Mr. S and I met in a philosophy class many years ago. I could see the potential right away: intelligent, handsome, witty and with the incredible good taste to find me fascinating. Despite being goonishly smitten with him, his early offer of marriage set me back on my heels, and I resolved to take stock of the situation before making such a major decision.
So, what does a sensible girl ask about a potential mate?
- Compatible? Kind? Sexy? Check, check and doublecheck.
- Stable? Healthy? Decent earnings potential? Wow–checking out great here.
- Bad habits–like extracurricular females, alcohol/drug problems, chronic lies? Nope.
So, I married him.
And only then was his dark secret revealed. I started finding the empty Powells’ bags under the sofa, the crumbled charge slips in the closet, the window suddenly blocked by the custom bookcase and, as time passed, the free “thank you for being such a loyal customer gifts” from Amazon.com.
My spouse is a serial book purchaser.
Yes, the How many books do you own thread? made me weep with frustration. Sure, I could play oneupsmanship with youse guys and post Mr. S’s numbers, but I am ASHAMED, not proud.
I love books too, but in a friendly, platonic way–for Mr. S, books are exotic, perfumed sirens to be submitted to and not resisted, their spines to be stroked and their pages to be carressed. As far as books are concerned, he subscribes to the “wisdom is to be found in excess” school.
What I am asking all of you from that thread is: “What would it take to make you stop?”