What I mean is, when you meet someone, you see what they look like, you see how they act, you hear their voice, etc. How long does it take you to put that information together, and how much work do you have to do to reassemble it if something about the person changes?
I ask this because of something I’ve discovered over the past year or so.
When I meet someone, I have to make a conscious effort to assemble the different facets of their appearance and behaviour into a whole. When I meet them again, I have almost to deduce who they are again. (Voice? Check. Hair? Check. It must be Vera.)
If something changes the next time I meet them, it is extremely easy to throw me off until I’ve figured out who they are again. If I don’t have enough time to dio that, I will not know who they are. The recognition process gets faster for people I’ve known for a long time, but I don’t think I’ve ever been totally certain who someone are on seeing them again. And the longer the interval between viewings, the more uncertain I am.
Now, this lack of rapid recognition of people has led to some embarassing situations. It’s made it difficult to meet casual acquaintances, because if I don’t associate with someone frequently for at least a few months, I won’t recognise them reliably.
But… I didn’t know it wasn’t normal until my counselor and I were talking about it, and he said that he pretty much gets and retains a total impression of a person immediately. He doesn’t have to go through the work of consciously constructing it.
So, Dopers…
When you meet someone, do you have to work to put together an impression of who they are? Or does it just happen?
It depends on a whole range of things, but in general I’d say 4 minutes, including both looks and personality. But yes, how frequently you see the person will make a difference in retention.
One variable is if the person has a distinctive look, or has a look that you enjoy. Another is the sort of interaction you had with him or her. Yet another is the context – the second time you see the person, is it in the same location?
There’s someone I pass by on the street about once a week, and I always recognize her. We always say hi. If I saw her indoors, without her wearing her coat and hat, at a different time of day, there’s every chance I wouldn’t recognize her.
It just happens.
Your OP reminds me of a more extreme case an a Book I have - “The Man who mistook his Wife for a Hat”. Specifically the title-subject (The book is about that and many other strange mental disorders)
This guy does not recognise things by sight. He can see perfectly but he often mistakes things for other things, people for things, things for people.
Anyway, I have no problem forming a near-complete mental ‘file’ of someone upon first meeting them, enough to recognise them if I see them again (and if I see them at the other end of a busy street even. My recognition is pretty good), and enough to have formed an initial opinion of them, whether I may like them or not.
Edit: It strikes me as odd that it might take time (even if it’s only minutes) to form an perception/recognise someone. If I see someone for an instant, then see them again later on (hours or several days) I’ll recognise them with no problem.
Thats a tough question. As I don’t judge people based on looks, what they say is how I get my first impression. I always take people at thier word whether they look like a pimp or the president. If thier actions prove their words to be untrue, I have to go by that. I guess it is not a very good way to judge people as it requires time to form a true opinion but as many judge me to be bad or untrustworthy due to my appearance I have learned by example what it is to be judged. Not very pleasant for the most part. So I always extend myself in friendship to those I meet and still don’t judge them despite whether they do the same to me.
It just happens. I’m not very good with names, so if I go several months without seeing someone I only know a little I very may well not recall their names, but I rarely have to work at remembering that or how I’ve known a person.
That is very interesting. “Face blindness is inability to see the identity in someone’s face, even though you see all the features.” I wonder where one can go to have this checked out?
Assuming we met while I was sober, and for more than a span of around 5 minutes, I can usually recognize somebody at a later date. That doesn’t mean that I’ll remember their name (in fact I usually won’t), remember things about them, or even remember how we know each other, but I’ll definitely know that we have met in some fashion.
Usually this happens very fast and unconsciously. Sometimes it takes a few minutes and I have to work through it. If I don’t remember after 5 minutes, then I’ve forgotten.
I am TERRIBLE with faces. Unless I know you intimately I will not be able to recognize you out of context (so maybe if you’re a classmate, I’ll have no problem greeting you at school, but if I run into you on the street you’ll have to say something first or I’ll walk right past you).