they figured out that some mushrooms are edible and others are poisonous?
they figured out to grind up wheat to make flour?
they decided that letting stuff ferment made it fun to drink?
you don’t have to wade or swim across a river to get to the other side?
some snakes are poisonous and others aren’t? (same for spiders and other creepy crawly things)
that cooking stuff made it easier to eat?
blah, blah, blah…
they figured out that some mushrooms are edible and others are poisonous?
It wasn’t a decision, it was an accident.
you don’t have to wade or swim across a river to get to the other side?
Fallen trees. So I guess they could have fallen on someone.
hat cooking stuff made it easier to eat?
And a damn-sight tastier.
blah, blah, blah…
yadda yadda yadda
It’s been theorized that this was from people eating animals and vegetables that were burnt in a forest fire, so maybe a lot of people died in the fire. Hell, maybe it was the folks who were caught in the forest fire that were the first cooked meals.
What about butter? Ok, so no one died or anything.
But still. I can see milk, cause baby cows drink that, and of course we’d copy them. But you have to churn and churn and churn milk to get butter. Who thought that? “I"Ve been churning this for an hour…I’m going to churn it some more.”*
*Shamelessly stolen from www.notmydesk.com
they figured out that some mushrooms are edible and others are poisonous?
Probably a lot of child deaths, unfortunately.
they figured out to grind up wheat to make flour?
You can eat raw wheat. Farmers eat it for snacks out in the fields.
they decided that letting stuff ferment made it fun to drink?
Fermentation occurs naturally. Elephants get drunk all the time on fermented fruit.
you don’t have to wade or swim across a river to get to the other side?
Some genius noticed fallen tree branches floating down the river.
some snakes are poisonous and others aren’t? (same for spiders and other creepy crawly things)
Kill 'em all. Let God sort 'em out.
that cooking stuff made it easier to eat?
'Cuz it was winter? And it’s kind of hard to eat frozen meat?
I’ve always wondered about popcorn. Maybe a fire where the seed corn was kept?
There was some lady who was riding a camel and she was uncomfortable. So she took the goat stomach that she kept the milk in and sat on it. The journey was very bumpy. By the end of the journey there was butter. The same lady also invented cheese. I am not making this up. 
…A woman? I had always heard it was man… I think it was a man… or perhaps a God.
: snort :
Butt Butter
Are you familiar with Charles Lamb’s essay “A Dissertation Upon Roast Pig”?
Don’t you people know anything? If you read Jean Auel’s Earth’s Children books you’ll find out that one woman named Ayala invented everything, including penicillan. And sex. Lots and lots of sex.
StG
[Billy Connely] Who first discovered that you canmilk cows … and what did he think he was doing? [/billy]
Yeast was the one that got me. You have a nice ball of flour and water. You forget and leave it out for a couple of hours. When you come back it’s all swollen up like roadkill in the sun and obviously spoiled. Why would you decide to throw it in the fire and then eat it anyway. (I know - the answer was undoubtedly because you were really hungry and didn’t have any other food.)
Oh, I don’t know. perhaps someone already knew the effect yeast had on grape juice, and thought he might try it on flour just to see what happens.
I was toasting some sesame seeds in a pan on the stove. They evidently got a bit warm and about half a dozen popped into the teeniest popsesame. So maybe someone was toasting corn for a little extra flavor and popcorn was born?
I’m betting the yeast/bread thing happened because somebody was really hungry and not willing to waste anything. Grinding wheat by hand takes forever. If I’d had to grind enough for a small loaf of bread, even though I was aiming for some sort of gruel, alcoholic drink or cracker or whatever, no way would I dump it out because it was a little funky looking. A good bit of cooking heat will knock a lot of funk down to acceptable levels.
I’ve got to say that the first person to try cheese was very brave and/or hungry. Same goes for oysters and clams.
“Hey Doc, mind washing those hands before doing the blood letting on my wife?”
“We could probably still call it Coca Cola without the cocaine in it…”
“President Reagan has no comment about some supposed homosexual cancer.”