Well, it doesn’t happen frequently enough for me to want to change my habits.
[gratuitous penis size bragging]The problem is, they make urinals too small. For me, it’s like trying to fill a Dixie cup with a firehouse without spilling.[/gpsb]
I have NEVER in my life seen any
and frankly I’m a little freaked out by this.
What kind of childish person doesn’t clean up after him/herself if he/she does dribble? Yuck.
(warning, may disgust some)
If I’m menstruating and I drip some blood on the seat or on the floor I’m sure as hell going to clean it up and not leave it for the rest of the house to see.
I’ve solved this problem through the genius masterstroke of sitting down when I piss. I know - it took a brilliant mind to come up with it.
Ladies do not pee, poop, or have periods. Naturally, you don’t want to leave evidence behind. Real men proudly roll around in the muck like a bunch of marines. That’s the difference. Free your mind from stereotypes, sister, and together we will make an orange commode.
Goes to scrub brain after reading FilmGeek’s spoiler.
:vomiting smilie:
I know, I know. I was warned …
Ug. If I lived with a man who sprayed it everywhere, he’d either have to clean it up or move out. That’s gross. Pee in the shower if you miss the toilet. Then run water.
The Cody is on crutches with a broken foot, has to balance on his good leg to pee, and STILL doesn’t miss.
A firehouse?
Man, that is bragging.
** Phèdre nó Delaunay**… love those novels!
Now back to the urine.
FINALLY, someone injects some REASON into this thread.
Although, I mean, how many times a day are you going to take a shower? Oh, duh. Not pee during a shower, pee INTO the shower. You know, your own personal giant urinal.
I suppose.
NOW you’re catching on!
Public restroom at a university?
Simple. Call maintenance or housekeeping. They clean things. Like pee.
I find that the square, yet curved inside surface of a kitchen sink eliminates any unwanted splashing. Although if you’re going to do any other excreting there, you should have a garbage disposal installed.
And if someone in the house frowns on pissing in the sink, piss out the window. The neighbors don’t care.
Well, some guys just don’t see it. Guys tend not to see dirt of any type, you know. Other guys figure they’ve done their part by not actively pissing on the seat. Other guys are so caught up in their game of “beat the flush” that they never notice that the swirling water is throwing droplets of piss everywhere. I mean, really, who looks at sides of the toilet all that often unless they’re cleaning it? And how many guys actually clean the toilet?
Someday, when we have our dream home, I’m going to have my own bathroom, where no penis ever trespasses. It will be a beautiful place where the seat is always down, the handtowels are always neatly folded, and the toothpaste tube is always capped, where the sink is never full of bristles. Someday.
Well…I always got sprays and split streams when trying to pee. Then I started pissing blood, so I decided that maybe, after a year or so of red pee, that I should go to a doctor or something and ask about it.
So, off I went, to the family doctor, who sent me the eurolo…the pee doctor, and he says “Blood in the urine is never a good thing”, and decides he needs to shove a camera up Mr Happy. Sometimes when they say “You may feel a little discomfort here…”, they really just mean discomfort. This was not one of those times. At this point I realized that I would never make a good spy, because once that camera started going in I realized I would willingly betray my country to make him stop. He kept trying to show me the footage, and I kept telling him to hurry the hell up, I would watch the tivo version later.
At some point he realized that he would not be able to get that camera past whatever was blocking things…not without putting me under, or at least gagging me and strapping me down, so it was off to day surgery. I remember waiting in the pre-op area, and the nurse asking me what they were going to do to me. I could bring myself to say it, so I just said “Something terrible”. She frowned, walked over and looked at my chart, and said “Oh dear…Your right”. Real comforting that one…
Apparently, they ran some kind of roto-rooter thing up there to clear up the scar tissue that was built up. Nobody could tell me why there would be scar tissue, but there was. No STD’s, or anything like that…
So, I come out of surgery, and this was the nicest hospital I had ever been in (with my colorfull past, I have been in quite a lot of them). The recovery room had recliners, and little individual tv’s. Everything was nice an clean. They gave me a coke, then after a while asked me to try and go the bath room. Thats when the fun really started.
Apparently, I had never really known the kind of throughput a normal human male was supposed to be capable of. I didn’t know that I didn’t know. I got into the bathroom, still a little woozy, and woosh…blood and pee all over the walls, floor ceiling…It looked like a bad slasher flick had been filmed in there. I finally got it under control, and sheepishly opened the door. The nurse was standing there and I said “Ma’m, I am SO sorry about your bathroom. I just wasn’t prepared…”, she kind of look passed me, got a funny look on her face for a second, and said “Oh good…you did get some out…”
After that I had to carefully re-learn how to use my equipment. I’m all happy though, bathroom breaks didn’t take NEAR as long, and no sprays or multi-streams. Then I go back for a checkup, and the doc shows me before and after pictures, which I in no way wanted to see and said “Now you know, this will probably grow back in 6 months or so…they usually do…we’ll just have to do it over again”. Yeah…Right…Sure thing doc, I’ll just rush right on back here in 6 months.
So today, I am back where I started…I ain’t going through that again…I’ll pee sitting down if I have to.
Holyshit
Note to self, never go to penis doctor
Dear God! Girls bitch about the “girl” doctor, but that story made me feel really sorry for boys, in_that_particular_area…