or Gurkhas or clones of your favourite martial artist? can the MMA fight against the chimpanzee’s ancient art of face-tearing and eye-gouging?
Leopard seals will mess you up. Elephant seals can just roll over and crush with 6,600 lbs. And they don’t have visible scrotums to chew off.
As far as martial artists, John Miller (who?) can turn the chimp powers against them. Gouging starts at the end, but don’t fast forward - you’re watching cinema history!
Threads you might find entertaining.
Chimps cannot swim, so the seals have a distinct advantage.
Actually, I understand that some chimps can - in fact, some can outperform human Olympic swimmers. Most however have no clue and sink like rocks.
First person who gives SCUBA gear to a chimp is on my hit list. They are too much like us – I don’t trust the bastards.
(I also have a standing policy of killing any raccoons I see knapping flint. If those little beggers figure out how to make tools we are all screwed.)
Now that there is a scary thought. Thanks, Dr. Fi for adding to my nightmares.
I try my best. It is good to see one’s efforts recognized.
There seems to be some fascination among 'Dopers about the combat prowess of an enraged Chimp.
I confess, I am one of these 'Dopers.
I have no idea why. It’s not like I’d find a bear taking on a lion particularly interesting…However if you put that bear up against a Chimp I’d be glued to the screen…
I bet Masutatsu Oyama could have beaten a chimpanzee.
It’s not just us - the Perfect Master led the way in 1976.
Seal vs chimp in the jungle ends very differently, of course.
oh how could i have forgotten the awesomeness of the standing dual intersect shockwave attack!?
the consensus in both threads was that the chimp wins in a 1v1. with the recent interest in Gurkhas and Navy Seals (“1 vs 40 bandits!”, “not if they attacked all at once!”), i was wondering how many unarmed men it will take to defeat an enraged shrimp.
The trunk monkey can on take all of Seal Team 6.
Mantis shrimp, krill or prawn?
I think I could take on a shrimpanzee hybrid. After all, he may be all muscle but he’ll only be about 6 inches tall, tops, and will have to stay in the water.
On the other hand I could get very unlucky and be facing 200 lbs. of enraged muscular primate with 8 arms (and 2 legs) and an exoskeleton.
Two seals can take him, if they both punch him in the head from opposite directions at the same time. It’s his only weak spot!
Flint? They are probably harvesting credit card numbers from your trash right now.
Shrimp are pansies. Mantis shrimp, on the other hand, are not shrimp despite the name, but are godless killing machines. Truly one of the most interesting and terrifying animals (that are not parasites).