Sorry! I was aiming for Chessic Sense; he was behind you.
‘SOMEBODY FROM THIS NUMBER CALLED ME! I WANNA KNOW WHO IS CALLING ME ON MY CELL PHONE!’
Using an apostrophe to mean “here comes an s” is an affront against all that is good and holy. It makes my teeth itch.
On vacation a few years ago (I don’t even remember where I was anymore), I found myself in a tiny mom-and-pop grocery store that had labeled the express lanes “10 items or fewer.” I wanted to buy everything I would ever need for the rest of my life there.
I have posted before about the worst example that I have ever seen. It was an email from a supervisor letting us know that “Charle’s won’t be in today.”
And that idiot author punctuated that wrong! It’s “eats shoot and leaves” to make any sense, not “eats, shoots and leaves!” She also ruined the joke in her book: the panda is supposed to kill the bartender, not just “shoot up the joint.”
See, now here I am getting all stabby.
And you managed not to e back, “Charle’s *what *won’t be in?”
The who isn’t really the problem, it’s when they want to know why they were called. Beats the shit outta me. 
It makes me stabby and think the writer is lazy.
Easy, darlin’. Have a cup of tea.
Abuse of apostrophes is yet more proof that today’s school teachers do not beat their students enough. Nothing like the fear of getting a yard stick across the back of the head to get a kid to pay attention to the rules of grammar. I blame this on hippies.
The poll has no option for, “It makes me want to edit their sign or document with a flamethower.”
In my stylebook, there is only one place where using an apostrophe with a plural is acceptable: when one is pluralizing individual letters. Example: “There are eight E’s in this sentence.” Even dates written as numbers (“1960s”) don’t get an apostrophe.
Oh shoot, realised too late this was multiple choice. Bugs me enormously AND makes me think less of the writer.
Just pondered on this the other day when I saw very nicely-done professional signage on a van that went something like: Carpentry and Remodeling: Deck’s, Fences, Kitchen’s, and more!
(I always wonder at the “and more!” part of signs like this. What - interpretive dance, vascular surgery, pet sitting - what more?)
But the idea that there can be enough ignorance of basic grammar for one or more people to decide on and commision a sign, and one of more people execute the sign, and not one of them realises that it’s completely fucked up, always leaves me gobsmacked. There’s a tire and wheel alignment shop around here that has a big professionally-done sign on the building: A-1 Tire and Alinement. Been there for years.
I simply won’t go there. If they can’t even be bothered to spell alignment correctly, I am sure as shit not going to take my vehicles there.
I feel the same way about foods advertised as “lite” or “lo carb.” If they can’t spell it, I ain’t eating it.
/tangent. Sorry.
I do sometimes return calls if I don’t recognise the number and there’s no message. I have a good reason for this, however.
I sometimes do it myself, especially if the singular in question is the letter “s.” S’s looks better to me than ss.
I don’t see it happening all that often, fortunately. What I do see occasionally is someone who doesn’t know the difference between ‘s and s’. They’ll refer to something like “my parent’s house” and I’ll want to scream, “Which parent? Don’t be coy; just tell us whether it’s your mother’s or your father’s!”
Be honest with us, Skald - how tempted were you to put an incorrect apostrophe in “apostrophes” in the title just to drive us all crazy?
Apostrophe…apostrophe…the word has lost all meaning.
Apostrophes have been tarted up and made to walk on the corner as streetwalkers.
It makes me stabby as well. It tells me you didn’t pay attention in school after the third grade, and that you pay insufficient attention to written words in ads, TV commercials, magazines, signs, books, user guides, instructions, recipes, etc. I’d mistrust your understanding and awareness of things and I wouldn’t want you as a link in any communication chain.
Sounds extreme, but I’ve yet to work with someone who had English grammar issues and wasn’t a bit of an idiot. Misuse of apostrophes, random capitalizations, there/they’re/their confusion… all are warning flags.
It depends.
Everyone has brain farts. I’ve sent emails or written posts only to realize later that I typed “there” when I meant “they’re” or added an apostrophe where I shouldn’t have. I know better. I usually do better. But sometimes, especially with more casual writing, stuff happens. When I see a single error, I laugh.
When there are several such errors, and the writer obviously has no clue what an apostrophe is for, I’ll think less of them.
You probably don’t want to park here, then.
Don’t worry about it. I voted for them all, so it should even out.
What?
ETA:
This is my very favorite phrase in the world this week.
Cockle’s and muscle’s, alive, alive-oh!
Intentional misspelling of “mussel” just to annoy some of you.