite possibly the funniest thing I’ve read in about five years. Thank you.
Alice, Soulfy - Aw, shucks.
blushes a rather fetching shade of salmon
Fetches a rather shady blushing salmon
Smacks Wile E with it
This is one whale of a thread innit?
Yes I know that whales aren’t classed as fish but we’re running out of our porcine friends
Are you flirting with me?
I think he meant that the ocean’s supply of pigs is rapidly dwindling and we, as inhabitants of this planet, should speak up about this horrible environmental atrocity and Save The Ocean’s Pigs!
hops into her GreasePeace boat and heads off to stop a Pig Trawler
Bah, I’ll believe that when Pigs Fly.
I notice the OP says them. So if we get the Mythbusters chicken cannon properly modified we can continue.
Target no 1. John Bolton. We have him sit on a perch and we select a relatively low pressure for testing. Aim for the hanging chad below his nose. You have to be careful you don’t just knock him more walleyed. Test until satisfied with power. Hard to tuna cannon.
Target no.2 Cheney. This is real target. It may be necessary to use canned trout and leave in can. Turn it up high … It is possible he may just keep garring up the missles. Don’t aim at mouth. Aim at chest where heart is on most people. Sending him to the aquarium in the sky will not turn him into an angel. Just whale on him and let the chips fall. (fish and chips).
I have always understood you cannot slay the undead with a mere can of trout.
I think we need something like a harpoon gun for the trout to travel on with of course the wooden harpoon & Trout going through his heart.
Jim
Oh Bugger :smack: :smack:
Wait… I was thinking of a pigfish…c’mon we’ve all heard of it :dubious:
I got your back 
Behold, The Pigfish!
Btw, I’m having you for lunch!