Terrifel:
Unfortunately for Garfield… the tiger’s name is “Hobbes.” And he plays by Calvinball rules.
*"–and Hobbes has Garfield in a Flying Tyrannosaur hold… OW! That’s got to hurt. Garfield appears dazed; he’s moving toward the ropes, but Hobbes meets him halfway with a barrage of water balloons… What’s this? It looks like Hobbes is lining Garfield up for his signature move… I think… yes! YES! It’s the ‘Gooey Kablooey!’ Followed up by a beautifully executed ‘Noodle Incident!’ AND GARFIELD IS DOWN! He’s down! It’s all over, friends and neighbors!
“And as usual, Hobbes’ coach, Calvin, is entering the ring to urinate on the loser.”*
Man, I was all with you until the last line. That’s “Calvin” or Kalvin, certainly not Calvin.
Terrifel:
Unfortunately for Garfield… the tiger’s name is “Hobbes.” And he plays by Calvinball rules.
*"–and Hobbes has Garfield in a Flying Tyrannosaur hold… OW! That’s got to hurt. Garfield appears dazed; he’s moving toward the ropes, but Hobbes meets him halfway with a barrage of water balloons… What’s this? It looks like Hobbes is lining Garfield up for his signature move… I think… yes! YES! It’s the ‘Gooey Kablooey!’ Followed up by a beautifully executed ‘Noodle Incident!’ AND GARFIELD IS DOWN! He’s down! It’s all over, friends and neighbors!
“And as usual, Hobbes’ coach, Calvin, is entering the ring to urinate on the loser.”*
…but wait, Garfield with his usual cunning is feigning defeat, with a swift movement he grabs a large plate of lasagne and shoves it in Hobbes face. Hobbes screams, goes down and Garfield leaps on him and pisses right in his chops.Another victory for the champ
Terrifel:
However, the tiger has the advantage in overall speed and agility, being able to reach a speed of 60 kph, leap 4 meters straight up and 11 meters at a bound, whereas the domestic cat is barely able to haul its own bloated carcass from the windowsill to the food dish, on a good day with the wind at its back.
(le SNIP)
Dear Sir or Madam,
Enclosed is a bill for the repair of my monitor and keyboard, damaged from the forceful projection of drink from my sinus cavities thereupon. I accept cash or money order. Also, I think I am in love with you now.
Sincerely,ignis