[QUOTE=kunilou]
My wife seems to be afflicted with some sort of negative bouyancy. Despite having taken lessons a number of times, she is convinced that she will sink to the bottom of the pool. Based on the few times I’ve seen her try, she seems to be correct about this.
[/QUOTE]
I used to have serious problems with my swimming lessons. I started getting them when I was 6, but because I insisted on breaststroke-diving (which came more naturally) and the instructor wanted me to crawl (I still can’t coordinate the breathing), I never passed it. So I wasn’t allowed in the Big Pool. For the lessons we had to wear those horrid floating bracelets, which make swimming a lot harder.
One day when I was 9, we were having a birthday party in another pool. I had to go to the bathroom, but the ones close to the restaurant were crowded, so I hopped over to the blissfully-empty ones across the big pool. On my way back I slipped and fell into the pool.
I panicked, started trashing about, went down, all I could see was my own trashing. Then a calm voice somewhere said “listen, you moron, if you’re going to die, at least do it with dignity, willya?” And I thought “ok” and stopped thrashing.
And wooop, once I stopped trashing, I found myself being buoyed up by the water! I took a look around, saw I had somehow managed to get to the middle of the pool, figured which was the nearest ladder, breaststroked/doggiepaddled my way there (remember, the instructors I got refused to teach breaststroke, so my style isn’t very stylish) and got out.
When Mom saw me she asked “what happened to you? What a time you picked to take a shower!” and I said “oh, I just learned to swim”.
Knowing how to swim is good if you’re going to the beach; knowing when and where to swim is a must, unless you plan on spending the day side-up, side-down like the OP’s wife. Does she at least get off the towel enough to play with the incoming waves for a bit or walk along the shore with just her calves submerged? Great exercise both!