This is why I’m torn. Thanks for the responses everyone. I think I’ll contact a mod (oh, samclem!) to kick this over to IMHO for further discussion. I am curious though, astro. Why do you say that I should be “prepared to take on full financial responsibility for his family”? This isn’t my family and those aren’t my kids; I have my own family to take care of, so why should I have to feel obligated to them at all? I understand your position (it’s pretty much my position, after all) and the rest of your post, I’m just not real clear what you mean by this.
Moved to IMHO, so that more opinions can be offered.
You said earlier that you had conflicts because it was your brother. If you also consider that another relative, your nephew, is involved then what you have is a conflict between a guilty adult and an innocent child. I think you know what you should do about this.
While I agree that Silver Fire should take some sort of action, i don’t think it’s as clear cut as you do Czarcasm. The poor kid might be screwed if action isn’t taken, but he might be just as screwed if action is taken. What happens if the parents get sent to jail and the kid ends up in a foster home, or what not? I can see how one would be uncertain what to do in Silver’s position.
I don’t envy your position at all Silver, but I agree that you ought to alert somebody. It’s not just bad for the kid’s credit, but probably not the best example for a parent to set forth. With any luck they get enough of a slap on the wrist to scare them back into being more responsible, but not enough to detrimentally affect the kid.
From my reading, it appears that the standard for first time offenders of relatively minor fraud is probation (3 years probation springs to mind for some reason), rather than jail time. I will try to find a cite to support this, but couldn’t earlier, so didn’t mention it while it was in GQ.
Without a cite, however, it seems to me that it is highly unlikely for BOTH parents to be put in jail for a couple of phone bill-sized fraud incidents. And if the parents are put on probation, with court monitoring of the child’s credit rating, then the parents are put on notice that the issue IS a big deal (ie., hopefully jolted out of their rationalisations) and the child’s credit rating is protected. If the parents still continue, I seriously doubt they have their child’s best interests in mind, by that point.
Silver Fire, in the end, you have to make the best choice you can and what you can live with. Both choices have bad side effects. Good luck in your decision-making.
Since it’s in IMHO now -> He’s a thief. I’m not convinced it will stop here without any action, are you? Who is his next victim? The victim is currently unable to defend themselves and is in for a world of heartache and betrayal, and plenty of financial hardship. By making a difficult decision now, you will save him from having to make a very hard one as a new adult. Prepare to lose any relationship you may have with the brother and nephew in retaliation, if they discover you are the one who has the child’s best interests at heart.
Meh. He’s kind of a pain in my ass anyway. It’d be unfortunate to lose contact with my neice and nephew, but I’d like to hope they’ll realize someday that I did the right thing. Not that I’ve done anything yet. I’d like to be able to talk to him about it first, get him to understand how bad this is (and not just in the legal sense, which I’m sure he doesn’t really care about), but he’s completely unreasonable.
I’m a bit worried about the rest of my family, too. My parents know about it. Why haven’t they done anything? Am I “evil” if I decide to call him on it? Is it going to be “all my fault” if he winds up in more legal trouble? If they take that position, if they blame me for the things my brother did because I’m the one who turned him in, then what? I just don’t get a family anymore? Would I really give a shit? I feel like I really need an ally in all this, but I’m not sure how to say to my mom, “Hey, I’m going to turn your son in.” I’m not sure she’d agree with me.
Fuck it. I’m going to make some calls tomorrow. This isn’t right and if my family wants to be dumb and get pissed off at me because my oldest (more mature, more responsible, reliable, etc., right?) sibling is a complete screw up? Well, there’s just not a whole bunch I can do about that.
Wish me luck. :rolleyes:
A lady I work with was unable to purchase a house when she was twenty-ish. Because she had a defaulted mortgage from several years ago on her credit. She also had utilities and credit cards on her credit, all because of her mom using her identity.
The worst was when she suffered for weeks and weeks with dental pain because she had to come up with the cash to pay for the treatment she needed, instead of just using CareCredit or getting a small personal loan. (No insurance, but that’s another debate)
If I were you I’d make some calls. This lady’s story could be your neice or nephew’s story in a couple of decades.
This is a question I’m still stuck with. If they were provided with this kid’s SSN (and they were – it’s required to receive phone service here), wouldn’t they know his age? It would be mighty convenient for me if I could set this “bust” up like it was just an oversight on the part of the phone company.
I ask because of emacularius’ post. Don’t you have to be 18 to have a mortgage? Who gives a credit card to a small child? It can’t really be that easy, can it? Is there no one out there protecting these children from their parents? WTH? I feel a pet cause coming on…
I’ll update after I call the phone company tomorrow. I know I want to ask them a few questions without implicating my brother at this time, like how (if) they prosecute, is there anyone else I need to contact, will I stay anonymous, etc. So we’ll see how that goes.