My mother and I are going to a cousin’s Bat Mitzvah next weekend. I’m going to start her earring wardrobe (one nice pair of ladylike pearls, one pair of funky teenage earrings). Mom can’t get out and shop these days, so she’s going to give a check.
That’s where we’re stuck: neither of us has the slightest idea how much to give. $35? $50? We never actually see the Bat Mitzvah girl, but we’re close to her mother and gandparents.
$35 would be considered generous 'round these parts. Standard for kid functions is $20 for birthdays, $50-100 (depending on how many attend) for weddings and $50 for graduations.
Seems like being a young teen, she’s between birthday stuff and graduating stuff, so it’d be like you’re splitting the difference?
Either $18 or $36 is… well, I hesitate to say traditional, as giving gifts for bnai mitvah isn’t traditional, but whatever. 18 is a special number because its the gematrial(sp?) equivalent of “chai”, life, and 36 would be 18*2.
I wouldn’t give a check at all, but a savings bond. But that’s just me.
I was always told that the gift should be the value of the per person cost of the event. High priced venue…high priced gift. Course the real bottom line is what you feel you should do given your relationship to the party girl OR how much you can afford…whichever is less.
$36 sounds perfectly generous to me (I received smaller gifts from some relatives for my college graduation), although if you want to give more I’m sure the young lady in question wouldn’t complain!
Just echoing the “multiples of $18” thing and adding that to a 13 year old girl, $36 is a lot of money. Consider that bat mitvahs are usually family affairs where everyone from third cousin twice removed in is invited, and rest assured that she will undoubtably be hauling in the cash.