How hard to train a cadaver dog?

So I’ve got a 6 month old intelligent dog. As I live in the Pacific Northwest where feet keep washing up on the beach, I’ve been kidding** Ms. Attack** that I want to train the dog to find bodies.

Then I thought, why not? How hard would it be to do?

That was a weird story… I hadn’t heard about it.

Thismight help you in your quest… at least to get you started…

Not hard at all, I’d think.

Dogs operate a lot based on smell, and seem to seek out ‘interesting’ ones (and roll in them, often). Training a dog like this is just enhancing a natural dog instinct.

Training them would be basically just letting them smell out things, and rewarding them enthusiastically whenever they locate a corpse (or part thereof). Dogs are trained to find drugs, explosives, lost kids, mushrooms, ducks & pheasants, deer, etc. all the time. So finding corpses would be just another smell to train for.

Cadaver dogs are extremely hard to train; about all they can do is play dead. Incessantly.

Well they learn “Stay.” pretty readily.

Thanks. Now I have to get my hands on some cadaveric breakdown chemicals.

Of course, as I contemplate this, I find myself visualizing some cop saying to me: “And how exactly did you discover this?” and “And why exactly does you dog know to do this?” and “why did you train your dog to do this…Dexter?”

Cadaver dog
Doot-doo doo-doo dou
Cadaver dog
Doot-doo doo-doo
Cadaver dog
Doot-doo doo-doo doo
Doo-doo doo
Doo-doo doo
Doot-doot doo-doo-doo!

Training related to cadaver dogs is given at veterinary schools. Do not send your dog to a second rate school.

Thanks. I’ll now think of you all day, and possibly all week.

Oh great, first our meetings at work were derailed whenever someone mentioned a manometer, then we got to talking about the phenomenom, and now this!

Sorry. I have a ‘Muppet Moment’ anytime I hear ‘cadaver dog(s)’.

Well, to get their attention you’ll first need Alpo’s Premium Brand Sheep Brains Dog Food…

I’m disappointed that no one in TV has contacted me about my idea for a hit series, “Cadaver Dog”.

*Who’s the leader of the pack
Who’ll find that lost body
Hey! there, Hi! there, Stay! there
It’s a corpse we all can see

Cadaver Dog!

Cadaver Dog!*

I haven’t finished casting the series yet, but Jon Voight would be a natural for the surly yet compassionate dog trainer.

First episode: “Timmy’s In The Well”. :frowning:

We could spin it off CSI Miami. For a few episodes we have Horatio take off his glasses and mutter that it’s time to get the cadaver dog, then we have him get showcased on these episodes. The hook is, he doesn’t just find cadavers. Sometimes he finds LIVE people, or kids, or crucial evidence that the blond woman with the gun fetish has overlooked. The best part is, he loves Horatio, so right after he’s stuck his snout in some decomposing corpse, he always disobeys his handler, and runs over to put his paws on H’s suit and lick his face and sunglasses.

Then we spin it off as a children’s show with the theme song from Johnny LA.

So what, I’m supposed to find him a cadaver sniffing scholarship to Yale? He’s smart, but he’s not that smart.

We had a Sigma Chemicals catalog around here for a while. One of the chemicals available was basically “essence of human cadaver”, to be used specifically for training cadaver dogs (DOO DOO-DOO DOO). I don’t remember if that was one of the chemicals that could be sold to the general public, the catalog also had dugs like cocaine and LSD that were not readily available as well as scent training versions of many drugs.

I wanted to get some of that human cadaver scent and make scented candles. Start off with some human cadaver and encase it in a nice apple pie or potporri scent. Use them as gifts to all the office girls that stink up the place, I figure a few shots of burning cadaver would be enough to get the things banned here.

The totally startling thing here is seeing this on the main menu for the SDMB, clipped down to “How hard to train a cadaver” :eek: I suppose if you promise them bra-a-a-a-ains, they’re trainable. :wink:

That would be great for one of those Scentstories disks!

Ha! Sigma has a Cadaver Dog (Doot-doo doo-doo dou) Handbook. It’s not cheap, though.

My birthday is in the summer, if anyone is trying to think of the perfect gift. :smiley: