You know its going to be a clusterfuck of Jim Jordans and Kimberly Guilfoyles climbing all over each other in hopes of being the Pericles of that funeral (although if asked would guess that Pericles is some rap star).
Subdued. Low key. Tasteful. Family only. No phones or cameras. No press. No flowers, please send donations to Planned Parenthood or the ACLU. Again, no press.
Trump would freaking HATE that!
All I can say is that the Trump family better make sure it’s a closed casket. Somebody’s bound to try to drive a stake in his heart just to be sure.
There’s a heart?
Hey, even the Grinch had a heart (in Trump’s case, I imagine it’s three sizes too small).
Keep trying! Only way to be sure.
I’m thinking that we are suspecting he is a vampire, we’d better go all in and also behead the corpse, fill its mouth with garlic, sew the lips shut with silver thread and bury the rest at a crossroads at midnight. You have to be certain with vampires. They come back like a $2 curry.
I’m in! 
I have silver thread and can get a silver needle if that is needed.
I’ll bring the steak - trump steak, frozen, with a nice point!
Dan
MIKE: I’ve got it! Peter Cushing! We’ve got to drive a stake through his heart!
VYVYAN: Great! I’ll get the car!
NEIL: [confused] … I’ll get a cushion.
[CUT TO: Downstairs, Neil runs to the fridge, Mike and Rick follow]
Oh no! We haven’t got a steak! All we’ve got is this vegetarian sausage!
[Varoom! VYV crashes through the drawing room wall with his car]
VYVYAN: Right! I’ve got the car! Where’s the steak?
I haven’t seen it. We watch a lot of TCM though, so I’ll keep an eye out.
Sadly, you guys are all either in Chicago, Mass, CA, or Canada.
I’ll drink w/ you via Zoom call and we can laugh about all the different plans we could have to piss on his grave!
Actually, I think our CA membershave the best gear/swag to accomplish this… and given how much of a shit he was you just might find a willing pilot.
“Mr. Spock… am I correct in assuming that a B26 bomber converted to forrest fire duties can hold up to maximum of 25,000 gallons of liquid… liquid that could be Pee…?”
Along with notable other appendages.
All measurable in smallish multiples of Planck size.
I see that former President Orange is again threatening, I’m sorry, promising to launch his own social media platform. It’s going to be called TRUTH Social. I’m sure the name is a subtle homage to the Russian Communist Party newspaper, Pravda.
You’ll appreciate this post, then.
Go, merry pranksters, go!
This reminded me of something. When I studied the Russian language years ago, and I studied it during the Cold War, we quite enjoyed a joke that somehow came to us from the USSR. Understand first that pravda is Russian for “truth,” and izvestia is Russian for “news.” And the two big USSR daily papers were named Pravda and Izvestia.
So. What’s the difference between Pravda and Izvestia?
Well, there is no izvestia in Pravda, and there is no pravda in Izvestia.
A bit of a hijack, but I hope it was amusing.