How much of your childhood do you remember?

In My Humble Opinion
1

I’ve been reading some of the threads on here, about childhood injuries and what people wanted to be when they were six and things they thought when they were children, and I find myself marvelling at what people are able to remember. Myself, I barely remember anything at all from before I was, say, seventeen.(I’m thirty-seven now.) I have some flashes of memory from back then, but mostly I have stories that other people told me about what happened back then.

I’m curious as to how much most people recall about childhood. Is it clear in your mind, what it was like to be seven or ten or twelve, or is it just vague flashes of occasional recollection? Do the stories you tell in these threads come directly from your memory, or are they based on many retellings of the story, by yourself and your families, over the years?

How many of us are walking around, unable to remember a thing about entire years of our past?

2

I’m 19, and I can only remember pieces of the preceding years. Usually, if someone reminds me of something that happened, I’m able to recall it, but I can’t remember until someone prompts me. The farther back I try to remember the fewer clear memories I have, so I would say that I have flashes of occasional recollection rather than a coherent, chronologically arranged memory log.

3

This is a good question.

I remember bits and pieces of my childhood…Usually irrelevant things that had no bearing on who I am today, with some life altering moments as well.

My earliest memory is one of my birthdays. I recall having a white cake, with little toy clowns and a plastic train as part of the decoration. (That my mom wouldn’t let me play with, which irritated me greatly)

Fast forward 15 years or so, and I’m looking through some old boxes with my mother. I find the train. (Immediately I start playing with it :D) My mom then mentions it was a cake decoration for my second birthday! :eek:

4

I have a few snatches of memories from before I could walk or talk (a VERY few). Then a jumble of little kid snapshots and video shorts. Chronologic memory starts to kick in about three (I remember my birthday very well - we lived on Maui then) and picks up with ages four and on.

I could probably describe life from four on reasonably well (hmmm…, does that include the parts I didn’t understand yet?).

5

I think we’re on opposite ends of the spectrum. I don’t have any large gaps, except one year of my childhood, when I was seriously depressed after a traumatic event. I remember WAY back. There are probably as many of us who remember early childhood (before 2 years) as there are who don’t remember much before adulthood.

IIRC, the vast majority of people don’t remember much before about 2 or 3 years old. Of those memories, the strongest ones are often traumatic or emotionally charged or are special events like birthdays. Interestingly, this is the age where language skills are booming, and it is possible that we don’t remember preverbal stuff well once we become verbal. IIRC, again (no irony intended), most early memories are bits and flashes, sometimes sorted in the wrong order, or combined from more than one memory, or generated by stories from others. Daily stuff usually goes away, filed, but not accessible because you don’t travel that path often. And if you do spend a lot of time on a particular memory, it tends to be overwritten by the remembering - much like how a birth story is modified over time, highlighting some parts, forgetting others. I’ve been entertained by the differences in how I’d write my son’s birth stories NOW, vs. how they were written immediately after the events.

It is probably not the norm to not remember anything at all before your teen years, but not unusual to not remember things unless prompted. Some of my friends don’t remember highschool or younger unless someone prompts them. They remember what they learned, just not daily events, classes, etc. They remember their friends, but not what they did with those friends. I have a different issue - if I can’t remember it on my own, I often can’t remember it when prompted, either. I’ve already maxed out my prompt capacity with my own processes.

Capacity for long memories does seem to have a genetic component - long memories certainly run in our family. I can remember nursing, even though I was weaned by about 6 months old. :eek: I remember a variety of physical or visceral experiences, from how annoying it was to wear diapers when I was crawling, to the physical experience of eating spaghetti while sitting in my highchair, to being carried in a laundry basket (on top of the clean clothes) by my mom - the feel of alternating early morning sun and cool shade on my skin, the smell of clean laundry, and the rhythmic thump as the basket shifted and dropped against her leg or hip as she walked. I also remember intense emotional reactions, like the incredible overwhelming need to repeat a behavior that made my mom laugh - it was a flooding sensation, powerful, addictive, intense … knowing that something I did generated her (to me) beautiful laughter was both powerful and maddening - I was as driven to repeat grabbing her nose (I was about 9 months old) as I am now driven to repeat something that makes my son laugh. Totally hard wired reaction, and impossible to ignore. I can clearly remember the details of that particular event, from the precarious perch on her lap (she was holding me upright, but I was doing the standing, if that makes sense), and as I grabbed for her nose, she’d turn her head to her right (my left) to keep it away from me - and laugh. I still can feel the need to make her laugh again.

I remember a great deal from 2 and older - school (pre-K, K, and pretty reasonable stream of daily and special events from then on), home, family, environment, friends… I also remember huge amounts of data, research I’ve read years ago, conversations I had years ago, etc. Still, I’m aware that memory isn’t a snapshot - it can shift, warp, be overwritten, be modified, etc. So, while I have memories, that I THINK are real, I can’t rely on them to be 100% accurate. Most of the really early ones have since been corroborated by others, but even that corroboration can be wrong, or can mix with the wrong memory, etc. So, I have memory, but is isn’t necessarily accurate. You, at least won’t have to wonder if your childhood memory is accurate…

BTW, almost all of my early memories are physical memories or have a strong physical or physical-emotional component. I’m a kinesthetic learner, so physical cues are a major part of my memory process. I’m not sure if it makes it easier to remember preverbal stuff, overall, but certainly cueing in to how you store information helps with recall. Here’s more on the learning modalities and memory. (You may have to click the first page ‘enter here’ part to get to the article…)

I suspect that a lot of people have large gaps, though. I’ve seldom met anyone outside my family who has as long a memory, let alone longer.

6

I remember everything quite clearly from about 4 on, but I remember bits and pieces of things from before that. I remember sitting with my grandfather and holding up 3 fingers and telling him that’s how old I was. I remember my brother’s birth when I was 3 1/2. I am 39, so that was quite some time ago.

7

Hedra, that is one of the coolest posts I’ve ever read. It sounds like you had a happy childhood. I hope my 2 yo son is amassing such fond memories.

8

I have a few fragmentary memories of early childhood, some of which can be verified:

I remember playing on an ugly green carpet with a big floral pattern; my mom says that was the carpet in the apartment we lived in when I was a baby. We moved shortly before I turned 2.

I remember my 2nd birthday. My grandparents had come to visit to wait for my little sister to be born, and they brought me a present: a blue suitcase with a fuzzy lamb on it. This one’s pretty easy to place a date on because of the present, and my sister’s birthday is about 3 weeks after mine.

I remember ripping open the side of my arm on the frame of a metal doll house when I was 3; the roof had come off and the sharp edges were exposed. (Toy safety in the '60’s? Ha!) I also remember the bright light shining in my eyes while I was getting stitches.

There are other fragments that aren’t as easy to pin down: I might have been anywhere from 18 months to 3 or 4 years.

From about the age of 4 onwards, my memories are more solid. I remember a lot of details, for example, of when my little brother was born and when he was a baby. I remember the names of my Fisher-Price peg people and farm animals.

My brother, on the other hand, says he can’t remember anything before he was about 10. He thinks my long memory is freaky.

9

Every. Goddam. Minute.

10

I remember more about my childhood than my teen years. I’m thirty-two now, and I can recall quite clearly my emergency room visit from before the age of three and several less exciting events, like playing Superfriends with the neighbor kids and meeting my best friend at the age of five.
Yet, I can’t recall much about junior high, or even my first few boyfriends.
Is that odd?

11

I don’t recall much at all.

There are little snippets but I can barely even remember how classes were arranged in middle or high school. When I look at pictures of me as a small child, it seems like someone else - not like a smaller, younger version of myself. I just don’t recall much of my childhood. It amazes me how I can not recall things. I wonder if I should be concerned.

Tibs.

12

I remember most of it, but I try not to think about it too much.

I have some pretty clear memories going back to the age of two or so (and at least one vague one from before that), with clarity improving up to about the age of seven or eight. Things are pretty solid since then.

My memories have always been primarily visual, and while I don’t have what you would call a “photographic memory” I have sometimes impressed people with my ability to recall where everyone was standing and what they were wearing when specific events took place. Of course, since no one else ever remembers these things I’m not sure why they’re impressed by my account, since for all they know I could just be making it up!

13

NurseCarmen, I had a pretty up-and-down childhood, including some real major downs and some stuff bad enough that some kids don’t survive real well. But despite the worst of it, my parents both loved me (and the rest of us) passionately, and it shows up in a fair number of my earliest memories.

And, like you, I dearly hope my kids will remember some of these things… Hard to tell, yet.

The real advantage of remembering that far back is that I can relate to even very young kids easily - I recognize the sheer visceral delight of rubbing spaghetti on my face when a child does it. I can understand why being growing up is so intensely frustrating (I remember before I understood that it was ME growing, and not everything familiar shrinking… at around 2, I was intensely frustrated and heartbroken that the laundry basket had shrunk too far to fit me comfortably anymore…). It is very helpful to remember times when my understanding of the universe was vastly different than now… makes for a great deal of sympathy and compassion for my kids as they struggle through understanding all the things that they have to understand.

(sorry for the hijack…)

14

(sorry for the bad edit there… ‘why growing up is so frustrating’… sigh)

Oh, and as far as I know, there isn’t any major bad reason why some people remember farther back than others. Lack of memory before a certain point may be sad (like losing an old toy) but it isn’t enough reason to worry on its own. If you’ve got other things going on that cause you to worry, then perhaps it is a signpost to something else. But generally, where your mind drew the major memory line is just the way your particular brain functions.

15

I wonder why depression does that. I have a big gap in my memories too; I don’t remember much of anything that happened for several months after my grandmother’s death when I was seven. I don’t think I have any clear memories of second grade at all, besides seeing the school psychologist :frowning: Unfortunately, I don’t remember all that much of anything else that year, either, which I notice the most because my memories of my brother go straight from baby learning how to walk to toddler talking in 2 or 3 word sentences.

Other than that though, I remember most stuff from age 3 or so on(though my memories of nursery school are very odd, either we didn’t learn anything at all, or I blocked out the “academic” parts of the days out entirely). Before that there is some stuff I verified with my parents went back to age two- the things I asked them about are definite memories, because my parents seemed sort of upset that I could remember one of them, and they certainly didn’t bring it up over the years.

16

Like others have said, I have small fragments/snapshots of memories from before age 4.

Around age 3 I remember us living near Point Pleasant, NJ and going to the beach. My mom’s best friend from Denver visited and stepped on a shell which I remember sticking out of her foot with startling clarity.

Close to 4 years old I remember my grandma and grandpa coming up to visit us and how cool it was that she got to sleep in my room with me. I didn’t have guests very often in my ‘pad’ :slight_smile:

Even far before those memories I have small glimpses of being dressed as Raggedy Anne for Halloween, playing in my plastic pool outside, wild bunnies coming up to our patio, man-made snow from the ski resort nearby blowing onto our cars overnight… again these are all before age 4.

17

I don’t remember much if anything before the age of 3, but I have, if not an unabridged “OK, then what happened the next day in 1964?” kind of memory, at least a sense of uninterrupted continuity of self dating back to approx the age of 3.

Some of the chronology is a bit shuffled. I can remember “this” and I can remember “that” but I can’t necessarily always tell you which happened first. Like I know I lost one front tooth flying over the front of a tricycle and ran home crying, and lost a different one when my granddad’s car stopped abruptly and I flew over the backrest of the front seat and smacked against the dashboard, but I don’t know which one happened first.

I can remember my own thought patterns–emotions, curiosities, attitudes, intentions–it’s funny, sometimes I’ll find myself thinking of something in a way that leaves out lots of information and experiences, and realize that it is “throwback” thinking to an earlier way of conceptualizing it.

Like once I was having engine trouble and it occurred to me to wonder if the rods were knocking, and the mental image conjured up for “rods knocking” was something like a big grey soup bowl full of pencil-like “rods” rattling around and clanking against each other. After a moment I replaced the image with one of connecting rods attached to crankshaft at one end and pistons at the other (with bearings and bearing caps etc) and enclosed in the engine block’s cylinders, with a bent connecting rod knocking against its neighbors as the crank turns and rods pivot…and I realized at the same time that the “soup-bowl full of pencils” image was what I had imagined as an 8 year old kid listening to adults talk about “rods knocking” in a car engine.

18

My earliest memory would probably be my first birthday. My parents had brought out a chocolate birthday cake, with the first birthday candle I had ever seen.

The cake looked all right. But it was the candle that held me riveted. Cake was something that I’d had before, and it was clearly there only to hold the real, luminous jewel of a treat up.

So I tried to pick the candle up by the flame. And yes, of course it hurt like bloody hell. I didn’t know the words bloody or hell then. But I learned the meaning of the word “hot.”

I can probably rattle off hundreds of memories from before I was 6… mostly impressions, but a pretty decent number of experiences as well. From about 6 onward I’ve got about as good a continuous memory as I have of last year. Just more and more things that I haven’t thought about in a while.

Strangely enough, I seem to be one of the few who believes there’s no value whatsoever in studying your early childhood. To the point where I get slightly annoyed when people insist that I can find the answers to all my questions there.

19

I really remember things well from about four. I have a really clear memory of when I knocked myself out trying to run under a ladder. I can remember standing there thinking yep, I can run under there, no problem. Then the next thing I knew I was lying on the ground with everyone standing around me.

It’s quite funny, I was interrogating my son (who’s five) the other day. I wanted to know if he remembered anything of when he was a baby. I think I may have gone on a little too much as after a while he was clutching his head saying “Mummy, you’re hurting the nerves in my head!”. I didn’t seem to be able to drop the idea that it wasn’t that long ago, surely he can remember something!

20

Hmm… for some reason, not being able to remember much of my very early childhood saddens me. <sniff> I remember little fragments, certainly out of order and with many wrong details, from age… oh… 1 and a half to six, and from that point on a more solid stream of memories of my life. Still, it seems like just yesterday that I remembered everything, although that was probably never the case. I also have a problem (that continues to this day) with confusing dreams and reality, so that complicates things.

I think my first memory is kind of embarrassing… opening my diaper after a nap and spreading the contents all over the wall. A more pleasant early memory (I couldn’t have been more than two) is going down a spiral slide in my mom’s lap. I remember not feeling any downward motion and instead thinking that we were going around and around in horizontal circles in a yellow plastic half-tube. Also from around the same time I can remember being in time out and leaning backwards precariously in a chair, admiring my reflection on the mirrored opposite wall, when the chair slipped and I fell to the polished wooden floor, a tooth fell out and I bled everywhere.

The thing is, the things that I do remember I remember in vivid detail. I remember the rough feel of the slide, the slipperiness of the floor, [sub]the smell of my newly-decorated bedroom wall.[/sub]

One thing that concerns me a little is that I have no memory whatsoever of my great-grandmother, who died when I was six. None. Which just goes to show that my memory was indeed imperfect and full of gaps.

I wish I could remember more… those times were so much better. :frowning: