How do you get into college without the fundamental skill of not peeing on the floor?
One of you students always decides to stand too far back from the urinal, leaving a nice little puddle when your done. Then the next guy, not wanting to stand in your puddle, stands behind it, only making it bigger. This progresses throughout the day, and by 4:00 there’s someting between a large pond and a small lake festering in front of the toilet. Some days, I wouldn’t be surprised to se a koi or two swimming around.
The guy pictured in this article must be a student here: http://www.straightdope.com/columns/030509.html – I hope he’s graduating soon.
If you stand real close to the urinal in order to piss, where’s the sport? Where’s the challenge? And sometimes when you drink lots of certain adult beverages, it doesn’t matter how close you stand to it…
Well, every time I’ve ever shared a house with a man, dribbles down the sides of the commode, splotchy walls, and yellow floors have always been a part of the deal, so I’m guessing aiming that thing must be awfully damn difficult. It may even be harder than putting the seat back down.
Well, sometimes when aiming for your average toilet, the stream gets split in two (normally caused by the two sides of the eye sticking together somewhere). This is quite a predicament to be in as it is impossible to get BOTH streams into the toilet. Some people can stop midstream and make some adjustments to their equipment before carrying on, others can’t and are forced to decide which stream is the strongest and aim that one while the other happily sprays the floor.
The other problem area is trying to pee when you have an erection. They don’t go down until you’ve relieved yourself, you can’t get anything even close to the toilet until it’s gone down.
The real crime here, is not cleaning up after you make a mess.
I don’t think it’s intentional, for most men anyway. I think it’s that last little squirt that comes out just as you are putting your (insert your favorite descriptive adjective here) back. Just one more reason for sitting down to pee.
Thank you, that was the most I’ve laughed this week, but you made me hurt my mouth, I had my wisdom teeth removed, and my mouth is so stiff.
But anyway, some physicist should study the stream, cause sometimes when I’m going, the stream will come out 90 degrees to where I am pointing it. FYI, for an accuracy improvement, pull the foreskin back to expose the head, then your accuracy improves greatly.
Some of us are just so big and powerful that no matter what we do, it splashes back out. I can stand in front of the toilet, piss into it never missing a drop, and there will be little splash drops around it when I’m done.
And NO, I refuse to sit down to piss. When/if you get “turned out” in prison, they make you sit to piss, like a woman. Or so I hear.
I think most people can aim correctly 999 times out of 1000. but if you got 35 people in your hall and they pee three times a day… your gonna get pee missing pretty much weekly.
I can’t believe I’m making my first quote on this topic! But I just have to ask this question. Wouldn’t it make sense (if you have the sticking together problem) to sort of pull it open before you go each time? Or would this be considered weird by the standards of the highly ritualized male bathroom behavior?
